www.incontinentsupport.org

I finally got together with my girlfriends for lunch yesterday. Its been awhile so I prepared by wearing a northshore pullon with booster - I assumed that the water, soft drinks, coffee and possible cocktail would require a higher level of protection. I also came up with a bathroom schedule - before lunch, during lunch and after lunch. I figured that would help to prevent a problem. Well, I got caught up in conversation and forgot to use the bathroom during lunch. My protection held when I realized I was going to have a problem halfway through lunch. The problem was that at the end of lunch my friends made an impromptu decision to go for a hike at a local state park. I was so flustered by what happened and surprised by the impromptu plan that I regretfully declined. The idea of having another accident and having a leak got me too worried. Thinking back, I probably could have gone. I had another pullon with me for a change. Once the concern of having a problem got into my head, I couldn't get rid of it. Now, I am quite frustrated and need to vent.

I really thought i had this problem under control.

Don't worry, we have all been there. It is tough to overcome those negative thoughts of what if... what if I leak, what will I say, what will my friends say, what will they think of me now... It takes time to learn to trust yourself and your protection. It sounds like you had a good plan, even if you did forget to use the restroom, you didn't leak, no one noticed anything.

I've been in situations similar where i anticipated that there may be a follow on to the planned activity. I too added a booster (a Male Guard pad in my case) to my diaper or pull-up. But the real trick was to have a couple of extras with me in my pants pockets. I suppose two or three would fit in a purse. When you use the bathroom just change out the pad, super quick and easy and nobody is the wiser. One note though, don't pull the adhesive strip cover off when putting a pad in, it makes it difficult to remove and may even tear the inner shell.

One aspect of incontinence management is that we rarely go anywhere or do anything on a whim. Planning ahead becomes second nature. One advantage of being open about our incontinence needs is that, hopefully, our friends and acquaintances will more readily accommodate those needs. Good luck on your next outing.

My incontinence has gradually gotten worse but this year it hit a tipping point. My pullons were no longer cutting it this year and I started adding booster pads for longer outings.
With Covid, spontaneous get togethers really don't happen so I've grown accustomed to planning more as my incontinence has worsened and I didn't really think about the impact of my incontinence on my life until yesterday and today. Yesterday was a blunt slap in the face.
I'm sure my friends would be ok with if I told them. I just don't feel comfortable telling them yet.

Diane,

Take your time with revealing only to those WHO NEED TO KNOW. Feel comfortable with yourself first. Many of us here are already experts at that. The major impacts to us are largely in the past.

j.