wayne wrote:
In another post I've related how my wife is now onboard with briefs and even the MegaMax. When I introduced the MegaMax to her this time, the reactions were interesting. The first reaction was to the Tie-Dye colouring, which really helped to break the ice and downgrade the stigma. But the most interesting reaction was how she was about even touching the diaper.
She had questions about leaks etc. so I summarized its features. Then I pointed out that it has a landing zone at the top front for the benefit of tapes and refastening. I pointed to the landing zone and had her touch it so that she could feel the extra plastic there. She reacted as if she was afraid to touch it. This reminded me of how I would have felt before I became IC. Before IC, a person doesn't want to be seen with or holding an adult diaper, as if you become guilty by association.
So even though I have had to "make friends with diapers", I need to remember that the association and stigma is still there for others, including the supporting spouse. As IC people, we are used to the handling, inspection and the wearing of diapers. But for many others it is still something to be feared.
I’m happy that your wife is gaining acceptance. It’s a difficult road for many couples, I think. I’m lucky to have support and acceptance but I don’t involve my husband in any aspects of changing or shopping for them. But I wouldn’t have him in the bathroom with me before I became incontinent. Adult diapers are scary I think for a lot of people. They were for me at first. They are giant and they are the topic of jokes and insults. It’s a hard hurdle to overcome. I’m uncomfortable with every joke made about them when I watch tv or read an article when someone throws incontinence out as a big joke.