www.incontinentsupport.org

In reading through the messages on here, I notice that the majority of you are diaper dependent - as in you wear a proper tape-on style pad. Am I in the minority in that I am in the male guard/occasional pullups category of user? Are any of you pullups users?

Or is there a chronological aspect here, that while I'm able to get by with guards and pullups now, the general fact is that I'll have to move towards diapers/nappies eventually?

Whether you will experience a natural progression from mild protection to full on nappies (diapers) could be best answered by your urologist. I wear heavy cloth protection at night, lighter protection during the day. However, I look forward to having a sphincterotomy renewal later this year, when the covid 19 pandemic abates enough to permit the resumption of elective procedures. Meanwhile, I have bladder spasms every hour; they really hurt, and if I cannot get to a bathroom in time, I will have an accident. The sphincterotomy renewal, when I have it, will force me to use heavy diapers 24/7, ending bladder spasms and saving my kidneys from reflux damage. Good luck and report back when you can.

There are no guarantees or hard facts that apply to everyone... some people find complete relief some people progress to a full loss of control... either is possible but impossible to say for each individual... don't lose hope or give in don't feel doomed to be in diapers you are just as likely to find some relief.

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CraigUK: It will of course vary depending upon the cause of your incontinence, like the others have already said.

I'm a newbie myself at this, having type-2 diabetes and recently discovering that I am sometimes urgent bladder incontinent. I have chosen to wear a pull-up daily, so that I don't have to worry about my bladder going rogue and have protection if I don't make it to the toilet with diarrhea. If I know that I am home for the full day and my bowels seem ok, I'll wear guards around the house.

But I don't know about my future except that my nerve damage will get worse over time. But how fast will it progress? How bad will it get? I wish I knew. In my case, there is no hope for a reversal but I could hope that it just stays where it is. I am hopeful that when I stop using the metformin medication, that my diarrhea will stop. Else I may also be headed for fecal incontinence (though I read that it is fairly rare to have both urinary and fecal incontinence for diabetes). So I remain hopeful.

I should also explain that I have also personally decided against any slings or other mechanical aids surgery. Each procedure has its own risks, pains etc. and I am not willing to accept them. Medications can reduce urinary incontinence but they have undesirable side-effects and are not 100% at the end of the day (or will not remain so). But that is me-- you might feel differently. I would only caution against what doctors may promise you. They are selling something, even though it is supposed to be in your best interest.

But if you've read a lot of this forum, you'll see that there are many ways to be/become incontinent and each has its own hope or sentence. In my case, I think it will be a remaining life sentence. But, I am not down about it and I plan to finish my life the best way that I can. My first priority is really about keeping my eyesight. My late father lost his by not using proper glucose management (out of stubbornness).

So I would just add that nobody here knows your future. Be hopeful and be thankful for what you have. Decide carefully.

I don't know about the progression, but I can say one thing is certain... Don't give up!

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Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. Its very nice to be in an arena of support and not criticism. I can see we all have our own coping strategies for incontinence and I am experimenting with mine. A guard does me fine daytime, but i don't particularly like to have to wear the tight-ish, fashion cut briefs that seem to work best with a guard (gimme my old boxershorts any day), and I don't like having to think though what my day may hold to work out how many guards I might need or whether pullups would be better for that day for security and reassurance. There are times I consider forgetting about using guards at all and switch to pull-ups full time. That way I don't need to think about it so much, or worry about changing as often. Have others had similar thoughts about moving up a level of protection simply because it makes the day less stressful?

Definitely. I have guards and pull-ups, but prefer to just wear the pull-up every day. The only exception might be the day when I am 100% sure I will be home for the whole day, which is rare. But I hate planning ahead and many unexpected things come up. Since I am the one that goes out to avoid having my wife exposed to the virus, I rarely spend the whole day at home.

Guards do make me nervous. I think they're more suitable for those that just leak a little here and there. For urge incontinence, I am worried that the guard might have moved to the wrong place etc. In my book, the confidence factor is the "prime directive".

I'm with you on this Wayne, I think that's the direction of travel I will take, would be one less thing to worry about in a day.

Definitely ditch the guards Craig! I know you don't want to hear this, and I had a hard time coming to terms with it myself, but unless you have dribbles and the occasional spurt and only have a small set of equipment that doesn't move around, your best bet is a full coverage brief. Pullups do not, repeat DO NOT have the padding coverage necessary to cover you in all situations if your penis tends to move around. With a tape on brief, you are covered whether you are pointed up, down, left or right. Guards are even worse than pullups in my experience. They never stayed in place, got bunched up and did not protect. Also, a good rule of thumb is to go with the protection that will contain your worst episode. In my case, my worst episode was a full on release. A pullup would only contain one of those. I moved to briefs pretty quickly after I realized that pullups just didn't have the necessary paddign coverage. I have some control yet I wear tape ons 24/7. Why? Because I never have to worry about where I am pointed. I select brands and styles of tape ons that are easy to remove for toilet use. Oh, and Tape ons are MUCH easier to change in a restroom without remvoing your pants and shoes than pullups are. Yes, I realize its stigmatizing having a product that resembles what babies wear. But it's just underwear! If you simply can't bring yourself to wear a tape on brief, then I would suggest a premium top of the line product such as Abena, Seni or northshore care for pullons. Tranquility is also great. Please don't go and buy the store brand. That will leave you with nothing but leaks.

Peace out!

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