www.incontinentsupport.org

ive come to accept (finally!) that diapers are a permanent part of my life.
i have what works for me. the atn's that medicaid provides arent too bad. and with compression and pull pants and the occasional onsie, i have found a combo that works and doesnt leave me wondering if im gonna leak all over the place.
ive been to urologists, my gp, etc. and havent had help so far. its taken over a year but ive finally come to a place of acceptance.

I'm jealous. It took me around ten years to come to that full acceptance.

Justej,

I am glad you reached a point of acceptance. I reached that same point sometime last year or so after trying every treatment under the sun..and then getting dry for a limited period of time.. and then start peeing myself again. So, ive said im just gonna pad up and life life..and not let my life be dictated by a toilet or worry about carrying a backpack wherever I go with diapers in it.. I just wear premium diapers and change every 4 hours or so.. except when im at home.. with the attends i kinda have to change when wet..they dont hold very much...

peace out!

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Hi Justej

Glad you hava accepted having to wear, it does make it easier to get on with life.

Rob

Acceptance makes things a LOT easier. You probably will find that, as your mental attitude toward your incontinence and need for diapers continues to evolve, you will have less stress about your incontinence. Of course it does not all go away, but it became much better for me. Acceptance was the first and hardest step.

--John

I am glad to see you begin the process of acceptance. And indeed it is a process.
It took me a bit of while to accept" wearing diapers and my urinary issues.

Everyone who is faced with some drastic loss enter the 5 stages of grief.
I don't know if it was just blind pride or some self righteous willful ignorance and self lpathing feeling of lack of dignity that caused me to not get treated for my urinary issues as promptly as I probably should have following my car crash.
It can be rather perturbing and embarrassing for guy to have issues down there - especially pain in your genitals....

But as the pain and issues didn't go away and actually got somewhat worse, I had to bite the bullet and find a urology. I started wearing pads shortly after cause of the frequency on top of hesitancy, leakage and debilitating pain across my entire body which makes trips to the bathroom an incredible chore.

After dealing with all the horrible and disparaging doctors especially urologists and everything, I became fed up with it all.
Having a few relatives be a bit understanding of my pains has helped though unfortunately my close immediate family have been not thst helpful.

In a way diapers provide a much more functional source of comfort and security and allow me to be able to more confidently go about my life with few less worries and pad my seat. Lol

This is really hard no doubt. With the relative newness of this for me I'm in an emotional whirlwind. I've had a little bit of bedwetting my whole life, like once or twice a year but it's now become a lot. Enough that I'm I'm diapers at night. Now I'm leaking g due to urges once in a while during the day. I've been lucky enough to get by with always being close enough to a bathroom other than a few times at home. Now I'm wearing guards on my commute due to a scary close call recently.

During my physical a few months ago I lied to my primary care doctor when he asked me if I had any complaints. I was too ashamed to bring it up. Now that it's getting good worse and to the point that I'm in diapers at night and guards at certain times during the day I knew I needed to see a urologist. Actually the guards came post urologist but anyway i digress. I have a PPO so I did this need a referral but I know my pcp will get a report and he'll either call me or it will come up in my next physical. Oh well. I've been seeing my primary care doc since I was 16. I'm 35 now. We talk like buddies during our appointments. Maybe it would have been easier to tell him if he was a new doctor I don't know.

One minute I'm like ok this is embarrassing but I'll be ok...Im managing it discreetly, practically, and responsibly. I remind myself that it could be worse. A crappy bladder is better than a lousy heart! Other times I get sick to my stomach. Last night the baby woke up crying at 3 am. I got up to help him and his problem wasn't hunger. His diaper leaked and his crib was wet and he was uncomfortable. I changed him and cleaned him up. I went back to my room and my wife was up. In I walk in a diaper under my boxer briefs. I tell her what the baby's problem was I I got a little emotional hearing my own diaper crinkling. My wife reassured me but I still felt like junk.

Between 3 am and this morning I wet. The bed was dry but my diaper was heavy with urine. My wife asked me if I had an accident last night and I told her yes but the bed was dry. She said that it was a good thing I was wearing protection aND that a dry bed is worth it. I totally agree but on my way to work I couldn't help but feel miserable knowing I have the same problem at night as my 1.5 year old.

I check this forum and the one at nafc and remind myself I'm not alone. Acceptance? I don't know about that but I know I can find a way to get through this. I'm so worried my daytime problem will get worse and I'll end up in diapers all day. I try not to get ahead of myself and take one day at a time.

We're all really lucky to live in the Internet age. Being able to read other people's stories is immensely helpful. At least I know I'm not alone and my shame is unfounded. Sooner or later I'll start to believe that.

Just some advice. Tell you primary doctor EVERYTHING. That way you will have all of your medical information in one place. When I had my cataract surgery done I made sure the eye doc sent a full report to my primary doctor. The serial number of the implants are on file with him. Same as with my urologist. Whenever I have my eyes checked for now glasses the report goes to my primary doctor. I also ask my primary doctor to review all of my medications as he has all of my medical history. By having ALL information in one place I do not need to keep track of it.

_________________
RetiredRN

After I tried a series of recommended treatments that did not alleviate my incontinence, I finally realized that incontinence is a manageable problem and that the diapers I need to wear are in principle comparable to eyeglasses or a hearing aid. Diapers enable me to go about my life in an almost normal way; and I've had a successful professional career and a reasonably successful personal life despite being in a diaper 24/7/365 for over 30 years now.

apparently my days of acceptance come and go. and i guess thats normal. today is a not so much acceptance day and ive gone into a depression. i know there are others like me out there but i feel so alone. im going to work (my part time work of walking a dog), going to pick up some granola and get one of my piercings fixed, and go see my shrink. i need to clean my apartment and do laundry so maybe that will make me feel better. i just feel so....alone and ashamed.