Re: It was a blast!
Tue Sep 08, 2015 10:17 pm
kdlstar wrote:Porkchop, welcome to the ISC forum!
I am sorry about your trauma, pain and symptoms- and especially having to deal with frustrating doctors and "medical professionals".
I think many of us, including myself, have had plenty of unnerving experiences trying to find answers- and dealing with less than pleasant or competent 'docs'. Following my car accident last year I suffered tons of pains and symptoms ranging from bowel and urinary, to weird twitchings, anxiety and panic attacks, PTSD, depression, and the most unnerving of all- pelvic pain. I myself have kinda given up and sort of learned to just manage the situation- it really help reduce my anxiety and stress quite a bit. I wouldn't say exactly a 'defeatist attitude'- more
of a, "Ok i got much more important things in life i want to focus on and do. No major cancer, disease or pain right now- No way a little padding will get in my way!"
Heres a couple quick tips:
1) Regarding the PTSD- I recommend checking out the support group if you haven't yet already https://www.myptsd.com/ It has wonderful amount of information, articles, forums and helpful members who have gotten me through some bad bouts. I would also suggest you look for mindfulness and EMDR therapists
2) Regarding the bowel issues of constipation & impacted stool- I agree Miralax is pretty good as a laxative and stool softener. Miralax can help relieve some constipation in the bowels. Also helpful is doing slow, deep tummy massage (clockwise encourages BM, counter slows BM). And enemas(particularly 'high volume enemas') while not necessarily the most pleasant thing, are great preventative measure and means of cleansing out very hard impacted stool
3) In terms of 'discreet protection', it really depends on a few factors:
a) how severe your incontinence/leakage is
b) how long you plan to be wearing it
c) your financial status and how much you can really afford
You can check out some good diaper reviews online. diaperman on youtube (http://www.diaperinfo.com/) has a number of good somewhat helpful reviews. You may also have to experiment to find your own financially sensible, secure level of protection. There are ways of being discreet even when you use the highest level of protection (Dry 24/7) such as wearing a plastic pants to hide odor, sound & leaks.
Hope these tips are helpful and again welcome
Thanks! It is funny that you mention the odd twitching, I get that too sometimes. They said it was stress induced, like if I pushed myself too hard one day, and a warning sign of early dementia. Us TBI veterans are highly susceptible to that particular evil illness.
As for the PTSD, I am in support group that meets twice a month at the VA hospital near me. It is for those of us with what has been classified as severe combat related PTSD. All of us in my group tried the evidence based treatment modalities and found them lacking for us, so they formed us our own group. We are all Vietnam or Iraq vets, something about asymmetrical warfare means more cases of PTSD, it just messes with your head I guess. Once my schedule solidifies I will be signed up for a relaxation class too through the group I am in in the mental health clinic. Apparently if you have certain skill sets, I was a SDM (squad designated marksman), they get antsy about you attending your therapies..... Don't want anyone climbing into another bell tower. Oh, I will try out that site though!! Might even pass it along to my group at the VA!
Oh, and thank you for that the information for my sons bowel issues. I will ask his pediatrician about that when we meet with her next month. She can show us those massage techniques you mention.
Now, as for the discreet protection.... part of it is I am paranoid about discovery. I realize in most cases people wont notice, but I am the primary caregiver for my youngest. I take him to all of his therapies and such, so I am around other parents (moms mostly) who might notice as they are attuned to it. I bug the hell out of my wife about if she can tell, I think if I ask her again she might plot my death. I realize they'd like not attribute it to me, or care if they did, but I still worry about it. I obviously need a reasonably priced diaper, but other than that I haven't figured out what that means budget wise. After my brain injury my wife took over the finances so she manages the budget. I just don't spend without permission, works better that way!
As for the plastic pants, the elastic hurts my legs so I don't wear them. I use boxer briefs to hold the diaper up at the moment.
Re: It was a blast!
