www.incontinentsupport.org

AB, DL, ABDL, Little, etc....
I buy most of the incontinence items that I need from ACD and CVS. Occasionally, I’m forced to buy from online companies that cater to the ABDL community like quality pins, waterproof pants, and the like. While I browse the site, I note all of the items that are being marketed for those pretending to be a baby or aspire to be incontinent... I know that all here have seen them.
My question is why anyone would want to pretend or aspire to be incontinent? They play their little games but are able to go back to their reality of not needing to wear diapers every day and night of their life!
I guess that it’s a victimless game from their point of view but on the other hand, it sometimes will inadvertently affect those that are dealing with loss of control. It’s the funny looks or the whispering, maybe a line of questioning that you get from a new doctor, like you need to prove that you are truly incontinent... If you look at it in that light, we are the victims! We are forced to live in the shadows to some degree because of a society that doesn’t really understand us, though things are gradually changing with all of the TV and media ads for Depends “briefs” and “protection”. The reality it that what I wear under my clothes is of no concern to most, but it’s funny the energy I waste to hide products so I don’t have to get into the discussion of why I wear a diaper...
At the same time, AB’s, bondage fans, Little’s, etc seem to be “coming out” too, trying to gain acceptance in society, much the same as LGBT people have over the last several years. When you think about it, we shouldn’t need to try at all to be accepted in society. We are not into wearing a diaper for the “fun” of it. We have a medical need, but need to contend with certain social stigmas - still. I guess change takes time. Diapers due to medical need DOES NOT affect masculinity or femininity. Diapers are for nothing more than controlling what our bodies are unable to do. An aid like glasses, hearing aids, etc, yet still widely not covered by most insurance. The way I see it, diapers are for MY comfort and dignity. They also allow me to live in a society that is very judgmental, keeping me from needing to explain a situation that isn’t their business, but also to avoid being “branded”.
Just my Friday evening rant.

Ok its 2 in the morning i can't sleep. Im struggling with a young women 25 years of age that can't come to terms with her incontinence. Racking my brain on how to help her????? (schoppy its nice to be back but O my!


I/we Have spent time talking about this in the past. While I don't want the fetish groups on our site. My thought is hey at least someone thinks we are cool while most of the world condemns us. Why not embrace those who idles us. Yeah i agree its twisted but hey they're not against us!

Some ways i wonder if it weren't for the fetish people out there what would our diaper selection be?? Like it or not there is enough of them out there to make a difference. I remember long before the internet Diapers were very limited in choices. Nowadays it crazy what is out there! I wish the selection i have now was there 30 years ago!

I could go into this more. But thats my basic thoughts. Going back to bed Hope this helps if not tell me how to help a young women to come to grips with her reality

................................Sandy

Thanks Sandy for your input. I wonder what percentage of diaper, pull-ups, pads are sales to incontinent people. My hope is that that number is very high but I suspect that, depending on the product, it might not be. Likely much of the babyish printed products (like Bambino) are marketed to the fetish community. The pads and maybe most pull-ups, I suspect go to mostly light incontinence people. The drug store diapers like Depend, Attends, and the like, I’m just not sure. Premium diapers like Abena, CumfiDry, and the like I suspect mostly go to those in need.... though I’m guessing at all of this. I wear cloth at night (2) and as much as possible during the day (1 or 2) depending on social considerations. I’d like to think that they are used mostly by incontinent, but who knows... Judging from the vast selection of printed plastic pants, -???-.
As for the woman that you are helping, Sandy, my thoughts:
Encourage her to seek out a good doctor. What may not be effective for me/us like drugs and targeted surgery may work very well for her.
Encourage her in the meanwhile to error on the side of over protection vs enduring leakage in public. Coach on product effectiveness, noise, and bulge tricks to make her more comfortable and confident. Clothing selections are also key for confidence.
If voiding is limited to nighttime, that’s pretty easy as it’s mostly only about comfort and protecting furniture.
If it’s daytime leakage, medium to heavy (not flooding!), I found that Tena pull-ups with a Tena Intimates pads work well (but $$) and are much less noticeable compared to a premium diaper (also $$ but usually the better choice). Drug store diapers should be used for light to medium leakage unless a booster pad OR Intimate pad is used additionally, but the noise factor is there.
I hope that any of this is helpful.

I doubt that this issue will ever be resolved. When I first became incontinent, I chanced upon an AB/DL couple, before I even knew what those letters meant. I was in intense but intermittent pain; they coached me on what I would need to do to manage, while my urologist experimented with medications that only made my situation worse. When the couple came out to me, our relationship ceased. However, I still owe them much. Then, following urological procedures, while my wife went to work and we hired caregivers for a day or two, one of the ladies said that my inventory of white diapers and pants was depressing and that I ought to buy printed plastic pants to brighten my day. My family agreed, but I never did. I guess that, because they are underwear, nobody will see them, so what does it matter? And briefs and boxers aimed at the continent male market are coming out in colors and prints, so I should care even less.

