www.incontinentsupport.org

Truthfully, this post had me scratching my head for a bit now. But after a lot of thinking I guess it comes down to how you take it. So, here is my response to this.

What do I like.

All of this has brought myself, my parents and my Nanny closer together. I have been a bed wetter for so long now that for years my dad would not really talk to me about it. It was because I made the choice to cut off the doctor that I was seeing when I was a kid once I turned 18 and could make choices for myself. My dad felt for years that I should have sought out a different doctor once I was working because in his mind, no one would put up with this for as long as I have. Now he gets it. As for my mom, she has always supported me but sometimes I don't tell her everything because of to much information (TMI).

Truth is that my mom has been the person that I dump all my emotional junk on a lot. Now that I talk to my Nanny she sets me right on what to, and not to tell my mom. (Nanny worked in nursing homes for years so noting is TMI to her.)

Truth is that I know first hand how bad 2018 could have ended for me. Doctors told me that had I been anywhere else except the ER/ED the night of the December 20th that I would not have lived. So yea, this is better than being dead. (Side note, I am a firm believer in Christ. I know exactly where I am going when that time comes and I do not fear death, But my mom has been through enough and I don't what to leave earth any time soon.)


Now for what I dislike.

Well I am one of six kids and growing up it was a lot to hide from them. We traveled from Florida to Pennsylvania every summer when I was young and part of the reason I told my parents was due to coming north (I got caught by my brother and had to tell my parents before leaving)

Yea there was a lot of embarrassing times growing up.

Dealing with doctors now that don't take the time to read my chart.

Cost of products.

I don't like getting a rash from bowel stuff.

Not wanting to get out and do things because my bowels are like playing with a live hand grenade.

Always feeling stressed that I will embarrass myself.

Always feeling hunger when I go out because I don't eat before hand.

How bad my back is already because my abdominal muscles from just above my belly button and down do not work so I only have my back to support myself with.

NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE ANYTHING FOR PAIN!!!!

Lastly, not have any control when things happen. Without all the medication I am on I am in enough pain to be in the ER/ED, with it I have little control.

_________________
Life is like a camera
Focus of what is important
Capture the good times
Develop from the negatives
Take another shot!

Not a like, but definitely a benefit: I’m meeting a friend at Starbucks tomorrow and their bathrooms are not open for customers. Thank goodness for MegaMax

I am going to a Birthday party today at a state park with my parents. Yea no bathrooms near by so I am going to have to be prepared. Good thing is it's a small event and everyone is family.

_________________
Life is like a camera
Focus of what is important
Capture the good times
Develop from the negatives
Take another shot!

How’d it go?

It went okay until I got home. I had some bread pizza while there and it started hitting me on the right home. Did not make it all the way in the house but not a full accident so better than expected. I was really worried because I did not take my own advice because it was outside but a bathroom was actually there (Thanks google earth) so I went with a pull-up and Gary wear pants. Lucky I only had to change in to brief once I got home.

Side note. I drank some bad juice powder mix last night so have been feeling like junk so I have not sleep in 24 hours so tonight is going to be interesting because I have not gone to the bathroom like I would. If I still feel bad then I am going to call my PCP Monday because Food poising stays with me for longer.

_________________
Life is like a camera
Focus of what is important
Capture the good times
Develop from the negatives
Take another shot!

Hi All

Incontinence sucks however having been so since my mid teens I have just accepted this as part of who I am. Yes I have incontinence but incontinence does not have me.

Positive

I have found this great community full of kind people.
Don’t have to worry about finding a loo until change time.
Not having to dash out to the loo when watching live sport/shows/films.
Diapers allow me to have as close to a normal life as possible.
The people I have told have been so supportive.

Negative

Constant alert with personal hygiene.
Cost of diapers.
Finding the nearest changing place or location with a shower facility.
Tucking oneself away if out to change in the car or in a private location eg behind a hedge when out for a walk in the wild.

After the obvious fact that "incontinence sucks", I think the stigma / perceived shame / need for secrecy is the second worst negative. We can talk about most health problems with friends and relatives but IC discussion is often limited to doctors and immediate family, if that.

Be that as it may, we carry on. No amount of my complaining will change the need for my new normal.

It does cause me to wonder if IC people would make better spies because of the secrets they must carry.

Hey Chipmunk, did it ever occur to you that living in Washington, and being incontinent are similar? We're often going to be wet. Hehe.

I have stress urinary incontinence plus urgency and my stomach means that I must defecate urgently (thus I do not leave the apartment until this business is done).

Dislikes:
1. the cost of these.
2. the worry about having a fecal accident especially in the pool (I do not wear any swim diaper but time my swims to the late afternoon or evening after most of my food and medications that are hard on the GI system have been processed).
3. the need to sometimes change in public washrooms or changing rooms.
4. the possible bulk of a urine soaked brief especially in the warm weather without winter clothing.

Positives:
1. As a post-menopausal woman I can easily pee in an absorbent brief with nobody knowing.
2. Due to my age I can discuss this issue with the over 55 age group without judgement.
3. I have the sense to wear adult diapers while travelling especially on planes due to turbulence and I will not be the one having an accident on the seat when the seat belt sign is up for a long time.
4. I am so used to purchasing these and nobody makes weird looks due to my age. It is not like I am 20 years old buying these. The marketing of period panties and post-partum panties will help the younger generation purchase incontinence products.
5. I can avoid gross public washrooms as I have an on the go porta potty for urine.
6. I live in an apartment and dispose of these items easily down the garbage chute so I bag them up and remove them from my unit and do not have to wait for garbage collection.
7. I live in an apartment with mostly seniors so this is not embarrassing.
8. I can avoid sketchy public washrooms and possible muggings and assaults.
9. I am a hydrated swimmer so urine leakage is not noticeable and I can laugh, exercise and socialize in the pool without worrying about peeing my pants.
10. By wearing a night time brief for nocturia, I avoid getting up several times a night to pee and I get better sleep.
11. By wearing absorbent briefs I do not have to pop a squat due to urgency. Post-menopausal, it does not take long for me to just 'let it go' and one cough may do it with a full bladder. I view these briefs as a medical accessory like eyeglasses, a cane, medication, sunscreen, sunglasses, etc.
12. I am much more sympathetic to those who need to do discreet public urination in an emergency.
13. I view dumpsters as a positive as they have provided me relief and discretion in an emergency.
14. I love trees and foliage especially female friendly foliage which I call the pee trees and they have had my back on several occasions.
15. I have been able to travel across town on public transit due to absorbent briefs without having a panic attack.
16. The ability to go snow-shoeing without worrying about finding a washroom or discreet place (bush) to urinate.
17. As I age I have much more sympathy for those living with disabilities including age related disabilities. When I was young I did offer my seat to the elderly on public transit but day to day I never thought about aging until it affected me personally.
18. I will never judge anyone who has to pee urgently and as discreetly as possible in the parking lot, in an alley, in park bushes, between cars, on the side of the road because I do understand and I have been there with overactive bladder over the years.
19. Thus far I have been able to afford the cost of absorbent briefs and I can lobby for these products for low income people.
20. The SAP used in these briefs mean you do not feel the wetness as it goes away.
21. I do not panic when I do 'toilet mapping' as I have an insurance policy (absorbent briefs).
22. My clothes are easier to match as my pants, shorts and capris tend to be black.

Menoopause Lady, that was a GREAT post. I can relate to so many of the items you listed. As I am an old man, I might as well have menopause.

--John
(double incontinent)