www.incontinentsupport.org

I've been away from the forum for a few years; my last post was back in 2006. I was just reading through some posts catching up and another member mentioned they were restricting fluids. I thought I would log in, re-introduce myself, and ask a question: Has anyone found that your bladder problem caused you cut back on drinking water, perhaps even to the point of losing all sense of thirst?

Dehydration has been such a big struggle with me. Back in 2004 I wrote a few posts about dehydration, and they were included in Chapter 13 of the Diaper Primer (http://www.incontinentsupport.org/chap13.php). In the section titled "KENDAL AND HYDRATION" there are several posts I wrote saying how dangerous dehydration is... it's the #1 cause of cancer, among other things.

"I must confess that with my bladder "activity level" I unconsciously avoid drinking enough water just to keep from constantly having to go to the bathroom, especially when out and about. My dry skin and chapped lips are proof that I am almost always dehydrated."

Nothing has changed. I only drink an average of 16 oz. to 32 oz. of fluids a day -- 32 oz is doing good for me. But I have very little sense of thirst. I can go all day with nothing to drink at all and I won't even be thirsty.

My bladder is on a hair-trigger. It is very painful to hold in, and it doesn't hold much before telling me it has to go. It will "rev up" after I drink fluids, almost like it's supercharged to get empty, and I'll start going, and going, and going, until I'm heading to the bathroom every 5 to 10 minutes. Once I measured my output and it was only 1/32 oz.! It was like a few tablespoons, but it was enough to really cause pain. I have urgency with my bowels, too.

I think that my subconcious has learned that drinking brings pain and wetness, so I don't drink. And I just don't get thirsty. I'll fill a glass with water and it will just sit there; I'll forget to drink it. How do you fight your subconscious???

I wear diapers when I'm out and about. (I must remain close to a bathroom if I am go without one.) One time I was getting ready to go somewhere and put on a diaper. I left the bathroom and suddenly was so thirsty. I went to get a glass of water and on the way a family member pointed out that I had just put on a diaper, and now I was thirsty??? Strange!

I have some questions:

* Has anyone faced a choice of drinking and wearing a diaper, or not drinking and being able to get by without one?

* What can cause a bladder to have severe pain and urgency with only a few tablespoons of urine?

* Could incontinence be considered not only the involuntary loss of urine, but the urgency and pain of a bladder that is technically able to hold in as long as you restrict fluids? Is "incontinence" the loss of urine or the changes in behavior in order to avoid pain?

I have struggled with this for years. Any advice? Thanks!

Kendal

Hi Kendal
I'm one for drinking lots of water. I can't see anything good coming from what your doing. It's not like your peeing a river from what your saying. You say it hurts I feel bad for you really I do. My heart truly goes out to you My advice start drinking lots of water wear good protection and just let it come out if holding back hurts so much. Maybe you can learn to just relax and not hold back Would it help to cath. yourself I'm not big on that but it's a thought.
............................Sandy

Hi, Sandy!

I can't see anything good coming from what your doing. It's not like your peeing a river from what your saying. You say it hurts I feel bad for you really I do. My heart truly goes out to you

You're right, I'm not doing myself any good. Actually, it's really strange. It will sometimes hold in, and then I'll get a sudden urge to go and if I'm not near a bathroom it will demand release. And sometimes just a few spoonfulls -- literally -- and I will have the same urgency as if I had to pee a quart. Sometimes it's ok and not so urgent... but that's usually because I haven't been drinking.

"My advice start drinking lots of water wear good protection and just let it come out if holding back hurts so much. Maybe you can learn to just relax and not hold back"

That's the thing that I think gets to me. There is a certain amount of choice if I'm close to a bathroom. Technically, I can get to the toilet in time. I have to drop whatever I'm doing pretty quickly but I can make it.

I have tried to force myself to drink water. "DRINK WATER" has been on every daily to-do list I've made for years. I just can't tell my brain it's ok to drink.

But if I wear a diaper, I am making what is essentially a *choice.* I've noticed that I can get thirsty when I'm wearing one, and can drink more and like you say, "relax." But I would be choosing to wear - and use - a diaper when the bathroom is right there. I've got a lot of guilt about that.

Thank you for your caring words, Sandy.

Kendal

You don't really say if you normally wear protection or not, or if you are regularly wetting yourself, with or without protection, or not. One thing's for certain: dehydration is unhealthy.

I would wear good protection and accept the consequences. If you have an urge and are near a bathroom and can make it, then do it. If you don't make it, accept that. I assume you're much more experienced at incontinence than a newbie like me, so you know a wet diaper might not be the most pleasant thing in the world, but it does beat wet pants, or the consequences of dehydration.

fred1959 wrote:You don't really say if you normally wear protection or not, or if you are regularly wetting yourself, with or without protection, or not. One thing's for certain: dehydration is unhealthy.

Hi, Fred. If I don't drink much, am at home near the bathroom I usually don't have to wear protection. I don't consciously keep from drinking enough, it's more like I just don't get thirsty. At about 16-20 oz. of water a day I don't have to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes.

Doctors have always said that you're supposed to drink 8 glasses of 8 oz. of water every day, or 64 oz. The most current advice is that it is better to drink half your weight in ounces of water each day, so if you weigh 150 lbs you would drink at least 75 oz. of water. This way the amount of water is proportional to your body weight, not a generic 64 oz. for everyone regardless of body mass. If I was to drink anywhere close to 64 oz -- let alone more -- I would have to wear diapers full-time. My bladder couldn't handle it.

It's making that choice that is getting to me... wearing diapers so I can rehydrate. Or maybe it's not a choice?

Back in my early 20's and a number other years of my childhood I was like you where I would struggle to make it to the bathroom. I didn't have pain to deal with. For me I'd feel a sensation to pee but I'd only have a few min. at best before it would all let lose anyway. My poor husband would get so stressed out worrying about me till one day while out shopping I got an urge. The bathroom was a hike! My husband says just use the diaper Well you know life got allot easier when I just learned to relax. Now days 20 plus years later I still make it to the bathroom once in a while when I'm at home or just near a restroom. Nowadays I have seconds as compared to a few min. Mind you back then and now I was always dribbling anyway so it's not as if I was dry most of the time anyway But for me also there are many times I don't even feel a sensation that I need to go I just feel a warm sensation between my legs.

I can remember when I was younger how I was so self conscious of wetting myself. But I have to tell you once I learned to stop fighting it life got allot easier.

When i was grade school age it was funny I'd go through so many mixed emotions. Most of the time my parents were real understanding of me and my condition. sometimes when I had accidents during the day I'd get jacked up for being lazy other times I didn't? (OK granted there were times I was lazy) Then still other times when mom and I would go shopping or my parents and I would go on a trip I was put in diapers. I can remember telling my mom I needed to go and often I'd here it's OK just use the diaper? that really plays with a child's mind

I think that childhood stuff has away of spilling over into your adult life?

I think that caused allot of my struggles as a young adult and my bladder control started going down hill again. If your not familiar with my life story I did go through a time during my teenage years were I had fairly good control during the day. but mind you I've always worn full blown diapers all my life at night.

So now that I've been rambling let me sum this up. You just need to learn to relax and roll with it in my opinion. Wearing protection and using it in my opinion is allot better then being in pain and having the stress of always needing to get to the bathroom. Life has way to much stress in it as it is without throwing that on top of it

...............................Sandy

i the begging when a leak started i would stop drinking fluids
it worked for a while till igot a blatter uti that went seasemic
was put in hospital for a week blood pressure drop to 48 over 62
i never for get the numbers went into shock no body know that you are wearing a diaper a diaper is not a big thing an nothing to be ashame of
ps go to a nascar when all the woman are waiting ti use the loo you could sell a case of deperns in five minutes
theirs no shame unless you wear pink ruffels un less you are a woman then they are cute

Hi, Sandy

"When i was grade school age it was funny I'd go through so many mixed emotions. Most of the time my parents were real understanding of me and my condition. sometimes when I had accidents during the day I'd get jacked up for being lazy other times I didn't? (OK granted there were times I was lazy) Then still other times when mom and I would go shopping or my parents and I would go on a trip I was put in diapers. I can remember telling my mom I needed to go and often I'd here it's OK just use the diaper? that really plays with a child's mind"

True story: I had a friend who once confided in me that she had worn diapers until she was in her early teens. When she was 12 her dad was a professor, and the school hosted a dinner for all the professors and their families. She had an accident and her diaper leaked all over her clothes. I don't know the details but she said it was so obvious, everyone noticed, and it was a real scene. Her dad was embarrassed and hauled her to the bathroom and spanked her.

She had never had a diagnosis, and it was her insistance that it wasn't her fault that caused her parents to finally take her to see a urologist. The doctor said her bladder muscles weren't developed yet, that it she couldn't help it, and the doctor looked at her dad and said "Why are you beating your child???" Her dad apologized profusely.

Sandy, I wonder how many parents aren't as understanding as yours?

" I think that caused allot of my struggles as a young adult and my bladder control started going down hill again. If your not familiar with my life story I did go through a time during my teenage years were I had fairly good control during the day. but mind you I've always worn full blown diapers all my life at night. "

I'm not aware of your story, I've been away from the board for several years. Do you have a link to the thread?

My bladder problems go back farther than I can remember. I know it was in 6th grade when my parents discovered my soaked underwear, but by then it was "normal" for me. I was likely damp in grade school. When it started I don't know.

I've got a childhood story that will bring tears to your eyes. Well... maybe not tears. I'll settle for overwhelming sympathy. I'll tell it when I have some more time to write.

"You just need to learn to relax and roll with it in my opinion. Wearing protection and using it in my opinion is allot better then being in pain and having the stress of always needing to get to the bathroom."

You really think so? I agree with you; it makes sense to do whatever needs to be done in order to be able to drink enough to be healthy. I wear diapers now as backup, especially if I'm away from home. But I know if I drink as much as I need to -- 64oz. plus -- no way my bladder can take that without going totally weird. I would have to wear them 24/7. Somehow it's a hard choice to make.

Kendal

Hi Kendal
If you look in the "How did you become incontinent" subject early in that thread I gave some history of myself. Should be around the first few pages? There are many snippets of my life through out the fourm.

I don't think allot of parents were that understanding back then Nowadays I think it is more excepted. I was very blessed to have the up bringing that I had. One thing that may have made my parents more understanding was I didn't really start going without my Pampers till I was in kindigarden. Even then I wore a type of absorbant underwear as I faintly remember. I know in preschool I wore diapers fultime. I went to a Collage based Preschool where most of the teachers were collage students. Talking about this really brings some memories back. There was one student there that took a real liking to me. She us to really interact with my allot infact I remember my mom and dad use to use her as a babysitter for me. She was one of the only ones that would change me if the need would arise at school.

I'm sorry I'm going down memory lane aren't I .......Sandy

Hi Kendall,

I am experiencing the dehydration/lack of thirst issue as you are but I am no longer incontinent, having had surgery to correct it back in 2002.

However, when I become dehydrated, my urine becomes very concentrated (deep yellow or brown) and this is when I have a strong, strong urge to go, it is almost painful like you described. When I do go, I then only urinate about 1/2 cup.

However, when I force myself (because I also, like you, don't experience thirst) to drink a lot of water, I will fill up and then the need to urinate comes from the sensation of a full bladder and not pain. My urine is a then light yellow colour. The full bladder sensation is a lot more tolerable than the pain.

I work a very physical job so when I become dehydrated it starts out with my sweating heavily while working, then the muscles start to get tight and sore, then the need to urinate becomes painful as the night progresses. I hit the head, urinate my measly half cup and continue on. Through this entire time, I experience no thirst. So my goal is to get down four 16 oz. bottles of water during my night. Right now I am doing 1 1/2 and I am still dehydrated. I am working on it. My goal this coming week is to move up to three a night.

Anyway, you need to make a decision and run with it, sounds like to me. I would set a goal for yourself such as going to Costco, buying their flat of 35 count 16 oz. bottles of water and divide the bottles up for one week - 35 divided by 7 days comes out at five a day, and then *make* yourself drink those five per day. Hold yourself accountable to another person if that will help.

I can tell you this, the more water I drink and make a habit of drinking, while I still don't experience thirst, I start craving the water or the habit of sipping it, I don't know which. If you make this a habit, I believe you will notice when you start slipping.

Also, if dehydration is the #1 cause of cancer, then if it was me, I would definitely drink the water and choose the risk of more diaper wearing and using than I would cancer. Wearing a diaper won't kill you, cancer will, plus it's expensive to treat. And yes, I am sort of stepping out of line here because I don't wear. But, sometimes, outside perspective is a good thing.

Personally, I think you are overthinking it. I believe overall you will simply FEEL BETTER by drinking more water. I say GO FOR IT!