www.incontinentsupport.org

Each of us here have had questions that we were afraid to ask, or even answer.
Having incontinence is a lot harder than people can assume, both physically and mentally.
It takes a lot out of us at times, we also get depressed at times.
But at least we have the ability now, with the internet, to do our own research, and find out that WE ARE NOT ALONE!

I remember the times before the internet having to go to the local public library and TRYING to find out anything about what was happening with my body. Where do the nerves come out of the spine going to the bladder and why was mine now damaged from my auto accident.
Questions that I had that I couldn't get a good answer to. It was really driving me nuts.
HEHE those times now remind me of Fred Flintstone.

The quality of adult diapers have SURE changed over the years. First there was only cloth diapers then along came the first disposable diaper and boy did it suck. Now there are a lot of different types and manufactures are realizing that the best way of selling to the general public is through the internet.
Now people can get a sample of the different types of diapers and plastic pants to see what works best for each of us.

Im real happy that we have the internet now, and that it has brought a lot of people together that all have some kind of problems.
As the song goes, It truly is a "SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL".

Schoppy

Yes, I agree. We need a "like" button.

Oh yeah. I remember thinking I was the only one like this. That there must be something wrong with me, and all that. The very first time I put a computer together and got online (in my 20's), my whole world was expanded ten fold.

Yes, this whole "trip" has been a long one. The changes made by the manufacturing industry have been huge. As you said, from cloth diapers to worthless disposables to modern incontinence products was slow by some standards and fast by others. I have been 'dealing' with that for over 14 years. Which diapers to use and which ones met our needs was a challenge for me more because my incontinence was suppose to be short term. Unlike so many here who had it creep up on them or were instantly thrown into diapers after an accident I knew mine was coming, after prostate cancer surgery. It was to be short term, 3 months, maybe 6 then maybe a year. knowing it was coming was accepted as part of the 'healing' process. When it did not 'heal' the mental part began. Depression, anger, rage etc. took on different stages. This whole experience has been a lesson in endurance. Over time the feelings changed, and sometimes changed back again. The easy access to products obviously helps, helps in that there is some privacy to purchasing and thus privacy of self. I doubt I will ever just totally accept this but dealing with it has gotten better. So many guys I know talk on and on about having to get up at night 2,3 and even 4 times a night. Not me. No movie is too long or car trips that require many stops. There is some upside to wearing diapers, but also the down side. It took a long time to go beyond searching for the 'perfect diaper'. There is none. I found what works for me because I went past what they look like or are made of or what accessories add to the ability of making it all work better. People raging against the fetish world is just a way to release anger. Avoiding certain diapers or styles or material is an attempt to hold ones self esteem up because we have higher standards. In the end we wear, and use, diapers. That is the bottom line and nothing changes it. I can't say I am at 'peace' with dealing with this but I am much more realistic about it.
Something that came slowly and something I hope everyone achieves. Papa

My bladder control issues stem from a surgical mishap when I was 14 years old. I'm 74 now. So I've been coping with these problems for a long time. My family got me the cloth diapers and plastic pants that i needed while I was in high school. By the time I went away to university, I had regained enough control to generally be able to go without a daytime diaper (although I had a number of spectacular accidents during those years), but I never became reliably dry at night. While in university, I bought cloth diapers and plastic pants, but they were expensive and a big drain on a student's budget. After i finished my undergraduate work, I moved into an apartment while I was in graduate school and bought a second-hand sewing machine on which I learned to make my own cloth diapers. After quite a bit of experimentation, I eventually learned to make my own reasonably good plastic pants.

During my twenties and thirties, things went along mostly as they had in my student days. I generally was able to go without a daytime diaper so long as I was within a short distance to a washroom when needed. However, I lost my daytime continence in my forties and have had to resort to wearing a diaper 24/7/365 for the past 30 years or so. At the start of that era, I continued to make my own cloth diapers and plastic pants. However, I never enjoyed making and caring for cloth diapers. So I switched to disposables when they were perfected to the point of allowing me to get through the day and night without too many leaks.

I am incontinent because of a genetic disease, Marfan Syndrome. During my adolescence and young adulthood the disparate symptoms that condition caused made my doctors call me a hypochondriac. Not until my cousin called me and said that my siblings and I should be tested was it discovered. I tested positive and, over night, I went from being a hypochondriac to being an interesting patient. Incontinence? My doctors told me it was to be expected, that many Marfan folks must deal with it. Marfan is a complex disease, with so many seemingly unrelated symptoms, that my doctors should not be treated too harshly. And, many Marfan folks do not live to adulthood, so I am happy to be alive. My case is mild; too many are much worse. I am glad and grateful that incontinence is my worst symptom, that the stigma is diminishing, and that the products that meet our needs are improving with each passing year. Lastly, I am grateful to Schoppy and my friends here.

I tried to PM Papa in regard to his post on this subject, but something went wrong. I'm of the age that technology is a bit of a challenge at times. What I wanted to comment on, I guess, is open to anyone. Papa, you mentioned that you became incontinent due to prostate cancer. I too am experiencing similar issues. I had a robotic prostatectomy and a diverticulotomy 4 weeks ago. I had a foley catheter for 3 weeks due to retention problems after it was removed at 2 weeks. Now, I am fine with the exception of having little control. I had been wearing diapers on occasion before my surgery because of retention problems, so needing to wear them 24/7 now is not that big of deal. I'm wondering, Papa, when you had your prostate problems if an artificial urinary sphincter was something you considered? I know my urologist will probably present that as a possible solution for my incontinence...he already did due to my previous history. However, I'm really not interested in having another surgery, and having some artificial mechanism implanted to make me pee. What I have read about this device is that there is a greater chance of infections, and device failure. I know urologists are not that keen on diapers as a source of management, but to me they seem to be a fairly easy way to function. Has anyone else been presented with this alternative? How do I convince my urologist that I would rather manage as I am? Any suggestions/advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Dennis

Dennis, I was offered an artificial sphincter- to "help" treat my urge incontinence. (Yeah really) I ended up taking my urologist's time to explain to him that -any- retention purposefull or not is what makes my bladder hurt so much.

It actually took a few times, but eventually I got him to understand that freely draining into a diaper -without pain- was greatly more preferred to me than having to try and cope even more pain only for just to trying to avoid wearing diapers.

My advice to you would be to do your best and explain your train of though to your urologist as well. Don't let up on it either, until he finally gets it.

dp66, I was suppose to be incontinent for 3 months maybe 6. I had absolutely no control for over two years, and not much control since (14 years now) I quit my urologist out of anger. I have thought about more surgery but no doctor will guarantee 99% success and none will say that the surgery will not make it worst. SO...I wear diapers. It angers me that a war I fought so long ago is doing this to me (Agent Orange) I get 'compensation' from the VA but no amount of money can ease my anger or restore my life. (impotent also) I was only 56 when all this hit. A widower to bootMy answer to you is this; you know your self better than anyone, id diapers are okay for you then wear diapers. Only go a different route if YOU want to and never because some doctor is pushing you. It is your life. Live it your way. Papa

Dennis,

You have already stated why it is not an option you want to take. Like you, I would not want to go under the knife again just to have something implanted in me. The argument of infection is a very valid point. Also, those things won't last forever. It will need to be maintained or replace every so often, not sure how long but I would think maybe every ten years maybe. That is something to talk to him about.
He may not understand but it's your body and if he give you grief about it, I would say find a new doctor. It's your body.
Another good point to not do it is you can always do it later if you change your mind. You do it now and then change your mind, you will get opened up a second time.

Just my $.02
Rope