Tue Sep 08, 2015 10:54 pm
Welcome to the group Porkchop. I too am a Vet, but was never in country. I had a friend though come back from over there who was in an IED explosion and when they finally figured it out his skull had spider cracks all in it and they had to cut a hole in his skull to relieve pressure. Plus, replace his hip. I can not even imagine what you have had to go through seeing what he has gone through.
As for the VA, I would recommend contacting Johnstone on this forum. He has had to deal with the VA and has been able to get quality diapers. He might be able to help you. As for me, I have tried various meds and I just went back to them with the philosophy of what is worst, the side effects of the meds or me having accidents and having to change. Some of the meds made me a zombie. Mine incontinence was caused by a mini stroke which led to a neurogenic bladder (at least that is what they say it is from) sometimes I make it to the toilet and other times I don't. I was given this link awhile back and share it with other Vets that come in here. http://www1.va.gov/nac/index.cfm?action ... rg_Catalog Through this site I have been able to find diapers the VA offers and send a request to the company for samples and if they worked well, I would ask my doc to change to it. Nice thing is my main doctor prescribes them and I don't have to ask the urology doc. I believe you should be getting yearly follow ups, as mine is coming this Friday. I am sure when I mention I have been averaging 3 vice 2 leaks a day they will want to do more test, which I am not sure I want to put myself through that again. Anyways I feel like I am rambling now. After 3 years of wearing some sort of protection, I have just come to accept this is my life now and continue on the best I can.
Thanks for doing what you have done and good luck to you. This is an excellent group to get answers and advice from. They have helped my immensely figure this new life style out.
As for the VA, I would recommend contacting Johnstone on this forum. He has had to deal with the VA and has been able to get quality diapers. He might be able to help you. As for me, I have tried various meds and I just went back to them with the philosophy of what is worst, the side effects of the meds or me having accidents and having to change. Some of the meds made me a zombie. Mine incontinence was caused by a mini stroke which led to a neurogenic bladder (at least that is what they say it is from) sometimes I make it to the toilet and other times I don't. I was given this link awhile back and share it with other Vets that come in here. http://www1.va.gov/nac/index.cfm?action ... rg_Catalog Through this site I have been able to find diapers the VA offers and send a request to the company for samples and if they worked well, I would ask my doc to change to it. Nice thing is my main doctor prescribes them and I don't have to ask the urology doc. I believe you should be getting yearly follow ups, as mine is coming this Friday. I am sure when I mention I have been averaging 3 vice 2 leaks a day they will want to do more test, which I am not sure I want to put myself through that again. Anyways I feel like I am rambling now. After 3 years of wearing some sort of protection, I have just come to accept this is my life now and continue on the best I can.
Thanks for doing what you have done and good luck to you. This is an excellent group to get answers and advice from. They have helped my immensely figure this new life style out.
Re: It was a blast!
Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:58 am
batman381327 wrote:http://www1.va.gov/nac/index.cfm?action ... rg_Catalog
Thanks for the warm welcome! And yes, JohnStone already reached out to me. I have to talk to my doctors, as they told me to 'manage' it rather than prescribe diapers. Maybe I will just bluntly ask for the script, though that feels odd to me. I am sorry to hear about your friend, head trauma is no joke. It has been the signature wound of our little adventure in paradise, the TBI. I too went through the gammit of meds, but they either didn't work AND had side effects or the side effects were worse than the pills. Doctors, however, seem set on a pill as the be all, end all, solution to every medical problem. It is a simple formula: tell veteran s/he should loose weight, tell veteran s/he should take a pill, tell veteran it is all in their head. One of three answers to tell you, in medical terminology, to frakk off because you might make them commit to a medical opinion. As for the link you gave, it didn't lead to any searchable site. It required you to know item numbers etc to search their system? Thanks for trying though!
Re: It was a blast!
Wed Sep 09, 2015 3:17 am
Hi Porkchop (Seriously i love that name) lol
War is indeed a very traumatizing experience for everyone involved.
Unfortunately mental healthcare and urology are...lacking fields of medicine to say the least
And unfortunately many therapies don't necessarily work well for everyone.
