www.incontinentsupport.org

I was complaining to my wife this weekend about being incontinent and the expense of buying diapers - money that could be used to other things. Its also annoying to plan ahead about bringing diapers before a trip. Being incontinent has its headaches. Her response was to provide a positive spin so she joked about not having to worry about using the bathroom during Covid or a long flight.

This made me think about about how it would be interesting for our community to share about what we hate the most about being incontinent and also any positive aspects of our condition.

Negatives
1. The cost. I spend $100-$200 a month on diapers and supplies
2. Diaper rash
3. All the planning - trips, flights, car rides, hotels, staying overnight at friends and family
4. Inevitable leaks

Positives
1. Don't miss a show, movie
2. Can take the window seat in a plane and sleep without getting woken up by someone who needs to get up and use the bathroom
3. Don't have to worry about where the bathroom is like I used to (this has more to do with increasing my protection to diapers from pads)

fiacs,

Thanks for the challenge.

Negatves:

1. Cost, as you noted.
2. Embarrassment, because of treatment, purchasing supplies, and nosy neighbors.
3. Although I am neither closeted nor eager to display my incontinence in public, the task of managing my situation while imposing minimal disruption to my family and friends and acquaintances can be a real challenge. I manage my GI system with diet and 8-9 medications, but I am not a skilled medical professional. When I goof, I can have a bowel release at any time, with no warning. At such times I can be a diaper lover, if my protection works, or a diaper hater, if it doesn't. This can be quite stressful.

Positives:

If I did not wear protection, I would be forced to live my life chained to a bathroom, and my home would smell like an outhouse. Good, bad, or indifferent, for me incontinence simply is an every day challenge. With covid 19, incontinence makes me more sensitive to the pain and anguish around me, even though it prevents me from actively participating in efforts to ameliorate them.

Given the wounds our poor world must endure now, incontinence, real as it is, is a minor challenge indeed. Compared with everything else, I feel almost a malingerer for complaining.

I can almost understand a dislike question but like? what the hell is that. you like being incontinent?

I use "'like" to keep the title simple and I admit its the the best term to use.
It would be more about having a positive spin or something funny/unexpected about.

For example
Prescription glasses: it keeps the grease out of my eyes when I cook
Hearing Aid: it allows me to not hear my wife ask me to do something.

There isn’t much positive I can say about my incontinence.
I have a paralyzed neurogenic bladder so my bladder basically fills up and releases without warning.
I hate sitting in a wet diaper so I usually change as soon as I have an accident so even if I’m sitting in a movie or something I change right away. It doesn’t help in that regard.

I’ve been incontinent most of my life so I’m maybe clueless but I can say that being incontinent is moderately expensive. Disposable diapers are not cheap, and cloth diaper and supplies investment (and reinvestment) is sometimes shocking.
Washing diapers is not pleasant or cheap.
One UTI after another.
RASHES!

On the other hand, the stress of needing to find a bathroom when out or when traveling is reduced by a lot.
I don’t sense the need to go much anymore, day or night, so I get an amazing night sleep now!
Embarrassing monthly accidents are non-existent.
Sometimes feeling warm, cozy and relaxed in a long flannel nightgown and thick diaper, curled on the sofa next to my loving husband.

I think this pretty well sums it up for me too with the addition of a negative being having to manage protection when you want to go swimming but also a positive of not missing any action at big sporting events.

One additional negative I just remembered was the having to shave the diaper area every few days. Really not much of a bother since I use a small battery powered electric razor but it would be nice not having to do it at all.

I like to focus on the positives:

• Never miss a great movie scene
• No longer care where the restrooms are at the mall/Costco/grocery
• Can mow the whole field without stopping
• Long car rides are not a worry anymore
• Getting out of a snowsuit in a panic is no longer an issue
• I can always let me wife be the first one in the door when we've been out shopping
• Since nobody knows, I can still use the bathroom excuse to leave a boring meeting

_________________
- Tom

Wetdad, I like your attitude! I feel pretty much the same way. Why suffer from incontinence if you can enjoy it?