www.incontinentsupport.org

Whenever I see commercials for Always Discreet underwear or pads for light bladder leakage, I wish my incontinence was mild enough to wear them instead of what I wear now. Now I am getting frustrated that its slowly getting worse every year and not better. I am doing what I can to take good care of myself. I exercise several times a week, I eat healthier and I've lost the weight that I gained from pregnancy. However, despite all of this, my incontinence isn't cooperating.

I also don't understand how underwear such as Always or Depends can be enough for OAB. Maybe my voids are too significant for these products but they are definitely more appealing than the medical-grade white garments that I have to now wear.

Sorry for venting

Hi DianeSW
My bladder leakage continue to worsen from a very early age due to neurological and birth defect issues. I began to have wetting issues that continue, every year worse than the year prior. I’ve been in cloth diapers from the beginning at night and transitioned to cloth nearly 100% of the time, though used pads and such, to what I call shields, to pull-ups, to lite capacity diapers, to much higher capacity disposables as they became available when the bulk of cloth wasn’t appropriate. I continue to use some of these products when I appropriate but prefer the security and comfort of cloth when possible.
Where am I going with this?.... You will find several options for pull-ups, that are much more absorbent than the drug store brands at places like Northshore. These are good alternatives to full on disposable diapers, and offer a much trimmer fit. You can also add boosters that fit within the leak guards for extra capacity, without overly affecting the trimmer profile.
I hope this helps.

Venting is what this place is for...

I don't know what else you could do unless you wanted to try more medications or medical procedures. Those store brand products are for lite leakage and not a full bladder void that occurs all at once.
I have some of the Always brand pullups and I use them in between diapers, like when I take my evening shower or bath and maybe don't want to put on my overnight diaper right after. Northshore brand pullups are much better than store brand and can hold a 2-3 full bladder voids, from me anyway. You might try them if you want something other than a tape diaper 24/7. There isn't one solution that's right for every situation. Sometimes you need more, sometimes you can get away with less. Always have a variety of protection so you have options.

I've gone down the medication and surgery route. I've tried meds with varying success but intolerable side effects. The constipation and bloating were intolerable. I didn't feel like myself on these meds. I also felt like I was in a fog all the time. My mind wasn't sharp and when you are running a household full of kids and pets, I couldn't be two steps behind everyone else.

I'm used to seeing an improvement in what I do with dedicated attention. This is my approach with my hobbies and its kinda my life philosophy. Its frustrating that incontinence is going in the wrong direction and I am worried that its going to continue in this direction. I feel like it has a life of its own and nothing I do can change that. That is very difficult for me to accept. My husband encourages me to keep my spirits up and try to keep on doing what I'm doing because he is quite supportive. I am also worried about what my incontinence is going to look like in several years and I think to myself how am I going to cope.

Although I second every bit of advice above, please, do not think that using full-on heavy cloth diapers is in any way a defeat. At my most recent neurologist's appointment, my doctor tried to convince me to use a wheelchair at all times. I refused. Then he suggested a walker. I refused. How about a cane? I said OK, when necessary. He grinned and said he understood. Put diapers on the same shelf with canes, eye glasses, hearing aids, braces, and crutches. Embarrassing? Yes indeed. But, if you truly need them, they can be liberating. I use a wheelchair when I accompany my friends and family to events where my disability would hinder them, as during a trip to Disney World several years ago. Diapers enable me to go places and do things that would be impossible otherwise. My neurological situation is deteriorating, but slowly, and diapers enable me to continue an active, productive life for years to come. Good luck.

You’re right Patrick but it takes time. There’s a very long way towards acceptance. I mean it’s easier to accept you have to wear glasses than diapers.

Good luck, Diane and to you all.

I spoke to my husband and I will revisit the surgical option. I was quite hesitant about getting surgery but if it means that I can potentially have a cure, maybe its worth it.
I think my emotions got the better of me these past couple of days because I don't have the support of friends that I'm used to with all the Covid restrictions. To add to that I saw myself in the mirror wearing my pullons and I got frightened. I started thinking whats next.
I have my consult in a couple of weeks and we shall see what happens.

We’re all having a hard time with all the restrictions and thus we’re feeling low. So hills look like mountains.

That’s a very good idea to revisit the surgical option. I hope it will cure your incontinence.

Hi Diane,
I wish you the best of luck with your surgery appointment.
Advice that other members from this board will regularly bring up is to think about your protection as a tool that enables you to live a free life. Sometimes, you just need to step up the tool that you use. Life throws us curveballs and sometimes we need a bigger hammer or a bigger shovel to deal with the stuff that throws us off. I hope you also take some time to introspect about your misgivings with increasing your level of protection to diapers. Have you tried them and had a bad experience?

Thank you for your support.
My symptoms have gotten worse partly because Covid makes it hard to find a restroom and I also have anxiety about using public restrooms. I wait a little too long because I try not to use public restrooms or I can't find one in time. This combination is probably the biggest reason why I think my current level of protection is becoming inadequate. Its possible that once we turn the corner on this pandemic, I can return to my previous level of protection. Right now, I want to hear how effective the surgery can be, the length of the recovery period and the different risks.
And, yes I bought a package of northshore lite. I think its an emotional reason. Its one thing for me to pull on my protection. Its hard emotionally to use the tapes. I don't know. Its hard to explain. Sorry, if I'm not making much sense.