kt,
1. Although my family and friends know all about my incontinence, because they lived with me through several urinary surgeries, I simply do not bring it up. From time to time someone will ask me if I need to find a handicapped restroom, to which I respond yes or no. Bi-lateral Meniere's disease, which causes intense vertigo, with Tumarkin's episodes, and stomach paralysis, which causes nausea, vomiting and bowel upset, are far more threatening.
2. The medications I have been prescribed for incontinence were all side effect, no cure, not even a small improvement. I am on a fairly stiff medication regimen for my other medical conditions, which pretty much precludes any further experimentation with the medications used for incontinence.
3. My social life is more hindered by vertigo and GI upset than it is by incontinence. Tumarkin's episodes (Tumarkin's otolithic crises) are far more disabling. In a Tumarkin's episode, the patient simply collapses, with no prior aura, no pain, no warning, and no loss of consciousness. When this happens, I'd better be wearing sturdy protection, because my bladder and bowel always erupt. When I'm alone, I need 3-4 hours to recover; if I am out when a Tumarkin's hits, the need to relate, to respond appropriately to my surroundings, can extend the recovery time to 5-6 hours.
4. My body image is more threatened by Meniere's and stomach paralysis than it is by incontinence and the need to wear diapers.
5. I am proud of how well I manage in public without imposing my medical difficulties on folks around me. However, Meniere's disease has greatly degraded my hearing. Although I wear dual hearing aids, where others hear intelligible conversation, I hear murmur or hubbub. I do feel very alone and unable to contribute when I'm in a room filled with noise and talk.
6. I wear washable diapers and plastic pants as much as possible. I always return from vacation with a rash, from being forced to use disposables and being prevented from washing as much as necessary to keep my skin clear.
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