www.incontinentsupport.org

I'm urinary incontinent and wear diapers anytime I'm out of the house and to bed. I'm going to have some minor surgery and won't be able to change myself for a couple of weeks or so. My wife is supportive, but can't even stand to see me in a diaper, let alone change me, and to be honest the thought doesn't thrill me either. I called a couple of visiting nurse places and they each had a minimum visit length which would cost me about $40 for a diaper change. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do?

Thanks,
SeattleTown

Wow, that is a tough place to be in, any "other" family that could step in to assist, that know of your problem? or try to convince the wife to just take it for waht it is and help you out... that is my fear, getting ill and needing assistance with "it all"... hope it works out for you, Puffy

Hmm I don't know the full situation, but that doesn't sound like she's "supportive".

If you are in a position where you can't take care of yourself for a while, one would hope she would get over her issues of seeing you wearing protection and help out.

Barring that you could talk with her and see if she's OK with a CNA helping out for a couple weeks. If she is, post an ad on a site like Craigslist asking for a licensed nursing assistant to help and see what kind of price quotes you get. There are a lot of people unemployed who might be willing to help you out for a fair price. I would of course make sure they are accredited and outline the care you are seeking up front.

-Darin

Seattletown,
I do not want to say anything bad about your wife, but you both took a vow to support each other in sickness and health as you were married. She needs to swallow her pride and realize you neeed help with your needs. I'm sure you would help her out if she needed some special care.
Again, I'm not trying to put your wife down, but she, not an outsider, needs to step in here and help you out. It's only temporary. My wife really dislikes me having to wear a diaper, but she knows I have no choice. She has helped me change my diaper when I had some surgery that prevented me from doing it myself.
If she still refuses, you could ask your doctor to put a foley catheter in you. But that comes with risk too, like infections.

Good luck!! ......Paul Martin

I agree with Paul and Darin on this one. Either talk with your wife and help her overcome her issues, or get a foley. If you will be bed ridden diapers may still be the best option when your bowels start working again. I would rather deal with diapers then a messy bed.

Doug

_________________
When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

Does your insurance company cover visiting nurses or home health? That may be an option if you have insurance. I would ask them. If you don't, I'm kind of with everyone else on this. I think your wife should step up to the plate and help you in your time of need. My wife isn't crazy about my diapers either but guess what, she helps me if I need it. Thats what she's there for. To truly be supportive when I need her.

If your wife can't stand the sight of you in diapers perhaps it's time to rethink your marriage. She doesn't sound like a very supportive spouse.

_________________
~~PuddleGuy