www.incontinentsupport.org

hello everyone

I am new here and just wanted to introduce myself.
My name is Stacy. I live in California and was in a bad car accident 6 years ago which has left me totally incontinent as well as some hip damage. So needless to say I'm in diapers 24/7 for the rest of my life which even after six years i am still having problems coping with it. I was wondering if some of you could tell me does it ever get easier. I have a great boyfriend who totally loves me and stands by me 100 percent and i thank god for that but i guess what makes it more difficult to deal with is being accepted for it. I worked at a major retail company for 11 years and after my accident i was let go because i had to take extra breaks to change myself and was a little slower then other because of my hips and also was ridiculed for it by other employees. I just can't believe what a cruel world we live in. Last month my boyfriend surprised me and took me to dinner and a movie for our 8 year anniversary. we were at the restaurant and as i was sitting down my diaper poked out above my waistline and a little boy at the table behind us told his parent's (look that women is wearing a diaper) The mom said told him to hush and then the husband said i knew i smelt something. They both started laughing. I looked over at my boyfriend and he was red in the face as can be ready to explode so we went somewhere else for dinner. I just Can't believe how cruel people can be. Anyways im just looking for some people to talk to and relate with. I have one friend already on here ( sociologygeek ) who is a cerified angel. He is helping me get some help with diapers as my budget is next to nothing being unemployed and still waiting for medicare. My boyfriend has been great and helping as much as possible. we live together now and things are finally starting to look up!!

Hi Stacy

Welcome to our group, you will find a lot of great support and advice from the members.

sorry to hear what you have had to go through, it does get easier to accept and deal with having to be diapered 24/7 with the support of your family and friends and the members here on the site.

being able to talk about incontinent issues openly with other people who are going through the same or simuler issues has really helped me come to terms with having to wear diapers to manage my OAB issue.

unfortunately there will always be people who can not help being insensitive when they notice adults in diapers fortunately most people realize there is a medical need for people to wear them.

Glad things are looking up with you and your boyfriend and your life is getting better

Hi and welcome. And yes, it does gets easier with time.

Believe it or not, but it took me about 10 years to fully come to terms with needing diapers- and this was in spite of always having liked them too. Being forced into diapers is something most of us abhor, and at first it always seems like they ruin your life. Eventually though you will come to realize they are actually letting you still live it, and it's never really that bad after all. You'll get there too, just give it time.

And those people in the restaurant were aholes for sure, but eventually you just stop caring what others think or say about you needing diapers. Luckily, most times other people just don't even notice you're diapered so it's usually a non issue, with encounters like that being far and few in between.

Hey Stacy, it's mia

Sorry to hear that your having a hard time, it's good to vent from time to time. Also it's nice to see a fellow female dealing with the similar issues because incontinence can be a really lonely, degrading problem.
I deal with both bowel and bladder incontinence, I lost complete control after an infection I had when I was small. Been dealing with it for nearly my 18+ years of my life so if you need to talk I'm open.... Lots of other people here too can be very supportive.

Hope you do okay

Thanks guys i greatly appreciate it

Add my welcome to those above. I guess, because I walk like a drunk, that distracts the attention of strangers, which makes my padded bottom a lesser issue. However, the occasional accident can still cause a problem. Like you, my medical issues have given me some difficulty in maintaining regular employment. The laws which should protect us only work when somebody enforces them.

Again, welcome, and know that you are among friends who understand your situation, because they live it daily.

Several years ago I developed urgency incontinence due to a large prostate. I wear a diaper 24/7 also. I think of my diaper as my regular underwear. I do what I want and do not let my incontinence slow me down. If you have e a friend that you can talk to about having to wear a diaper, I think that may help you deal with your condition. He/she must be understanding, there are some people that understand while others do not, so chose wisely.

Remember you can do anything you want, so live your life to the fullest. Do not let wearing a diaper slow you down. Think of your diaper as just regular underwear.

As others have said, you can always post your problems or successes here. We all understand what you are going through.

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RetiredRN

Hi Stacy,
Welcome to our little corner of the Internet. You will find advice and compassion here from others who have had similar experiences. You are learning that we need to dress in a certain way because of our needs. Often you will hear about how we prefer dark colored pants/slacks. Yep, it hides the wet spots that come when our diapers have that inevitable leak. Wear a size larger than you did before, and nobody will see that bulge you worry about. But your story brings up another bit of advice - wear long shirts/blouses and keep it tucked in. Give all those old shorter ones to a local charity.

It took me more than 7 years to come to terms with how my body works. I hope you can adjust sooner than that.

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- Tom

I just wanted to say thankyou to all of you for being so kind and welcoming.
I think this is the place for me

Stacy, believe this... there are more good people in the world than cruel/bad ones. We are all sensitive about our personal selves, so even a few cruel/bad people can throw us off our already fragile balance. You have a man who loves you, this may last...or not. What matters most is that you, and we, have to remember that what matters most is how we all feel about ourselves. Never let another person permanently affect that. Most cruel things are temporary and fade quickly. Find the right protection/diapers and this problem is 90% defeated. I have been in diapers 13 years. One day fine the next incontinent (cancer surgery) and yes, at times, I still feel angry/embarrassed/etc. BUt mostly I continue with a normal life. Stay true to your self. Papa