But in my journey I learned a number of tricks I found to be more helpful aside from herbal remedies, teas, and
Cymbalta (God this med was pretty helpful) - especially the concept of mindfulness.
You can speak with your therapist for more details. Basically mindfulness refers to "being present in the moment- not in the past and not in the future".
Instead of being overly critical, you merely kind of observe and 'gently focus' on what's around you. It is kind of Daoist concept- and reminds me of
my kung fu classes when I was little. Always stay in the present moment- focusing and observing yourself, your opponent and surroundings. If you focus on the past or the unhappened future then you will miss your target
Though mindfulness by itself didn't "cure my PTSD", it definitely was and is a tool I can use
to help me decrease my heightened anxieties and fears. Also it kinda lets me better accept my incont. and condition instead of feeling frustration, regret,
anxiety and intense fear. Most days I listen to this guided meditation I came across online (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFeeFHOQ64E), especially when I have panic attacks or increased fear & anxiety- this helps refocus my mind
The tummy/abdomen massage I found online while researching my litany of health pains & problems https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBdWbYakqGo
Basically the massage helps to supplement the peristalsis- your digestive process
As for 'discreet diapers', I recommend a good pair of plastic pants and a onesie. Plastic pants as i mentioned above can cover up any odors, small leaks and sounds of your diapers. The onesie keeps everything in place. This also prevents diaper sag and any unwanted rising of your shirt. In addition, a good onesie really helps slimline your figure.
I found this combination give a lot of flexibility in range of protection and am able to somewhat wear louder and thicker diapers under clothing when need to- even at work.
Personally I mostly wear the Northshore Supremes - they are very high capacity. Although they are plastic backed, they are very quiet. If you need something thinner, you can also check out the Northshore lites which is a thinner version of the Northshore Supremes (http://www.northshorecare.com). The Northshore supreme are a little bit pricey. But if you use the discount codes from incontinentsupport you can save 10% off. They are cheaper than the Dry 24/7 diapers but comparable to them in quality and performance.
I have heard great things about the Gary Activewear PUL Plastic pants. I myself like the PUL pants made by Kins and ordered them from Changingtimes. http://changingtimesdiaperco.com/
(The PUL pants Changingtimes sell are actually made by Kins. Kins also has great onesies but shipping outside of Canada is pricey and unfortunately havent found a reseller more local in the US.)
As for the onesie, mslorainex on ebay makes fabulous 'wear to work' onesies. http://www.ebay.com/usr/mslorainex?_trk ... 2749.l2754
The onesies are a bit expensive but definitely worth it in saving me from any worry about bending over, sags, diaper showing etc. And they are pretty comfortable
Sorry I was rambling a bit. Hope this is helpful to you.
War is indeed a very traumatizing experience for everyone involved.
Unfortunately mental healthcare and urology are...lacking fields of medicine to say the least
And unfortunately many therapies don't necessarily work well for everyone.
But in my journey I learned a number of tricks I found to be more helpful aside from herbal remedies, teas, and
Cymbalta (God this med was pretty helpful) - especially the concept of mindfulness.
You can speak with your therapist for more details. Basically mindfulness refers to "being present in the moment- not in the past and not in the future".
Instead of being overly critical, you merely kind of observe and 'gently focus' on what's around you. It is kind of Daoist concept- and reminds me of
my kung fu classes when I was little. Always stay in the present moment- focusing and observing yourself, your opponent and surroundings. If you focus on the past or the unhappened future then you will miss your target
Though mindfulness by itself didn't "cure my PTSD", it definitely was and is a tool I can use
to help me decrease my heightened anxieties and fears. Also it kinda lets me better accept my incont. and condition instead of feeling frustration, regret,
anxiety and intense fear. Most days I listen to this guided meditation I came across online (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFeeFHOQ64E), especially when I have panic attacks or increased fear & anxiety- this helps refocus my mind
The tummy/abdomen massage I found online while researching my litany of health pains & problems https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBdWbYakqGo
Basically the massage helps to supplement the peristalsis- your digestive process
As for 'discreet diapers', I recommend a good pair of plastic pants and a onesie. Plastic pants as i mentioned above can cover up any odors, small leaks and sounds of your diapers. The onesie keeps everything in place. This also prevents diaper sag and any unwanted rising of your shirt. In addition, a good onesie really helps slimline your figure.
