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Time to stop fighting

Wed Dec 07, 2022 5:44 pm

For my whole life I have been fighting incontinence after being sexually abused.
I managed to stay dry until 1993. I was 26 then.
Now I have been without lasting control for more than half of my life.

I am tired of fighting.
I have to accept that I will never be completely dry.
To give up the hope is a life-changing decision.

Now I want to focus on how to make the most out of what I have got.
I have to plan my life different.

I am tired of fighting.

Re: Time to stop fighting

Wed Dec 07, 2022 9:29 pm

This must have been a difficult decision. But you made it; wounded, maybe, but you have come out the other side, wiser, but better equipped to deal both with your incontinence and with the many similarly wounded folk you encounter in the act of living. I welcome your wisdom and and am glad to have you here.

Re: Time to stop fighting

Wed Dec 07, 2022 10:36 pm

@ optimist

As a 'life changing decision' -- let's come to see it as a positive for you with a happier outcome.

Many of us here have re-oriented our thinking to achieve this.

You remain among those of us who understand and support.

Acceptance is not an action, it is a process.

Re: Time to stop fighting

Fri Dec 16, 2022 4:15 pm

john1050 wrote:@ optimist

As a 'life changing decision' -- let's come to see it as a positive for you with a happier outcome.

Many of us here have re-oriented our thinking to achieve this.

You remain among those of us who understand and support.

Acceptance is not an action, it is a process.


Only positive thinking can take us to the accepting the situations of life rather to react negatively in all the situation it's better to accept the realities of life.

Re: Time to stop fighting

Fri Dec 16, 2022 6:03 pm

Patrick wrote:This must have been a difficult decision. But you made it; wounded, maybe, but you have come out the other side, wiser, but better equipped to deal both with your incontinence and with the many similarly wounded folk you encounter in the act of living. I welcome your wisdom and and am glad to have you here.

I have nothing really to add, but @Patrick this is so poignant and wonderfully worded.

Re: Time to stop fighting

Sat Dec 17, 2022 10:18 am

optimist wrote:For my whole life I have been fighting incontinence after being sexually abused.
I managed to stay dry until 1993. I was 26 then.
Now I have been without lasting control for more than half of my life.

I am tired of fighting.
I have to accept that I will never be completely dry.
To give up the hope is a life-changing decision.

Now I want to focus on how to make the most out of what I have got.
I have to plan my life different.

I am tired of fighting.


Quite a moment acceptance is so so hard especially when incontinence is not your fault. I have the utmost respect for you reaching this point in the journey. Please remember to take care of yourself as this is the hard part far too easy to say what is the point. Yes you have incontinence but incontinence does not have you! Sending you lots of love! Greenbank

Re: Time to stop fighting

Sat Dec 17, 2022 4:12 pm

@WandaPinson

You said:

"Only positive thinking can take us to the accepting the situations of life rather to react negatively in all the situation it's better to accept the realities of life."

I say:

"Bingo!"

Re: Time to stop fighting

Sat Dec 17, 2022 4:42 pm

A friend told me today: "being involved with my community takes me out of my darkroom where I develop all my negatives".
I like that idea.
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