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So I was out doing errands and should've known I'd have a problem b/c I had a huge strawberry smoothie beforehand. So anyway the urge to go comes and I'm in the middle of a store. I went while pretending I was looking closely at some clothes on a rack. But how do you hide it if you're in front of other people? When I have to go, my eyes water so much I think it's obvious. My pad held up luckily so there were no leaks but I think if someone saw me they could tell from my face what was happening with my eyes tearing up.

Hi ICgirl:
The short answer is to wear protection that you know will handle most anything you can throw at it. I know from your other posts you are quite concerned about being very discreet when wearing protection but I think your recent unfortunate experience today showed the problem with wearing minimal protection. But hey, I do understand. When I first started having significant leakage I was hesitant to use appropriate heavier protection but after a couple significant leaks I found that wearing heavier protection greatly reduced my anxiety, especially when out and about. Remember having a leak is far more embarrassing than someone possibly telling that you are wearing incontinence protection.

Wearing the proper level of protection that you can trust to do its job makes all the difference in the world, after a short while you learn to just relax and not worry when your bladder decides to release and you stop reacting when it happens. As long as you do not react and show consern no one around you can tell you are unexpectedly peeing but you need thicker premium protection for that.

We all started with thiner protection but we learned the hard way wet pants are way more noticeable then a thicker diaper hope you can come to terms with your medical need of proper protection.

Consider wearing shorts/slacks that are at least one size larger than you have worn until now, and use only dark colors that will disguise potential leakage. Wearing your shirt/blouse untucked, outside the waistband of your bottoms will further hide the bulge.

Another thing to remember is that there are thinner diapers that will work just fine for a few full wettings. I know that you see a lot written here about the super premium diapers like BetterDry/Dry 24/7/Northshore Supreme. They are amazing and will take multiple heavy wettings without a thought, but depending on the situation a thick diaper like that isn't always needed. When I know I'll only be out and about for a few hours I'll often wear a lighter diaper like a Tranquilty ATN or even a McKesson Ultra and maybe add a small Northshore booster. I know I can be confident in that protection for 3-4 hours and without much if any evidence that I'm wearing (and using!) a diaper. As others have said, confidence is the key and that comes from wearing the right protection for the given situation.

Thank you all for the feedback. I have to seriously consider switching to DynaDry Supreme pads if this happens again. I just don't know how to hide it on my face and conduct myself like everything is normal while urinating. It's so awkward! I guess it'll take time to get used to it.

icgirl, I think that all you can really do is to give it time, and you will eventually get used to it. Remember that while it may seem totally obvious to you what's going on, the rest of the world probably doesn't have a clue, they are so wrapped up in their own lives that it would probably never occur to them that you might be having an accident. Many times I have been in similar situations with people that I know and no one has ever said a word or given any indication that they might know what is going on. Do I still get embarrassed by the situation? Heck yes, but no one has to know why I'm embarrassed, or even that I am embarrassed. When it happens, keep calm and act normal and no one will ever have a clue.

From personal experience, you never get over the internal feelings when you know that you are having an accident but you do become so that you don't react outwardly. This takes time and self-understanding but eventually if you don't find a medical solution, when you "go" you will continue doing whatever activity you were in the middle of doing, you may KNOW what is going on but you won't react to point that people may think that you are having an accident. Much of that comes from being self-aware that you can't help it, and relaxed enough to not fight something you can't control. This does take time and patience! Others have said that using a thinner product is good And they are correct I personally have my normal diaper for long periods of time but I also use thinner products to be discreet! The trick is knowing beforehand how well and long the product will work for your incontinence. You will need to experiment with each product in the safety of your home to find out each product limits FOR YOU before you gain the needed trust.

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i dont hang my diapers out where they show like a sore thumb but when i comes to wearing them i only get the max ones and wear only the ones and if i have a puffy look to my diaper area so be it i would rather be puffy than have wet spots show

Thank you guys. I ordered the DynaDry Supreme pads from NorthShore today. I've been wearing them this weekend (I have free samples) and they are wonderful. I feel totally protected for my needs and I was able to wear tight jeans over them without anyone knowing I was wearing maximum protection - not even my discerning hubby! They are also so very comfortable and the material is soft. You're right that when you feel fully protected, it gives you confidence. Just urinating in public is going to take a bit of getting used to but like you said, I have to just stay calm and carry on like everything is normal. People are so wrapped up in their own lives they most likely won't be able to notice.