I found this combination give a lot of flexibility in range of protection and am able to somewhat wear louder and thicker diapers under clothing when need to- even at work.
Personally I mostly wear the Northshore Supremes - they are very high capacity. Although they are plastic backed, they are very quiet. If you need something thinner, you can also check out the Northshore lites which is a thinner version of the Northshore Supremes (http://www.northshorecare.com). The Northshore supreme are a little bit pricey. But if you use the discount codes from incontinentsupport you can save 10% off. They are cheaper than the Dry 24/7 diapers but comparable to them in quality and performance.
I have heard great things about the Gary Activewear PUL Plastic pants. I myself like the PUL pants made by Kins and ordered them from Changingtimes. http://changingtimesdiaperco.com/
(The PUL pants Changingtimes sell are actually made by Kins. Kins also has great onesies but shipping outside of Canada is pricey and unfortunately havent found a reseller more local in the US.)
As for the onesie, mslorainex on ebay makes fabulous 'wear to work' onesies. http://www.ebay.com/usr/mslorainex?_trk ... 2749.l2754
The onesies are a bit expensive but definitely worth it in saving me from any worry about bending over, sags, diaper showing etc. And they are pretty comfortable
Sorry I was rambling a bit. Hope this is helpful to you.
Re: It was a blast!
Wed Sep 09, 2015 12:56 pm
KDLSTAR,
Thanks for that long letter offering advice!! I looked around and saw the sites you mentioned. I sent a letter to Northshore asking about ordering a sample of their product, so we will see if that works for me. I currently only wear boxer briefs over my diaper, because it is too hot here in Hampton Roads, VA to wear layers like that. I might try a ones during the fall and winter which is fast approaching, but whatever I do I would need to buy supplies slowly as the initial outlay of supplies is frightening. I looked at the Ms Lora seller on eBay but her sizes seemed to stop before they reached what I would need. Plus, it looks like she just makes an ad hoc adjustment to existing clothes, rather than making specially designed incontinent stuff. As for her sizing, well it didn't look like it would work for me. When I first hurt my knee in Iraq they gave us tons of Cortisol to keep us in the field, accidently kept it up once I was home, and subsequently I put on too much weight. At my worse I was up to 320 pounds, way too much for my 5'9" frame. I am currently slowly loosing weight, I am down to 309, but it is slow to leave me because I can't be as active as I would like. My current goal is 290 by Christmas, so go Michael, go!!! Sigh, I used to be able to eat or drink whatever I wanted and never gain an ounce, the benefit of the infantry life. Now smelling food adds twenty pounds!
As for the PTSD therapy, yeah it does seem like they are figuring things out as they go along. The issue is that so many of the Iraq Vets with PTSD also have TBI, so the therapy modality needs to account for that. The big one the VA loves is the CPT (Cognitive Processing Therapy) which is attempting to switch how your synapses react to certain triggers, basically training you to think differently about the issue. It works for a lot of people, but if your brain is damaged, how do you reconnect to broken synapses? They haven't figured that one out yet, so it isn't working for too many veterans of the late unpleasantness in Mesopotamia. Luckily the processing groups DO work for me, which are sort of like the AA groups you see on TV. We sit around in a circle and help each other and keep each other honest. Mostly we focus on none of us being one of the 23, which is super important. (FYI: Every day 23 combat veterans kill themselves because living with the consequences is a bitch)
If I am reading what you wrote right, you recommend alternative lifestyle ways to dealing the PTSD, rather than the common run of drugs. Towards that vain I am looking into a chair yoga class at the local YMCA to help me keep calm. You also recommend a onesie to hold the diaper in place and keep the waist from peeking over the top. I will need to find a good affordable supplier for these, and order them slowly. Finally, you recommend plastic pants to wear over them to keep the leaks and odor down, but the plastic pants I've tried in the past irritated my skin. Would a onesie be enough or should I still wear the boxer briefs with it to help?
Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful answer!!
Thanks for that long letter offering advice!! I looked around and saw the sites you mentioned. I sent a letter to Northshore asking about ordering a sample of their product, so we will see if that works for me. I currently only wear boxer briefs over my diaper, because it is too hot here in Hampton Roads, VA to wear layers like that. I might try a ones during the fall and winter which is fast approaching, but whatever I do I would need to buy supplies slowly as the initial outlay of supplies is frightening. I looked at the Ms Lora seller on eBay but her sizes seemed to stop before they reached what I would need. Plus, it looks like she just makes an ad hoc adjustment to existing clothes, rather than making specially designed incontinent stuff. As for her sizing, well it didn't look like it would work for me. When I first hurt my knee in Iraq they gave us tons of Cortisol to keep us in the field, accidently kept it up once I was home, and subsequently I put on too much weight. At my worse I was up to 320 pounds, way too much for my 5'9" frame. I am currently slowly loosing weight, I am down to 309, but it is slow to leave me because I can't be as active as I would like. My current goal is 290 by Christmas, so go Michael, go!!! Sigh, I used to be able to eat or drink whatever I wanted and never gain an ounce, the benefit of the infantry life. Now smelling food adds twenty pounds!
As for the PTSD therapy, yeah it does seem like they are figuring things out as they go along. The issue is that so many of the Iraq Vets with PTSD also have TBI, so the therapy modality needs to account for that. The big one the VA loves is the CPT (Cognitive Processing Therapy) which is attempting to switch how your synapses react to certain triggers, basically training you to think differently about the issue. It works for a lot of people, but if your brain is damaged, how do you reconnect to broken synapses? They haven't figured that one out yet, so it isn't working for too many veterans of the late unpleasantness in Mesopotamia. Luckily the processing groups DO work for me, which are sort of like the AA groups you see on TV. We sit around in a circle and help each other and keep each other honest. Mostly we focus on none of us being one of the 23, which is super important. (FYI: Every day 23 combat veterans kill themselves because living with the consequences is a bitch)
If I am reading what you wrote right, you recommend alternative lifestyle ways to dealing the PTSD, rather than the common run of drugs. Towards that vain I am looking into a chair yoga class at the local YMCA to help me keep calm. You also recommend a onesie to hold the diaper in place and keep the waist from peeking over the top. I will need to find a good affordable supplier for these, and order them slowly. Finally, you recommend plastic pants to wear over them to keep the leaks and odor down, but the plastic pants I've tried in the past irritated my skin. Would a onesie be enough or should I still wear the boxer briefs with it to help?
Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful answer!!
Re: It was a blast!
Wed Sep 09, 2015 3:01 pm
Well, since I have commented to you a couple of times I will now also add my welcome. The one thing you mentioned hit with me and that was the Amitriptyline you are taking. I am on that as well for PCD (Post Concussive Disorder) and to help control the frequent migraines that come with that. I am glad for you that they ruled that out as a cause. I can say I had troubles before being put on it and it has not changed anything. At most I can say is when I am having a bad day brain wise, I tend to have a bad day incon wise as well. I'm not sure what this is all about really and have not been able to get good answers from anyone about it.
I know you are still trying out different diapers to see what fits best for you. And truely it is what will work best for you not anyone else. I can say that you can normally get samples from different companies online for cheap or free depending on the company. Try them all and see what works best. I have been through just about every one so if you need help finding retailers, just pm me and I'll send you a list.
You also mentioned the fear of being found out. The best advice given here has been to not worry about it as most people you run into have much more on their own minds to worry about you and if you are wearing a diaper. The reality is that most people don't go around wondering if someone is wearing diapers.
Good luck with everything and as I echo everyone else, Thank You for your service to our country and our freedom. Freedom isn't free!