I guess that my awareness has amplified over the “many” years of being incontinent and have had a few embarrassing situations.
One occasion that comes to mind and was pretty traumatic for me was at South Padre beach....
Being incontinent, the beach adds some challenges that you don’t normally deal with. First, I avoid swimming as diapers and water don’t mix well. Second, swimwear is problematic as a diaper will show unless you choose the right suit. I’m quite small in height and weight so I’ve always wanted to wear a bikini as a teen on, but there’s no way that works. Fast forward to bottom line, I wear a one piece with a modesty skirt that covers the diaper pretty well. Well, I was walking the beach just into the water and got hit by a rogue wave that pushed me down. I was wearing a cheaper diaper, well tucked into the suit but when I went ito the water, it filled completely. Well, this happened right in front of some college age boys who laughed, said some very hurtful words that cut to the bone. I had to walk a long way back to my husband, passing many who noticed my sagging diaper, again the looks, quiet talking, laughing...
We left there immediately and I cried most of the way home. There have been other occasions that have been embarrassing but I guess over time, I got somewhat less sensitive. Still, when someone laughs at me, questions my need for diapers, or compares me to a baby, that infuriates me!

We've all had our moments Some are funny to think back on. Like the time Jane and I were at a diner eating lunch. Jane looks at me with a face of OMG. I said whats up She whispers I flooded Im leaking bad!!! I said finish your lunch I got this. So we finish Janes acting nervous Thats when I oops Dumped a large glass of ice water in her lap. Jane jumps out of the booth cup goes flying across the hard floor. She runs out to the van I pay the bill People around me are laughing Heck I was laughing also. Get out to the van Jane sitting in it with her pants around her ankles with a blanket over her shivering because its winter. Get back to the house pull in garage. Jane gets out somewhat wrapped in a blanket holding her pants up Meets my husband at the door. He say WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE Jane not missing a beat says Sandy did the glass of water in the lap trick to me at the diner My husband knew full well what that was about. He was laughing I was laughing Jane was in the Bathroom changing . She wasn't laughing. Later on Jane said that was pretty funny But did you have to use so much water YOU KNOW HOW COLD THAT WAS!!!
I said hey it worked no one had a clue what really happen

........................Sandy

Or the time Jane was washing down a boat with me. If you don't know My husband and I own a Marine repair shop. Anyway Jane is bending over this older customer with an IQ of a box of rocks walking by looks at Janes butt say YOU WEAR DIAPERS!! Jane looks at me in horror. I stood up Said YES WE BOTH DO DONT YOU!!! He's stun says NOOOOO I said O Who knew?? He says Sandy your so funny and kept walking

.....................Sandy

I don’t have fun stories to tell, just fragmented events that sometimes makes me silently chuckle...
I was in a parking lot strapping my youngest into his car seat in the back. He drops something on the back seat floor so I just reach down to retrieve it. Short dress, cloth diaper, reaching down and away, two guys walking by watching intently at me.... smiles, laughs, comments back and forth.... They didn’t address me, thank God.
Being heartlessly harassed in school through my senior year. If one person knows, they all know.... I couldn’t wait to graduate and attend college as far away from home as possible. Thinking back, I was VERY timid with few friends. BUT, I excelled. Graduated 9th in my class.
I met my husband in college and after I began to trust him, I opened up about my incontinence.
Soon after, we had amazing fun and shared a closeness that I’ll bet few experience.
Those stories are not appropriate for this forum.

[quote="Ellyn"]I don’t have fun stories to tell, just fragmented events that sometimes makes me silently chuckle...
I was in a parking lot strapping my youngest into his car seat in the back. He drops something on the back seat floor so I just reach down to retrieve it. Short dress, cloth diaper, reaching down and away, two guys walking by watching intently at me.... smiles, laughs, comments back and forth.... They didn’t address me, thank God.
Being heartlessly harassed in school through my senior year. If one person knows, they all know.... I couldn’t wait to graduate and attend college as far away from home as possible. Thinking back, I was VERY timid with few friends. BUT, I excelled. Graduated 9th in my class.
I met my husband in college and after I began to trust him, I opened up about my incontinence.
Soon after, we had amazing fun and shared a closeness that I’ll bet few experience.
Those stories are not appropriate for this forum.[/quote]


those stores are not appropriate?? Don't leave us hanging
....................Sandy

Working in my garden in June in Texas. Hot, bright sun, humid!! I had on a pair of bib overalls - shorts, with double cloth diapers. The lawn is about 3/4 acre, all fenced with 6 foot wood pickets for privacy.
A great friend of mine stops by, rings door bell but I didn’t hear it. She comes around, through the gate, and walks up to me as I was bent over weeding I think. She said hi as she gets close and I spring up with a large butt and diaper bulge in the front.... Stunned, embarrassed, trying to quickly find something the hide behind, but nothing!! That’s when I came out to her. Fortunately she’s a great friend and has kept it quiet I think.
Or the time I ordered two new diapers and two pair of plastic pants that was clearly addressed to me but delivered to a neighbor by mistake (UPS). My neighbor opened the package thinking it was something she was expecting (she claimed) but realizing it wasn’t hers, she calls me and tells me what happened and asked if I was okay.... I lied and said that the supplies were for my husbands mom and nothing more was mentioned.