www.incontinentsupport.org

Prior to last night I hadn't had a night accident in 7 months so Wed night I threw all my leftover diapers in the garbage which got picked up Thu a.m. Almost since Aug I had slept without protection and had no problems. Every single time I thought I might need protection and wore it, I never used it.

Last night I fell asleep on the living room carpet (without using the toilet) around 9:00 after playing with the dog on the floor and gabbing with my kid who was laying on the couch. I woke up at midnight peeing through my sweats and onto the carpet. Yuck! Now my wife is mad not only for peeing but throwing out the diapers which she hadn't wanted me to do.

One one hand I think about all the wasted, dry diapers (think $$$) I've thrown out over the last 7 months and how enjoyable sleeping bare is. But now I also think of all the times (at least 2x a week) I fall asleep on the couch watching TV and not going to the bathroom until I wake up at 11-12 and move to bed. You might say, "there's a problem". But consider this: if I go to my bed straight away after using the can, I'm unlikely to have a wetting episode. If I fall asleep on the couch or floor without protection and someone eventually gives me a kick and says go to bed or I wake up on my own, I'm also unlikely to have a problem. If my wife were to bring a diaper and wake me from the couch to put it on, I'll go use the bathroom and then go to my bed. No need for protection. For protection to be useful I need to put it before settling down in front of the tv, before falling asleep unexpectedly.

My wife think the cause of my wetting last night is not so much of not going to the can. I'm a stomach sleeper and she thinks either moving on my stomach stimulates the penis to go or more likely puts weight on my bladder. I've always been a stomach sleeper but I'm a hefty 123lb versus the 98lbs I weighed when I graduated college. I can sleep on my side but I tend to always move back to my stomach over time.

I think my wife wants to buy protection again and quickly. I'm torn, in part because I don't want to admit I need them.

Thanks for your time,
G

That is a tough one. You almost don't need them. What you do need is a way to not fall asleep on the couch or floor, or to just start diapering up not at bedtime, but more like after dinner. If you're able to use the toilet before going to bed, then it would be ok to take it off for sleeping.

Oh wow. That's realllllly unfortunate. And for someone older than me, you're sizably smaller than me. Sorry that's not important just an observation. While I can't give too much advise, I'd just take some things into consideration. You may want to buy a smaller package of pull-ups just to have on hand. Wear em for bedtime and if you get back into your dry streak then just wasted one package of pull-ups. They seem like they'd be ok to have on hand for you, and if you don't get back into a wet patch they might be adequate. I'm only saying that because I don't know what you truly want or need protection wise. Those are just a good placeholder so to speak. Last night seemed like a lot of pee, you think a pull-up would've been enough or do you think a diaper would've been the only thing for that? Because if so, then unfortunately you'll probably have to buy a whole other package of diapers and it'll be unfortunate if you get back into a dry streak. But if that's the worst that happens you'll be happy. During your dry streak, would you attribute that to your prostate? Has that gotten better? I don't think it could've gotten worse that rapidly but I'm thinking about what you hypothesized on this accident last night. It could be various reasons, possibly not going to the bathroom or anything, possibly prostate related, maybe it was just a one odd thing and you had a dream that caused you to pee, no idea I'm just thinking here. Additional info might help but you seem to have provided enough. Keep us updated. Happy to continue this. Hopefully tonight is the first of many dry ones

*Update*
I read through your profile and I know now, you're not a fan of pull-ups. And that's ok. But my point still stands. If you're really not sure whether to buy diapers or not, the pull-ups might be the best half way point. Because of your sporadic accidents just having a package of them and testing yourself for a little while. But again, if you really aren't sure I guess just buying diapers might be the best move.

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Regarding my prostate, every since the doc got me on Tamsulosin back in August my prostate has been fine. No dribbling in the daytime, no problems emptying the bladder, and almost no side effects (a little post nasal drip is all). I think October or so is the last time I wore a mens guard in the daytime.

Last night was funny in that I did have an enormous salad (a lot of water there) but I didn't have much to drink besides, no alcohol, and no caffeine since my early/mid-afternoon cup of half-caff coffee.

I've always been one to fall asleep easily while watching tv. I get tired of sitting so I lay down to watch and then I'm gone! I'm also up by 5:10 a.m each morning, my day job is very mentally exhausting, and my 2nd job (part time) is physically exhausting so that contributes. The day job this week has been particularly mentally exhausting.

