www.incontinentsupport.org

In an effort to generate some more chat, how long have you been dealing with incontinence and list 3 things that still cause you anxiety about it. Then list three things that use to stress you but no longer do.
Feel free to talk and ask questions to others about their answers.

For me it will be two years by December. It came just out of the blue, but apparently due to nerve damage caused by high glucose levels over many years.

• Fecal incontinence/IBS-d flare-ups away from home (or fear of the consequences of coffee or other foods I shouldn't eat)
• Taking chances skimping on protection due to cheapness/laziness
• Keeping the embarrassing "Big Secret"

• Just wearing a diaper in public
• Leaking in public
• Being discovered publicly in a diaper and providing an answer for it

My main struggle is dealing with/prevention of F-IC. I'm already severely restricted in what I can eat/drink due to diabetes (type-2). The IBS is forcing me to give up even more. Some days I can have coffee without consequences while other days, it wreaks havoc. I love pears but found that I cannot have them anymore (fructose is the enemy). I love apple cider, but same thing.

For me, i have been dealing for about 15 years. Over 10 of that I have been wearing full time protection.



For me, 3 things that still cause me anxiety are people finding out and assuming it is a fetish, having to stay overnight somewhere with others in close proximity and not having privacy and having to tell someone about having to wear diapers.
Where I work, rumors travel faster then the speed of light. I have had one person tell me that they heard someone say I had a diaper fetish but the person that heard this had promised never to tell anyone else so they could not defend me during that conversation. A diaper fetish would be a really fast way to earn a bad reputation when you work with the public.
If I have to stay somewhere over night I still stress what to do if others are around and I need to hide it from them. There are very few options aside from disclosing your situation.
That brings me to the last fear, I have not found a good way to tell others without being totally humiliated or not making the other person feel very awkward. Even telling my doctors I find hard and try to avoid unless it is totally necessary.




Three thing I do not stress anymore are, worrying about if I leak while out in public, that my wife will reject me and being out ant not having any supplies to change into if needed.

I don't worry about leaking much anymore because I have developed a lot of confidence in the diapers I use and when I choose to wear those particular brands. I don't flood so that is a major advantage to my type of incontinence. There is plenty of time for my diapers to wick wetness throughout the whole diaper. And when I do spring a leak, It is never that big and I catch it pretty quick.
My wife has been amazing. My self esteem had been so bad going through all of this and I had been so far and being admitted to the hospital for depression and suicidal thoughts. My wife has been with me through it all and continued to reassure me that she loved me and what I wear in a non-issue to her in her eyes.
The last thing I don't stress about is not being prepared with supplies. I have 3 or 4 changes in my vehicle that is with me about 90% of the time. The other 10%, we plan if we will be out for any length of time and take just what is needed. So far that has served us well and I have never been out and in need of supplies and not had anything ready.

I guess that I may be unique in this conversation.

My social anxiety is unrelated to my incontinence. Rather, I am anxious in public because my brain injury and inner ear disease have caused me to collapse in public several times. I walk like a drunk even in the best of times, and risk a collapse at any moment. Because my incontinence is more leakage than flood, I can wear lighter protection. However, I do need to wear protection that can handle a bowel movement should it be necessary. I keep a well-stocked diaper bag with me at all times, and hope for the best.

My big concern is that, because incontinence, especially bowel incontinence, is socially taboo, I seek advice and support here rather than from my friends and family. Generally, I just wear protection that I hope will be adequate for my needs and hope for the best.

Rope, good topic.

Everyone - great answers!

I have been IC for 12 years - caused by bad accident and made worse by later surgeries, and age.

What stresses me the most: 1) Bladder accident in public, 2) Bowel accident in public, and 3) Even worse - taking shared transportation with friends to an event (restaurant or entertainment) and having fecal accident. Then having to ride back with friends in car/van with messy diaper.

I now am less stressed by: 1) Bulging (it’s better to bulge than to leak), 2) Being “caught” wearing a diaper, and 3) Being known to be IC. (these last 3 only came slowly with age - my diaper is my friend)

I manage my fecal incontinence primarily by traditional enemas. As I become older and lose agility, that will become a very big problem. I cannot imaging other people giving me a daily enema.

Today’s Dark Humor saying: “one thing about taking an enema - it all comes out in the end.”

Hmmm. My son was in preschool back then, and he's now 23, so almost 20 years.


Leaks in public.
Supplies not arriving before I run out.
Costs going up.


Fecal issues. I found that bananas were the primary cause. Now I can't eat bananas or grapefruit. Sigh.
People finding out I wear diapers.
Buying diapers in public. I love the interwebs. ::

BTW- Great idea Rope.

_________________
- Tom

I've been incontinent for 9 months.

3 things that cause me anxiety still:

• Diaper bulge and friends/coworkers finding out I wear diapers
• My wife thinking I'm faking incontinence (for some reason I get that vibe from her sometimes, though she is generally supportive).
• Bad leaks in public or at work

Really, I could add a lot more to that list.

3 things that I no longer stress much about:

• Minor leaks. They are caught by my diaper cover and absorbed by my cotton fixing pants. And even if it leaks onto my clothes a little most people would think I sat on something or maybe spilled a little water on myself.
• Wetting my diaper in front of others
• People I don't know finding out I wear diapers

I've haven't been to this site very much in many months. I am sad there isn't much more in the way of general chatter, I do find it helpful to read even if I don't have anything useful to say.

I have needed to be diapered for about 2 years now. I was denier with a wet spot on my pants a few years before that.

Things that no longer give me anxiety:
-finding and buying products and having them delivered.
-the self consciousness of wearing diapers around others
-Leaks (think I have it pretty well figured out in most situations)

Things that may still give me anxiety:
-wondering if I have gone nose-blind to myself.
-having to change in a shared space
-and of course being exposed as a diaper wearer to anyone else, and the humiliation that would bring, no matter if it were someone who was understanding, or someone who would find it humorous or otherwise entertaining at my expense.

One other anxiety for me more recently is thinking about being hospitalized, or not being able to use my arm or hand that I have had some issues with. I haven't yet needed assistance, or found myself unconscious at a hospital for an extended stay, but the idea of having someone "assist me" is something that brings me a fair amount of stress. I've heard other's talk about that topic here, and I keep that in mind. i'm not the first or last person to have dread about it.

Thank you kindly,
CG

CG,

The need for assistance for managing our incontinence issues can indeed be a source of stress. My response has been that there is nothing unique about me. I'm an adult male, pretty much like all other adult males. Nothing to see here. Although I treat my independence as almost a fetish, my medical situation makes assistance necessary occasionally. I resist assistance as long as I can, submitting only when my family or a medical professional intervenes. I guess I ought to be embarrassed, but I'm more simply exasperated. I want my brain to behave, the vertigo to abate, and I want to take care of myself.

Good luck on finding the solution that works for you.

Thanks to everyone that has added their own experience and fears. I think it is awesome that some here have the same concerns but even more that some have those same concerns but in the opposite list. It really goes to show how we can lean on each other when the stress and anxiety weighs on us but also how we may be in a position to support someone else with their own struggles.