www.incontinentsupport.org

I wear diapers at home primarily because it's just so frustrating to be in the bathroom that often. If I'm not diapered I spend so much of my life worrying about how full my bladder is, how full I expect it to be in 20 minutes, how soon I expect to be a convenient time to go to the bathroom.


I've had the publicly visible accidents. I haven't been as brave about sharing them, but I've had them. Mostly what I was doing instead is I had my life all twisted into absolute knots trying to avoid situations where I might wet, or trying to improvise containers to pee in, or restricting liquid intake, or finding lame excuses for why I can't do this or I have to do that. Or many other things (some of them embarrassing in their own right)

I was originally trying to stop wearing diapers in 2011 because I thought it would make me look "more normal". But I don't look normal when I'm twisting my life into the kind of contortions that I need to, in order to not wear diapers, either.

What I still haven't fully figured out is the masculinity angle, the desire to look like those models in the underwear ads. For me underwear has always been "the first line of defense against my pants being visibly wet". If I'm wearing underwear I kind of expect it to be damp a lot of the time (and I appreciate the fact that it gets wet first so that my pants can stay dry longer). But... man. The idea of being able to wear underwear and have it always be dry. It's something most people take for granted and I know they probably wouldn't see it as a big thing. But it's rough sometimes.

I was going a few rounds with the masculinity thing tonight because I was looking at what I could buy as far as fixing pants/compression shorts. I couldn't find fixing pants I was happy with on the sites I was looking at, so I typed "compression shorts" into amazon, and I got hit with a bunch of visual images of men who are all better than I am at keeping their pants dry. I didn't order anything. I'd rather find fixing pants where at least I can see myself represented more in the target market.

Shortly before Thanksgiving, I was switched to a different medication for my prostate issues that were contributing to incontinence. After being on Terazosin (Hytrin) for nearly 14 months, I discovered that it was causing me severe dry mouth and sinus congestion that was affecting my sleep (to the point that I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and prescribed a BIPAP machine to try), after I ran out of medication (I forgot to refill it on time). Missing that refill ended being one of the best mistakes I ever made, as the dry mouth, congestion, and sleep issues went away within 48 hours after taking the last Hytrin pill (it had to work out of my system). But, the prostate issues came back. I reached out to my doctor, who prescribed a different drug (Finasteride, or Proscar) to try. Huge improvement: the prostate issues were mostly back under control, and I was able to sleep soundly at night without decongestants or BiPAP. In fact, the results were so good that I went back to wearing regular underwear (no pads or anything) day and night, even on outings. It was a great feeling.

Fast forward about six weeks, to last week. One day, while traveling from one site to another during the work day, I had an urge so strong that I almost didn't make it to the bathroom on time. I barely made it, and started to leak uncontrollably as I pulled down my pants and underwear to sit on the toilet. Two nights later, I wet the bed quite heavily while I was soundly asleep. Regular daytime leakage started again, along with urges and accidents. It seemed to coincide with some new efforts (New Year's Resolutions) I started last week to lose weight (diet and exercise).

I had a similar occurrence a couple of years ago during another effort to lose weight, then I "fell off the wagon" and gained weight back. The only difference this time is that I have prostate issues now, but didn't two years ago.

So, I'm back in diapers full time. While it was disappointing that the "dry streak" ended so abruptly and without warning, I would rather keep losing the weight, keep the prostate issues under control, and maximize my life expectancy even if it means being in diapers.

Moral of the story: there will likely be streaks of dryness. Don't let it lull you into a false sense of security. I would have been mortified if I had wet my pants in front of my employees and contractors, and I was within seconds of it happening.

I've been experimenting going without a diaper during the evenings when I'm somewhat dehydrated and my nerves are cooperating. This is mostly to let things air out and avoid getting rashes. I can do this some days, but other times it's not an option and having any amount of liquid in my bladder is a risk of spasms and leaks. Leaving my house without being diapered is not something I'm willing to risk.

_________________
Thank you kindly,
CG

I'm sorry to hear that your IC came back. I use Finasteride with Tamsulosin for my prostate and my main complaint is that it does cause my sinuses to run a little bit.