www.incontinentsupport.org

I was watching TV with the family last night and the kids wanted to watch something on Nickelodeon so we did. The cartoon had two characters and they wanted to get the benefits of senior discounts and disguises themselves as older people to get them. Once with a group of older people, the people reveal how great it was to be old. At this point they went on an entire segment on adult diapers.
Of course it was a cartoon and totally over the top but it bothered me. First to feel like it was OK to be the brunt of a joke and have people laugh and make fun of something I have to live with. Then it really got me to thinking. Adult diaper jokes are made because to some extent, it is true. The stereotypes of incontinent people are weak and feable and to some degree disgusting because they can not control their own bodies waste.
But to make fun of this is no different then to call someone "retarded" which is also insensitive because it is degrading to the mentality disabled community. But because we don't have a personal interest or stake with these topics, it never dawns on us that what we are saying and laughing at could be hurtful to someone else.
I guess basically what I am trying to say is becoming incontinent and having to deal with all aspects of it has made me much more sensitive to others about what I say and where and also teaching me I need to be open to the fact that people will always say things that may be offensive to someone else and I need to look past the comment and look at the context to see if I need to be offended.
So my question is, do others get upset or at least a little rattled when you hear or read a mocking of incontince?

I suppose it's all about how tough one's skin is and how much one can smile inside without showing it.

I started with all this incontinence thing when I was 34 and ended up in a wheelchair shortly afterwards. now one of the things that has to be remembered is my capacity for drinking. I had a 600ml leg bag originally (and bigger ones later) which held rather more than the stated amount. So for any 'jokes' people made about incontinence and the like, the more I could smile as they had to keep going to the loo whilst I might, even at that moment, draining into my leg bag!

Of course, the wheelchair is a game changer in that people expect one to be dumb, stupid and incapable so anything one does more than that sort of shocks them. So I suppose they maybe expect that one has drainage problems... if they even think.

So I think it is all about being amused at other people but keeping quiet about the amusement. Anyone in a cinema knows that the non-incontinent seem to have to go to the loo at least once during a film whereas a person with drainage or a nappy (whoops, sorry. diaper) on can just sit and enjoy the film. Just think, if the people making the jokes don't know that one is 'plumbed' they won't see the fun you have watching them head of to the loo and might even be impressed with one's staying power!

It bothers me that cartoon writers and Nikelodeon are feeding kids, especially young kids, the concept that it isn't just okay, but a good thing to lie and cheat to get something they want, and the message of cruelty and insensitivity puts their garbage way over the top. Thanks, Nikelodeon for helping to create a society of losers.

Wetters

Hey Rope,
I guess it all "depends" on where I am......if I'm in the firehouse I have a thick skin. Of course damn few guys know about it in the volunteer house and None in the paid department know about the extent of my problems.....of course there's always jokes in a firehouse.......most of them distasteful......I let it roll off.....they don't know.....
At home with my wife, I'm very cognizant of the fact that things are different than when we first got married/started dating etc....I'm very self conscious of the way she sees me as a man and a husband......I have had a few times where I tell her something upsets me and she sees just how sensitive I am about things even though I do my best not to let it bother me, at least to the outward appearance. It has definitely changed something in my head......she's made comments about me being super sensitive.......I don't like it.....

I see and hear some of the jokes, comments and whatnot on TV and on the internet and can't help but to be bothered just a little bit.
But maybe this will pass as I deal with my own problems.




∆∆∆∆∆∆ ThisI tend to find more disturbing. But I do not want to get into a discussion about moral decay...

Scott

If you you really want to see how insensitive people can be, go to Depend's Facebook page and look at some of their post with a lot of comments. Incontinence is nothing more then a punchline to many many people.
What makes it more distasteful is the fact they are saying it somewhere that someone that need protection can and will see it.

ScottK, just to be clear, I didn't ask you for a Papal audience to discuss moral decay. I was merely stating my opinion and concerns, which I think I'm allowed to do anywhere at any time on the ground here in the U.S. - so long as I'm not trashing anyone for their religious or ethnic beliefs and traditions. Do you have evidence to the contrary? If so, please let me know, because I don't like to live my life with misconceptions.

Wetters

Waaooo Wetters. I think Scott was agreeing with you and the problem being networks programing this insensitivity.

That's how I read it, too, Rope.
TV and movies are really starting to get to where I wont even watch them, as they tend to try to desensitize anyone and everyone, just to get ratings.

If I had a kid, he'd not be able to watch TV or movies until the age of 30....

_________________
Hello, my name is Scott, and physically, I am 40 years old. However, thanks to abuse, and being special needs, mentally and emotionally, I am equal to about 6-10 years old.

Whoa.. Sorry did not mean to offend. And I do agree with you. There is real garbage on TV. There are many shows that my wife and I would not let our kids watch because of the smart a** remarks, the talking back to figures of authority. The general lack of respect and trying to pass it off as "funny". And I agree with others, the depend board is a cesspool.
But again, I am sorry my remarks were taken wrong and I do apologize to you.

ScottK