PB&J32,
This thread totally caught my attention because I have been dealing with very similar (almost exact!) symptoms for some time now. I too struggle with the label "incontinent" because for me, I am able to hold it as well. I usually don't have to many problems making it to the bathroom either. It's just that I feel like I live in the bathroom because I am going all the time. And without fail, I leak majorly after voiding. It really was a wake up call for me about a year ago when I was in a public social setting having fun and had to run to the bathroom to make it on time. Fortunately I made it, but when I walked out, I noticed people looking at me funny and kind of snickering. Turns out the
entire front of my pants was wet. It looked like I had a full on accident. I was mortified to say the least, and after that, finally admitted that my symptoms were not normal for a 30 year old.
In terms of urgency, I can understand that too. I find if I don't have anything to drink all day, and totally dehydrate myself, I urinate the "normal" amount. Say 5-7 times within a 12 hour period. This leaves me totally dehydrated, out of energy, headaches, etc... If I drink ANYTHING during the day, I'm right there with you 15+ times per day. Drives me crazy. Its so inconvenient and embarrassing. It certainly seems to come in waves (some days/weeks are better than others)... and is often made worse my work stress.
Like many on this board, I've found that using protection (pads, diapers, whatever you want to call it), makes life so much easier. So much less stress. I haven't tried any medication yet, because I've heard the side effects aren't too fun either. Although it was not easy to finally admit to myself in the beginning, I'm getting more and more comfortable with using protection. Fortunately, my wife is wonderfully supportive and doesn't even really pay much attention to the diapers. She'll ask about it occasionally in a supportive kind of way, and we even kind of have funny jokes between the two of us about it. Sometimes a little sense of humor about it all kind of takes my mind off it. But overall, I've found if I don't make it a big deal... and just put on a diaper and get on with my life... it makes it much easier for everyone

Best of luck to you!