www.incontinentsupport.org

I'm not really looking to weigh in on this, in terms of the content of Brian's message, as none but Brian and Wetters were party to that conversation, but I wanted to say: I spend a lot of time on a lot of internet forums, and never have I ever heard that it's customary not to PM people unless invited. This goes double for admins. They definitely don't have a privileged communication in my experience. They should expect private messages.

I could quote from the forums I'm talking about.
But then, they are all support forums for things like web hosting and forum software, that I help out at, so it could be due to too many people PM'ing their support issues is why they made the rules.

But either way, Wetters is NOT an admin, like Brian kept saying, and there was NO reason for him to send that PM to Wetters, or anyone else, as he specifically stated before, for people to PM him, if they wanted info, and Wetters and justej most certainly did NOT PM him for the info.

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Hello, my name is Scott, and physically, I am 40 years old. However, thanks to abuse, and being special needs, mentally and emotionally, I am equal to about 6-10 years old.

OK. Not admin, a moderator (dealing with forum content issues), which falls into squarely into the same category as far as I'm concerned here.

The question then becomes if Brian was addressing the message to wetters the moderator, or wetters the individual. As a moderator, I think you need to be fairly thick skinned either was, but if the message has a harassing tone, it crosses the line regardless of whom it is sent to. I don't know if that's the case or not (not being directly privy to the exchange), but I think it's necessarily a part of the discussion here.

I think Wetter's post, describing a part of the PM, is enough merit.




Not to sound argumentative, but it seems that you may have missed parts of the last 3-4 pages, with all the various comments.
Happens to me, too, so not meaning to sound rude or anything.

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Hello, my name is Scott, and physically, I am 40 years old. However, thanks to abuse, and being special needs, mentally and emotionally, I am equal to about 6-10 years old.

I personally joined this community to help other adjust and learn from others that have the same issues I have. Wetter and John just to name a few. I personally don't like having people read my despair and using it as there fetish in life. I have read all of the comments and this is very hurtful to so many. I have commented before, we didn't ask or want to be this way but this is the cards we have been dealt and we must move on. I don't think any of this AB/DL stuff should be allowed at all. Just my thoughts.

No, I didn't miss that. While it certainly sounds damning, we're getting that through Wetter's filter. As I said before, the only people that really know what was said, the tone, and the precise circumstance, are Wetter's, Brain, and perhaps Shoppy (if he's looked into it). I don't really want to pass judgment, either way, on a conversation I wasn't part of; which is why I'm more interested in the semantics of forum policy than the particulars of this incident.

In general, I think Brian is pretty poor at compartmentalizing his sexual proclivities, and keeping them out of his posts (and I've called him on it before), but I haven't sensed anything overly malicious or aggressive about his public posts. If he crossed the line in his PM to Wetter's, that certainly needs to be addressed, but that's not for me to say.

MSUSPartan, thank you... I thought I was the only one not in the know about not PMing someone. And I agree, as for the rest of the particulars here we should leave that to Schloppy and the other moderators etc to handle.

EDIT for clarification: I am taking no position on the rest of it, too much I either missed or was done through PMs. Damn TBI, sometimes makes me a bit dense.

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When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius

I also totaly agree with MSUSpartan.
If there is some unwritten code regarding PMs it is time to write it up.

For what it's worth, I'm feeling extremely guilty for opening up this whole can of worms in the first place by questioning diaperedmommy/trufitgirl's identity/intention. I don't feel that I'm completely to blame, though, because Brian didn't need to perpetuate the vibe by offering cycling_guy a private explanation as to why AB/DL exists, stating publicly that that he was asked to keep his AB/DL commentary "low-key".

My response to the statement contained in Brian's response to cycling_guy's post was "I'm thinking it (his AB/DL comments) should be "no-key"". Brian jumped on me for that. Brian didn't break an ISC forum rule by sending me an unsolicited pm - there is no rule against it, and content doesn't matter. That's why he, by his own admission, delivered his AB/DL crapaganda to me in the form of a pm. There is an ISC rule against AB/DL content on the forum. I called him out as to his disregard for common courtesy and politely asked him not to pm me again. A key point here is that Brian clearly felt that the right thing to do was to ask cycling_guy if he wanted to get a pm outlining AB/DL before sending it, but he didn't give me the same option.

Life's tough enough, and this place is intended to be a positive and supportive environment, not a cesspool like the Depend forum became after K-C themselves trashed it.

W.

Wetters, but we <3 you anyway!!

Okay, now who brought the pizza?

_________________
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius