www.incontinentsupport.org

When I look back at the progression of my incontinence, it seems like the bathroom is more to change my diaper than to actually use it for its purpose. I look back and I used the toilet all the time 10 years ago then half the time and now its barely quarter of the time. Now when I make it to the toilet, my diaper is rarely completely dry. Its frustrating to think that the bathroom is a place to change my diaper than to actually use the toilet.

I wish I could solve your depression. And yes, it is depressing to use the bathroom to wash and change rather than for its uses for those who are not incontinent. My gastroenterologist recently changed my medication and diet regimen, so I'm becoming accustomed to this change in managing my bowel, which means occasional bowel accidents until I master this new regimen. Depression may not be frequent, but it is always lurking nearby. Incontinence can be like Chinese water torture: we can learn to live with it, but over time it still exacts a price. Hopefully, venting among friends who share your lived experience will be useful for you.

I was thinking this morning that come December, it will be 3 years of my being IC. I know that is not much for many here but it reminded me of how real the nightmare is. I still lapse into the mindset that I am still in control. But yesterday I flooded my guard and ended up peeing my pants while I was doing some contract work from home. That was a rude reminder that I was getting too confident about my level of control.

What bothers me more is that I had a urologist procedure performed to improve my flow this last September. That involved an incision in the urinary tract and a few days of stretching things out with a catheter (uncomfortable that). However, at November now, my flow has dwindled once again already leaving me susceptible to UTIs, not to mention difficulty voiding. This process has occurred before, but lasted longer in the past. Sigh. So, I guess I need to make another appointment and see if anything else can be done instead. I hate fixing things twice, never mind 3 or more times.

I get more annoyed rather than depressed. Partly because there are other things that stress me more, like my wife's failing health and my son's unstable work/life.

What else can you do other than take it one week at a time?

I agree with you all incontinence is just not fair all the diaper changing hygiene measures and keeping up with supplies is quite exhausting even after over 30 years. What makes me angry at times is that all could have been avoided. Sorry for venting

Greenbank

Avoided? How so? Forgive me, but I'm not familar with your history?

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

My journey started over 30 years ago when I was a teenager when I had an acute appendicitis that was diagnosed far too late yes my life was saved just but the resulting damage combined with sepsis permanently damaged my bladder to the extent that I am incontinent. It was hard for me to accept the dramatic change in my life that was not my fault. From a happy teenager one day to being one who had to wear diapers 24/7. The education I went through at the time learning how to change my diapers making lots of mistakes and leaking everywhere really made me angry and frustrated. Having a good hygiene routine was really exhausting at first and UTI’s focus my mind to be fastidiously aware of cleaning. I eventually learned to accept cards life had given to just get on with it took me a while to reach this acceptance point but when it arrived was so liberating. Yes the constant changes, re-supply stress, enhanced hygiene, constant bladder diary recording etc. are a pain but the alternative is much worse. I have a range of different types of diapers, plastic pants, creams for different situations. Yes I have incontinence but incontinence does not have me and I have a normal as possible life. I am thankful that I am alive though but do have periods of feeling angry about my situation.


Greenbank