I know you are still trying out different diapers to see what fits best for you. And truely it is what will work best for you not anyone else. I can say that you can normally get samples from different companies online for cheap or free depending on the company. Try them all and see what works best. I have been through just about every one so if you need help finding retailers, just pm me and I'll send you a list.
You also mentioned the fear of being found out. The best advice given here has been to not worry about it as most people you run into have much more on their own minds to worry about you and if you are wearing a diaper. The reality is that most people don't go around wondering if someone is wearing diapers.
Good luck with everything and as I echo everyone else, Thank You for your service to our country and our freedom. Freedom isn't free!
Re: It was a blast!
Wed Sep 09, 2015 9:29 pm
msshendo wrote:Freedom isn't free!
MsShendo,
Thank you for the warm welcome!! I guess I should thank you and all the others for their service as well!
And no, freedom isn't free.... I lost too many friends along the way to ever make that ignorant assumption. And, I am working on the paranoia because the dehydrating had started to cause internal damage so my window to be a putz has come and gone. As for the Amitriptyline, it was prescribed by my neurologist to treat the headaches, migraines, dizziness and sleep issues caused by my TBI. I sort of consider it a miracle drug to be honest! 
I think, at this point I am satisfied with the Dry 24/7s for night use but I am searching something for daytime that I would be able to effectively self administer. I am waiting on a sample from Northshore, so that might be it!
Re: It was a blast!
Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:51 pm
Porkchop
I almost forgot about this site which makes incontinence wear including onesies. Www.preventawear.com
I am not familiar with the quality of their products but they seem well made
I almost forgot about this site which makes incontinence wear including onesies. Www.preventawear.com
I am not familiar with the quality of their products but they seem well made
Re: It was a blast!
Wed Sep 16, 2015 4:15 pm
Porkchop,
You have a lot of fellow vets here who support you. I am a two-tour Vietnam veteran. My track was blown up by an IED (rigged 8" artillery shell) but I was very lucky to get out of the situation with only minor injuries.
For discreet wear, I will repeat kidlstar's recommendation about wearing a onesie with plastic pants. My "plastic" pants are Garywear Active PUL pants - they are great. They are both cooler and quieter than most vinyl plastic pants. The other thing I do if I do not want to wear a onesie is to wear sports compression pants. They not only support the diaper but do a great job of smoothing out the bulges and lines.
--John
You have a lot of fellow vets here who support you. I am a two-tour Vietnam veteran. My track was blown up by an IED (rigged 8" artillery shell) but I was very lucky to get out of the situation with only minor injuries.
For discreet wear, I will repeat kidlstar's recommendation about wearing a onesie with plastic pants. My "plastic" pants are Garywear Active PUL pants - they are great. They are both cooler and quieter than most vinyl plastic pants. The other thing I do if I do not want to wear a onesie is to wear sports compression pants. They not only support the diaper but do a great job of smoothing out the bulges and lines.
--John
Re: It was a blast!
Wed Sep 16, 2015 10:25 pm
JDinVirginia wrote:Porkchop,
You have a lot of fellow vets here who support you. I am a two-tour Vietnam veteran. My track was blown up by an IED (rigged 8" artillery shell) but I was very lucky to get out of the situation with only minor injuries.
For discreet wear, I will repeat kidlstar's recommendation about wearing a onesie with plastic pants. My "plastic" pants are Garywear Active PUL pants - they are great. They are both cooler and quieter than most vinyl plastic pants. The other thing I do if I do not want to wear a onesie is to wear sports compression pants. They not only support the diaper but do a great job of smoothing out the bulges and lines.
--John
Thank you John, I appreciate the support. Sadly, it seems insurgent fighters use the same tactics over and over again no matter how warfare technology evolves. They estimate I suffered over 24 concussions from IED's while I was over there on my second tour. Luckily, my first tour in Iraq was boring and uneventful. Sadly, my second one was not.
As for your advice, I tried and liked the onesie idea but they are just so hot in the summer that it wasn't working for me. I use the heck out of them in the winter, and noticed the difference. For the summer I just wore boxer briefs over the diaper and worked... mostly. I will look into PUL pants when the wallet allows for the experimentation.