rmg wrote:
It’s just not practical to be urinating every 30 minutes in a bathroom.
You're right, it's not practical. But this is also kind of the part of it that's tough for me to conceptualize in my head, too. The bladder stuff has been a lifelong thing for me. I don't know what having a "normal" bladder feels like, because I've never had one.
So there's these three thoughts that go through my head a lot:
1. Holding a full bladder until I get to a toilet is just not practical unless I'm at home, and sometimes not even then
2. But hey, other people manage to do it, and they're not much different from me, right? So it has to be possible. How are they doing it???
3. If I can figure out how they're doing it, then I should be able to do it, too, right?
Obviously the logical answer is (and my rational mind understands this) that my bladder isn't "normal" and that what's easy for other people may be hard or impossible for me. But it's just so tempting to make that assumption and go "well, everyone's bodies must work basically like mine, right? So why can't I do this? Or, alternatively, why can other people do it so well? What's their secret?"
dp66 wrote:
Have any of you tried to go unprotected at times, and if so how did that go?
Yes I have. I can actually do a semi-decent job at it when I try. It's stressful and scary. And it's also embarrassing. I have this really vivid memory of helping someone with some physically demanding labor. I was trying to be brave and not wear a diaper. We were both sweating and it was probably obvious that I needed some water. The person I was helping offered me some, and I had to turn it down despite the fact that I'm sure it was obvious to him that I needed it. And I gave some lame, tongue-tied explanation for why I couldn't say yes to the water.
But all in all I think I can do an okayish job at not wearing diapers. The problem is that "me, trying really really really hard" isn't even up to the level of bladder control that "a normal person, not trying hard at all" is capable of.
So I'm still not the equal of that person who's got a normal bladder. I can do it. But when I do, it's taking everything I've got. And other people do the same or better job than I do at the bladder stuff, and they're just cruising along with no stress.
rmg wrote:
It’s the guilt factor of wearing a diaper as an adult and using it even when not having an accident.
I don't think I've ever felt this guilt. Sure, I've definitely felt ashamed that my bladder is the way it is and that I have to wear the diapers in the first place. But I don't feel embarrassed when I pee on purpose into the diaper. I feel like the diaper is what gives me enough control over the whole situation so that I *can* make my own bladder-related decisions and decide when I'm going to intentionally pee.
If I didn't have the diaper, then I wouldn't have the luxury of doing anything on purpose. Every full bladder would be a panic situation. I would be getting stuck in all kinds of TMI situations that everyone here is probably familiar with. But since I do have the diaper, I don't have to panic or get scared when my bladder is full, I can just pee.
How much sense does that make? I guess I feel like -- sure, in one sense I'm demonstrating good bladder control when that happens. My body says it's time to pee, I make the decision to pee, and I pee. That's bladder control, right? But it's only that way because I was in the diaper in the first place.