www.incontinentsupport.org

Sandy, I wasn't trying to cause a AB/DL war. I was only trying to soften the idea that AB/DLs are involved in some kind of criminal behavior, which they aren't. I agree with Papa that being incontinent is a way of life, not a behavior. The only time I look forward to putting on a diaper is when I've been out and need to put on a dry one. I think that having a positive attitude about our form of underwear helps make it easier to get up in the morning. I remember many a gloomy day when I feared leaving my bathroom, let alone leave the house. So I'm only trying to say that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade (I'm not trying to make a urine analogy here ). If someone thinks that feeling positive about diapers makes one a DL, so be it. I wish I didn't need to deal with lemons at all, but I don't have any choice. Remember back if you can when you first realized that you needed to wear diapers. That was not a great day. It took me many years of emotional pain before I figured out that it was pointless to feel bad about diapers. I'm only trying to help newbies on this website that may have made that realization today. Reading that life does go on even when wearing diapers would have saved me all those years of pain, maybe not at first, but I think much quicker than it took me. I really don't care what people think of me, here or the general public. I wear diapers and I'm glad that diapers can help me live a normal life. If my saying that helps a newbie, that's all I'm trying to say. Nothing will change my attitude now, but I believe there are those out there that still feel shame in needing to find protection. There is no shame in dealing with medical issues. We don't think twice when we see people wearing glasses or hearing aids, why should diapers have such a taboo? I'd like to wish that taboo away forever. It took me years to get past it myself, so if I can save others that pain, then I'm happy. OK?

Dan. You make many good points. We all know the "Taboo" and why it is there, taboo may be a strong word for it but it comes close. I still believe that no matter how "well adjusted" one gets with incontinence there is still an undercurent that is always there. Maybe anger or embarasment, frustration or rage, but it is there. I have friends who lost limbs in Vietnam and though it has been 40+ years and they have "adjusted" (most) to the loss I can still see the anger or frustration at times. I must also say the PTSD is part of it but not all. They came home learned to live a different way and "went on" with their lives. I was more accepting of wearing diapers in the begining (cancer surgery) because it was "just for 3-6 months" which turned into a year then 2 now 8. No matter how normal a life I am living incontinence still disrupts it, and controls it and that angers me. Not all day everyday but certainly some days. Pulling into the garage and getting out of my truck to find I have leaked through, even though only I know, is depressing and angers me. I am not one who shares my problems with others, the oposite is true I help others. I believe I and many others here who go about a normal life still have some rage deep within. Yes one can live with incontintnce, but it is still an added burden. Papa

"urine analogy" NICE ONE ...................................Sandy

Hi everybody!
Reading old posts I arrived to this one and I see it´s been quite succesful! But last post was a long time ago. As I joined recently the comunity and I think it´s an interesting theme I wanted to comment the other posts and also give my oppinion.

First of all, I don´ t consider myself a D/L at all ( neither AB) and for those whom do´nt now about me I´ll repeat I´m incontinent due to spinal injury L4 and bedwetter until 16. I can understand the feelings of some of us about them can be a bit "unpleasant" and think they´re perverted, in fact I do think some of them are, but not all of them. I deeply despect those who act as they were incontinent just to contact with real incontinent people lying just for their self-excitation and the ones who interfer in our support pages saying things without any sense or respect. I also add that I think it´s their fault that here in Spain or south America it´s so difficult to find sites serious like this one to share and support ourselves with our experience. And I´m sure even here there´s some of those (like the ones that join the web one day and never return). But I´ll say again that´s not all their community, some of them are smart clever and respectful, and who don´t treat us just like sexual objects, do you know what I mean? I know it because before joining ISC during my french work I logged in a french site where everybody is welcome and in the profile you specify if you use diaper for need or pleasure. I did it searching diapers information but I met some persons that made me have the opened image of (some) D/Ls I´ve got.

Second, I´d like to put an example. My last fiancee (she´s disabled too) met me in a disabled contact site from Spain. Well, I don´t know if you´re aware there exist also "disabled lovers" called devotees? And there they´re accepted (if they´re not perverted dumbs and respect the rules and the other members) with no kind of distrust (if they prove they´re just normal, and don´t behave weird). If between disabled it´s thus, I don´t know why it couldn´t be this way between us too?! Always showing a complete empathy and respect, of course and I´ll be always againist the ones who don´t follow strictly the rules for sure! But I hope you understand what I mean, you don´t have to think like me it´s just how I think after my own experiences.

