www.incontinentsupport.org

Yesterday I had my 5 year post prostatectomy check up. My psa continues to be undetectable, .03. However my incontinence continues at somewhat of an unpredictable state. As a result, I wear diapers most of the time...tape on during the day, and pin on cloth at night. Pads don't do the job. There are days and nights that they are not used. I can go several nights staying dry, then I will have a few wet nights. Day is even more unpredictable. One diaper can last the entire day, then again I may need 2 or 3. My urologist seems stymied as to what my issues are. He has suggested physical therapy due to the fact that he doesn't think I relax my bladder sphincter completely. I'm hesitant to do that due to my other health issues...heart failure, back surgery, possible rotator cuff surgery, etc. considering that my bladder tests seem fairly normal, I'm beginning to think my issues are more mental than physical. I'm considering venturing out not being protected, but a little scared to do so. I may be fine, but maybe not. This whole thing is so depressing. I'm getting the impression that my urologist feels that I'm giving up. So, there you have it. What should I do? Keep staying diapered just in case, or take a chance? I will be 75 years old/young this Friday.

Please accept my early happy birthday. I guess, because I must be diapered 24/7 anyway, my recommendation would be to use protection (diapers) as often as necessary to avoid embarrassment. I am not embarrassed to need, and use, glasses; why should I be embarrassed to need, and use, diapers?

Thanks for the birthday wishes, Patrick. It's just difficult to know when I should be wearing a diaper, and when it would be okay to go without. I guess, if my incontinence was total I would be more accepting.

Happy early birthdaydp66.

When your incontinence tends to be unpredictable, wearing diapers is more about risk acceptance. As I am anxious about the possibility of accidents in public, I opt for the security of wearing a diaper. The "security" may be more emotional reassurance than the physical aspects of wearing a diaper, but the emotional side also is important.

Seconding this. It also lets me have more of a "take it as it comes" attitude towards everything. All the little things that come up that cause plans to change or that are unexpected. Getting stuck in a traffic jam on the way home from work. I don't have to panic about bladder stuff when things don't go exactly how I expected they would.

There's so much fear wrapped up in the feeling of "not being within 30 seconds of a bathroom" when I'm not wearing a diaper.

I like myself better as a person when I'm not so knotted up in all this bladder-related fear all the time.

My day time incontinence is somewhat unusual in that I wear pull-ups just for accident protection. Most days I use the toilet like I always used to and discard them at the end of the day completely dry. This leads to me being overly confident, like this morning when we had visitors stop over, bringing coffees. This leads me to wonder if I need the pull-ups at all.

I was ok for a couple of hours before I felt the tingling start. But since I've not had an accident for quite some time now, I thought I could delay the trip into the house to use the bathroom. But then I heard my late to get out of bed son go into the bathroom and shut the door (through the partially open window). That's when I suddenly lost it and started to pee myself. I think hearing the bathroom door shut is a trigger. We only have one bathroom (big purchasing decision mistake).

It was a reminder that yes, I really am incontinent and that I need to wear these pull-ups. Sometimes I get to doubting or thinking that I am regaining control. So I continue to struggle with acceptance. It's going to take years I think. I need to lose the notion of ever going back to the way things were.

See if you can get into pelvic floor PT.

Your doctor has never had to deal with the problems so he has little understanding of your situation, and urologists are FAMOUS for ignoring muscle issues if the plumbing seems OK. I ended up in the ER over pelvic floor problems which I developed secondary to trying to control my incontinence.

Hi dp66

I have had incontinence for over 30 years and started when I was a teenager so feel for you. The key is that yes you have incontinence but incontinence does not have you! Being diapered is part of the management package to have a normal life as possible. Never go out unprotected you will regret it!

You medical team should be taking an holistic assessment of your health care!

You are doing so well don’t give up .

Greenbank

Well, I am now officially past my 5 year mark for incontinence. I believe I have reached the point of acceptance now - what choice do I have?

For a couple of years, I struggled considerably with F-IC in the daytime. That was most concerning. You can be discreet but you can't hide the smell! After experimenting with diet, I eventually reached a fairly effective solution. It turns out that butter (or margarine) causes me severe diarrhea, which becomes too urgent for me to control. The solution was to gave up butter.

BUT, I am not completely worry free. However, if I stay home for 2-3 hours in the morning, I can still enjoy a cup of (black) coffee now. I can enjoy that coffee, wait a few hours and then have my coffee expedited BM. Then it becomes fairly safe for me to go out and to do my shopping/errands. If I need to go out first thing in the morning, I simply have to abstain (reluctantly) from that cup of coffee.

U-IC is still an ongoing thing. Taking vitamin B12 has helped somewhat I think- I feel as if I have a bit more nerve control over the urges. However, I still need a brief for overnight for urges due to nocturia. When I go out to sporting events lasting 3 or more hours, I try to stay hydrated and this requires an adequate brief to be worn.

Otherwise, I can get by with a pull-up most days, acting as "insurance underwear".

So, after wearing diapers for five years now, it has simply become a necessary part of living.