www.incontinentsupport.org

So I’ve suffered from urinary incontinence now for 2.5 years. I’ve had to either wear pull-ups or diapers 24/7 since then. I’ve tried various meds, had the full boat of tests (CT, cystoscopes, urodynamics) and even surgery to unblock the bladder outlet. I still pee so frequently and urgently that it’s frustrating. My bladder just doesn’t empty fully anymore. Sometimes even when I think I could get to the bathroom, I just give up and use the diaper. Going every 30-60 minutes to the bathroom is no fun and certainly not realistic if you want to leave the house. Do others sometimes just use their diapers and give into using them due to the frequency of needing to go to the bathroom? There’s at least 2-3 times a day that I could never make it, but I probably just use the diaper another half the time. Just wondering if this is normal as you accept being incontinent.

I'm in a similar boat now for 1.3 years.
While my issues are not as severe as yours, there are times. My frequency is about once/hour and sometimes it sneaks up on me. For example, if I watch the NFL/CFL/USFL/NASCAR on the couch, I might start tingling if I wait too long. Once I stand up, it's usually (IC) game over.
At night, when I'm tired, I sometimes get surprised while sitting at the computer. Being upstairs, I can't get to the toilet in time. Also, I know the pull-up will be discarded shortly when I put on a diaper for the night. So it's another reason to just give in.

If I'm outside cutting the grass or doing yard work, I know that getting into the house and stepping over the house cats to get to the toilet is pointless (and probably dangerous to self and cats). So I allow myself to pee and cleanup later. I'm even getting used to my "walk of shame" for bringing my used diaper (in a bag) to the trash afterwards. Wifey doesn't even look at that anymore. It's become business as usual.
For me it is becoming my new normal. I hate spending money on diapers, so I try to minimize it. But when I go out, I count on peeing in it. I used to wear pull-ups (Molicare Mobiles) when I went out but I'm gradually accepting the fact that I need a brief (diaper) instead, because I sometimes have BM issues. That scares the piss out of me. I'm IC because of nerve damage from diabetes for many years. This is not how I imagined my sunset years to be! Yet, there doesn't seem to be a better solution so I better just learn to accept it. Acceptance is difficult but possible.

As a life long bedwetter, I can say I’m in the same boat as you are with it. I tied all the medications and home remedies and whatnot but found no real reprieve, at least not long term or without consequence. A few years ago when I met my wife and we were about to move in, I came clean to her about it and she suggested I try diapers. I was hesitant at first but agreed to try them out.

Initially I always would use the toilet if I woke up and needed to pee. But as time went on and I accepted my situations and the need for diapers, I became okay with just using the diaper sort of intentionally. It became a hassle to get up and take it off and then either put it back on (sometimes already partially used) or getting a new one. It would disrupt my sleep so much more cause it would be a process that woke me up and made falling back asleep more difficult and I was going through a lot of extra diapers. Now I found myself sleeping so much better. From time to time i still feel guilty about it and think I shouldn’t just do it but that feeling happens less and less now.

I think our feelings of guilt about using a diaper while in bed are misplaced. If I woke up every time I leaked at night, loss of sleep would make me a sleep-deprived zombie during the day, and a hazard to other drivers on the highway. Diapers give me an uninterrupted night's sleep, a dry bed in the morning, and they keep my house smelling fresh.

Yes to all the above.

--John
(double incontinent)

Thanks everyone for the replies. It’s great to read that others feel the same way at some point about their incontinence. I feel like I’ve tried a lot and fear anymore invasive tests or surgeries could lead to more harm than good. I’ve gotten used to diapers and ok with going on with life at this point.

RMG, I have had almost the exact experience! I have had overactive bladder for 30 years. I began to use protection in my late 40s and finally tape on diapers for overnight, I was waking up 3-4 times per night to get up and go to the bathroom because of overactive bladder. Same issues as you during the day, I just use my diaper instead of running to the bathroom. Once I made the decision to wear and use my diapers at night I wake up so much more rested. I still wake up if I need to pee, but can use my diaper and go right back to sleep. I have used cloth in the past,but am using Seni Super Plus from Amazon now and very rarely have any leaks.

I have been a bedwetter since I was a kid and have dealt with this too. I was actually thinking about making a post similar too this myself. I often wake up or somewhat wake up at night and just use my pull-up myself, more often then not I just use my pull-up then just go back too sleep. I still feel guilty for doing that from time to time but that is what I have a pull-up on for anyways.

After wetting too bed for so long I am just now thinking of trying to do something either medication or some sort of treatment too see if there is a simple solution but since I must wait for a specialists too come too my hospital so it will be cheaper. I am thinking about it more now I might just not do much. Not sure I want too spend the money on something that may or may not work. I have accepted my issue since I was around 20 that this is something that I may half too just deal with. We will see I will most likely see what the specialist has too say then go from there. It is nice too see that other people feel the same way as well.

7 years here.

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Nappied, urinary incontinent only 24/7. Favourite napppy - Tena Slip Maxi but also wear Abena Abri-Form.

Thanks Texan. I agree it seems like we are in the same boat and have a similar experience. I wear a better dry tape on diaper at night which seems to work quite well. I rarely wake up now but used to get up several times a night. I’m much better rested now after sleeping through the night.

During the day, My stress level is so much better now that I’m not worried about running to the bathroom hoping to make it in time. It also liberates me to go out and about leaving the house more often.

It’s the guilt factor of wearing a diaper as an adult and using it even when not having an accident. It’s just not practical to be urinating every 30 minutes in a bathroom. I’m doing much better getting over the realities and accepting it. I used to really worry that others could tell that I was diapered, but I have come to realize nobody knows or at least nobody will say anything.

Thanks to everyone for replying. It’s good to know we are not alone. I really wished this disability was more talked about especially for us younger men. In the words of the urologist, I’m not the only one dealing with it.