Third: as I bedwetted until 16, my sexual awakening happened when I was 14. It was a night and I was diapered when it happened. Being clear my first orgasm was with a wet diaper on me. I explained when I introduced myself that bedwetting had been important to my later incontinence self-accepting, because in someway it made me see and realize there were adult persons with no external signal that had it, but at the same time when you are young it´s not that easy, but by then I started to be opened with my situation and not to live hiding everytime even of your own friends. When I had the spine accident and after recovering mobility I decided that diapers wasn´t gonna change my life. Past tomorrow it´ll be ten years since then, and i´ve had serious relations with women, and one night relations, and haven´t been rejected (yet but I know could happen anytime) and, with my serious relations I always made some kind of game with the diapers during sex, and of course i´ve been changed by them when needed (Pooped and far from home) and with naturality, i´m conscious that diapers are going to be included in anything related to sex until the day I pass away, and what? I can´t be ashamed for all life time!! And that sometimes I play with my girlfriend does´nt make me D/L!! I´m just asuming what I am and trying to live with the less feeling of shame or low self esteem, and that includes not to feel bad for recognising sometimes it´s even comfortable or advantageous to wear a diaper, or play with it with the person you love more, or...whatever!! And I had no relations with any D/L girl, but I think because I haven´t met any personally. If I had the opprtunity, why not? I don´t discriminate them if they hsow me they are just...weird sexual fetishes, and not psychos.

Ouf! I´ve been long! I gotta leave now, Hope you read and tell me what you think (what you told before in this post not necessary I´ve readen all) and sorry to renew this old topic but it´s interesting to me and I wanted to say my thinking at least and open myself too. Because really it´s first time I say some things to anyone, Hope you appreciate it. I´ve been totally honest.

Best regards and salutations from eastern Spain. Hasta pronto!!

Duque

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CARPE DIEM ET QUAM MINIMUM CREDULA POSTERO

I get you duque, but even with the "respectful" DLs, they have their own places to congregate.

As popular as the fetish sites seem to be, and as few people as post here, I think we would get swamped out. This place would lose its integrity as a support group.

Well stated, MSUSpartan - I completely agree.

Wetters

Possibly you are right, you have more experience than I do here and I just exposed my opinion. Anyway, if you could give me those links you refered I´d thank you very much. I´m conscious that a D/L site isn´t the best place for us to be or search for anything, but as I told my expereinces weren´t so bad but I know there´s a lot of assholes in there too. Thanks for answering and I wait for the links ok? Bye!

Duque

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CARPE DIEM ET QUAM MINIMUM CREDULA POSTERO

When I first became incontinent, I was in a state of shock. During the day I was paranoid about locating every public toilet on my usual haunts, and got myself up 3-5 times every night for fear of wetting the bed. I was sure everybody could see, and that my employment was threatened as never before. In my flailing about I chanced onto a couple from another state, who through correspondence patiently taught me the skills I would need to manage my incontinence. Only later did I learn that they were proudly AB/DL. When they discovered that I was medically incontinent, that I was enduring Botox shots into my urinary sphincter and had been told that, if the Botox failed, a sphincterotomy would become necessary to protect my kidneys, and that managing my incontinence was not fun-and-games for me, we mutually broke off our relationship. Nevertheless, I am indebted to them; they led me to the sites (AngelFluff, Adult Cloth Diaper, etc.,) that I still use regularly. They taught me the necessity of cleanliness. I did not realize, until too late, that cleanliness means something entirely different for an incontinent than it means for a continent individual. Such management skill as I have I owe to them, even if I did not join their hobby club.

I don't have any specific links to share. I simply meant that I have encountered many of those sites when looking for information of specific brands of diapers.

It seems to me that the DL sites outnumber the sites like this by a significant margin, or at least that their participation levels must be much higher as they return many more results from a typical search query.

I have not wanted to post to this thread because my views on the AB and DL community are still pretty strong. the reason for this is I am still fairly new to this world(only about 3 years of needing a diaper for protection).
I can just about echo what Patrick said how in the beginning he felt and the struggles he delt with as far as work, family day to day management and the constent worry about hiding this and what if people found out.
I think the best way to answer the main question of the tread is to ask ones self, If someone had a magic wand and cured you of your incontinence, would you even entertain the idea of wearing a diaper for any reason? if the answer is yes, then I would say you are a DL. if not, then I would say it would be more of trying to make lemonaid out of lemons type thing.
So, if you really want to know the amswer to that question, ask yourself that.
For me, I don't even think it is nessesary for me to say what i think.