If I really wanted to take an exhaustive preventative approach, I would have to put the diaper on as soon as dinner is done or before a movie starts on TV. When I make to my bed, hit the bathroom and take it off.

I'm just depressed that I had an accident. One accident is enough to create a good level of fear and an almost obsession with worrying about another accident occurring. Maybe one accident shouldn't do that to me but it does.

Thanks all

It's ok G. Accidents can get us all down. And for you it's not regular so you never reach that period like many do where you just adapt and become normal to it. Getting a little depressed over an accident is normal. It's certainly something that none of us want, nor is it something that makes up proud or anything it's very embarrassing. But don't let it get to you too much. You can never say for sure, but based on your history you shouldn't fear too much. But if you really are nervous, I think you should just get some just in case. Whatever type of protection that would put you at ease the most. Just let us know what you're gonna do and how you're feeling. That's what's important.

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Hi all,
You asked me to post on how I feel and what the plan is. I feel a titch less than 100% masculine but I guess i have to deal with it.
I order Abena premium level 2 from cheapchux.com. A case of 84 was $73 with free shipping. Previously I was using molicare plastic backed which while cheaper per item were not reusable as the tapes really don't refasten well. abena tapes sometimes slipped in the past but I have tight speedo swim shorts that i can wear over it. I'm hoping that 1 case can last for a year or more. I don't like protective underwear. I find the waistband uncomfortable and it just looks frilly (i.e. feminine). If I've bought more than I'll ever need i can always donate to Goodwill.

i don't know exactly how I'm going to use them yet. I'm assuming that if I hit the can before going to bed that i won't have an accident in bed because I've been good there for 7 months. there have been times I've woken up at like 3 a.m. to use the can but i've not had accidents in bed. The biggest risk I guess is watching TV and falling asleep on the couch or on the floor and the risk is magnified a bit if i drink wine with dinner in which case it's practically assured (90%+) that I will fall asleep. The urge to fall asleep, when it comes, is very hard for me to fight sometimes. FYI that i was tested for narcolepsy a few years ago which was negative but i wouldn't be surprised if i wasn't diagnosed borderline now. I could put protection on before dinner if we're planning to watch something (we eat in the living room in such cases) and ditch it when going to bed. We don't watch TV every night so maybe I only go through 2 briefs a week. I'm open to keeping it on if I drink more than 1 glass wine, if I'm overly tired, hadn't slept well the previous night, etc.

Given that I've soaked a couch once and the floor once or twice, I think my wife wants me to wear something if i'm going to let myself fall asleep anywhere but the bed. Funny thing is though i took a nap on the couch yesterday after church and she didn't say anything although I bet she was praying! Slept for 2+ hrs and no problems but i did use the can beforehand.

Everyone on the board has more severe issues than i have but sometimes I envy you for having to deal with a certainty instead of the uncertainty I deal with.

G

G,

Try not to let something like a diaper make you feel less masculine. Masculinity isn't measured by your underwear. It's measured by literally anything else. And it's not like you're alone and even then, you won't even be wetting them that often, or wearing them that often, and even more embarrassing, you won't be messing them ever! I'm not trying to be brash but it'll be ok. You're still as manly as you were when you didn't have a diaper on. Trust me!

Thank you all. I appreciate the encouragement

You're way better off wearing the protection than not wearing it. It's like cheap insurance.

Hi all,
Had a 2nd accident about 2 weeks after the previous. Wasn't wearing protection so the bed got drenched. The waterproof pad saved the brand new mattress. Have worn protection fairly consistently since then although I've fallen asleep a few times on the couch without protection. Got lucky that there were no accidents. Using abena brand which I'm disappointed in. They absorb quite fine and are comfortable wet or dry but the taping system truly sucks. if i don't wear a tight speedo swimsuit over the diaper the tapes stretch and rip off the back of the product. I guess that's why abena is cheaper than some of the other brands. I bought them because they are relatively inexpensive and I was hoping to be able to reuse a dry product a 2nd night. I bought a case so i still have 2 bags of crap product to use up unless I donate the bags to goodwill.
The only cloth backed product I found whose tapes don't suck are the tena slip products which I got when I was overseas. prior to this i was using a plastic molicare product (ugly purple ones) which were fine but like i said i was hoping to get something to reuse. oh well.

G