www.incontinentsupport.org

I don't post much. I guess I feel others have more serious issues then me. I just wish I could find an answer or title to what I experience. I do know that I have pretty severe lower back arthritis, lumbar stenosis, and an enlarged prostate. From what I have read, and been told that those conditions don't necessarily cause incontinence. There are days that I hardly have to pee at all...don't really feel the sensation that my bladder is filling. So, then, what causes mine, and is there a name for it? My urologist doesn't think Turp surgery would help my incontinence and probably make it worse. I don't see him again until mid June. Currently I manage my situation by wearing some kind of diaper most of the time. There are times when it's not necessary, but other times I'm glad I did...very unpredictable. Am I the only guy that manages in this manner? It definitely causes some anxiety trying to decide if it's going to be a dry day, or a not so dry day. Sorry for complaining. I guess I just needed to vent a little.

Dennis

I'd get a second opinion. It's been my experience that urologists have no idea what they are doing, and often guess at something just to make themselves sound smart. Heck, it took me more than a dozen urologists and nearly twenty years before I got a good diagnosis.

Dennis, your problems and mine are about the same - arthritis, stenosis, prostate. However, I had also some pelvic trauma from an old accident.

I believe you are correct that these problems do not necessarily cause urinary incontinence, but that they can contribute to urinary incontinence. The effects will vary significantly from one individual to the next. Whenever the spine and the nerves of the pelvic region are involved it can become complex and difficult to diagnose. Also, as you note, it can vary from day to day or during the day. I can go without a diaper for a while to practice "timed voiding" during the mornings, but I always sit on an absorbent pad, just in case. I would not attempt that during the afternoon.

Please vent and, as you have just found out, you are not alone. I also am available for a PM about anything you would like to discuss that you would prefer not to post here. However, as you have seen, most of us let it out right here in the forum!

--John

For me, incontinence is a life-long marathon, not a sprint. There will be good days, and bad days. Too often, frustration is the name of the game we play. Feel free to vent here; I do, and I find it useful, among the friends here.

Dp66,

I also have osteoarthritis and lumbar stenosis, but so far my prostate seems to be OK. I've had bladder-control problems since I experienced a surgical misadventure when I was 14 years old. I'm 74 now. So I've been dealing with these issues for a while now.

Unlike yours, my incontinence is consistent and frequent enough that I need to wear a diaper 24/7/365. Wearing a diaper has become a routine part of my life, that enables me to keep my pants dry on the outside while i go wherever and do whatever I want.

Vent away, my friend. We all have good days and bad days. My incontinence is fairly light. The urinary frequency is my major problem. (20-30) times a day these days. Have a recent diagnosis of interstitial cystitis after 2 1/2 years of struggles with my bladder. Some days I feel ok, and some days my bladder does what it wants to. Sometimes I feel like I could go without a diaper and then I remembered the the other times I thought that and ended up having an accident. It's easier to just wear a diaper and get on with it. We're all here to listen. Add my name to the list of people you can pm if the going gets tough. I know how it is. I developed a severe anxiety disorder when I began my bladder troubles.

To those that indicated I could pm and vent any problems/anxiety issues I may be experiencing, Thanks. I will definitely keep you in mind. I'm 69 years old, so I have a feeling things won't improve that much or at all.

Age has little to do with it. You will meet people here of all ages. I'm 58 and been incontinent for 15 years. Adjusting takes time.

_________________
- Tom

I've been incontinent since I was 18. Although, I highly doubt 22 years of aging has help it any.

I know exactly how you feel. Over the course of a year or so I started wetting the bed more and more often. Now it's every night and I wear a super absorbant premium diaper to bed every night. I'm honestly not even sure at this point when the last time I woke up in a dry diaper. As my bedwetting was ramping up, I started having occasional but very uncomfortable "urgency episodes" as I'd call them during the day. This wouldn't be every time I need to urinate but maybe 20% of the time. Over time, some, not all or these "urgency episodes" became accidents. Usually they're minor, a few ounces. Sometimes they're a bit heavier 5-6oz. I started wearing Tena men's pads but only on my commute or other times when I know I won't be near a toilet for a while. The guards failed me one day getting off the train on my way home from work. I don't think anyone noticed but by the time I got to my car I had a wet spot on my pants. This wasn't a full flood or anything but if I lingered around in public for a bit longer someone surely would have seen. So I decided I needed to wear pull ups rather than guards.

I've been managing a lot like you. Only wearing sometimes during the day when I think it's needed. Now I'm doubting my strategy. I wasn't even going to post about this but I had a pretty bad accident the other day. Leaving the mall still in the food court I lost a good amount of urine and the pullup didn't hold it all. I had to walk out of there with pretty obvious wet pants and I know for a fact people saw it. It was humiliating. I just put my head down and made a B-Line for the exit. It seems my OAB is getting worse. The meds aren't working, pullups, at least the cheap ones I've been using aren't enough, and selectively wearing is very questionable now. I'm very seriously considering just throwing all my underwear away and wearing diapers full time. I really really don't want to do this but I'm not sure I have much choice anymore.

So yeah, I know how you feel. It sucks. I have a lot of anxiety right now about whether or not I need diapers full time. I try to rationalize that this recent accident was only one time, so maybe it's not that big of a deal. But then I think, what if that had happened at a family event/party/etc...or worse at a business meeting. I need to call the urologist and see what else he has to offer because the pills are useless.