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Because I have to wear either disposables or cloth pull-on diapers and plastic pants, I've been forced to wear dark denim pants 2 to 4 inches larger than my normal size. I do this to hide the bulk of the diaper. I also wear larger shirts that are not tucked in to my pants such as t-shirts, flannel, sweaters. -To make sure the diapers or plastic pants can't be seen if I bend over.

How can I wear better, dressier clothing? Constantly wearing jeans and t-shirts isn't good for my image at work. But if people knew that I wear diapers that would be much worse. (I'm not interested in a discussion on how people shoudl accept me, etc. I would not want anyone to know or suspect and that is the important issue.)

I would like to wear light colored kaki pants like dickies or dockers. Any help? Anyone able to wear a suit without people knowing that you wear a diaper?

I personally do not wear cloth diapers during the day for two reasons; they are bulky and difficult to conceal, and when you need a change you have to somehow store the wet diaper and bring it home to wash. The best thing to do is wear a pair of spandex athletic shorts over a good disposable diaper. The shorts serve three functions; they compress the diaper so it isn’t so bulky and noticeable, they eliminate the crinkle noise from the diaper, and they help hold the diaper up when it gets wet. You can then probably get by with your regular size pants, regardless of whether you are wearing jeans, khakis, or a suit.

That assumes you have a place to change discretely at work, and that doesn’t mean it has to be the men’s room; any place that offers complete privacy will do. I am fortunate enough to have a private office and can close and lock the door if I need to change during the day. That doesn’t raise any questions because I often shut the door when making telephone calls to reduce outside noise. I have changed in a stall in the men’s room, and if someone walks in I simply stop and wait for them to leave before I continue. As far as I know, no one where I work has a clue that I wear diapers, and I do wear dress slacks every day and a suit on occasion.

I usually wear Molicare Super Plus during the day. Its the only thing that can handle sporadic heavy use. Cloth always leaks, even with plastic pants because it can't hold moisture like the gels can.

Other than the spandex shorts, do you do anything else? Sometimes I will have some minor wicking in the crotch area. Any hints? It has taken a lot of trial and error but I finally figured out how to put on a disposable properly so that it fits snugly and will rarely leak. But I don't have complete confidence yet.

do you wear the just the spandex over the disposable? Any plastic pants or other items?

My diapers have a tendency to break up in the rear a concern I have is that the clumping will show. Is this a legitate concern or is there a way to prevent this?

Oh, isn't the spandex 'slipperly'? Do you have any problems with your pants not staying where they should be? (I hope this make sense.)

Lastly, where do you get your spandex shorts and what are your suggestions on sizing?

Thanks, I appreciate your insight.
Thomas

You can get spandex shorts at any athletic store and sometimes at stores like Wal Mart and Target. They do a pretty good job of supporting a wet diaper and will probably also help your problem of the fluff breaking up and clumping.

I just buy the shorts according to my waist size; they stretch enough to get them over a diaper. But I use a thinner diaper during the day like the Molicare Super T-shape. It’s just about as absorbent as the Super Plus and much thinner, but it will swell when it gets wet.

I do not use any absorbent brief or plastic pants over the diaper. I tried that and found it to be worse than not using them. There is sometimes a little dampness around the leg opening when the diaper is wet, which is usually not a problem; but cotton briefs over the diaper allows that dampness to wick onto the briefs which then wind up wet and requires plastic pants. The spandex is not very absorbent and even when it is next to a damp spot, the dampness does not wick onto the spandex. At least that’s been my experience. Whether you need anything else depends on how wet you allow the diaper to get before changing it.

Since I am a bit heavier than normal, my waist is larger than my hips, keeping my pants in position is a problem with or without spandex shorts. But if you have a normal waist – smaller than your hips – you should have no problem.

Before good (European) disposable diapers became available to us in the States, I had to wear cloth under a suit to fancy affairs such as weddings. Now that we have good diapers available, you can experiment to see which fits you best and provides you with the highest level of confidence. It is very likely that you can wear a suit in your usual size.

As for light color casual/dress pants, such as Dockers, no reason at all not to wear them once you gain confidence that the disposable you select is working reliably for you considering what you drink and when you can change it.

And keep in mind, if changing is a hassle (and it usually is) a baby diaper slipped into the crotch of the good diaper can handle 2 to 3 hours of wetting and it is (relatively) easy to pull the wet one out and slide a new one in without untaping or distrubing the primary diaper. Carrying a spare baby diaper or two is much easier than a spare adult disposable.

Be careful to select a baby diaper not too wide in the crotch. A size 4 or 5 may be better than a size 6 for you. Your primary diaper needs to be wider in the crotch than the baby diaper so that if / when the baby diaper overflows, your primary diaper catches that flow. Otherwise you get liquid running down your leg from the crotch area....and that's never a good thing! Ideally you will change out the baby diaper before it overflows, but we all know Murphy's Law and how our plans and intentions often get side tracked.

Thru trail and error and finally the suggestion of my wife, I've found that women's cotton/spandex panties work as well as anything else you might find and cost a third of everything else. Lets face it, the disposables cost enough, you need to wear them I'm guessing, and you want to make them as invisable as possible. Once you decide what your greatest concern is...the diaper or panties, and you give it a fair chance you'll find the panties really work for controlling the noise factor and the bulk showing thru your outer clothing.
The +'s:
Bulk control, noise control, no legline of the riding shorts, colors that will match the outer pants you are wearing, big guys can usually find panties that will fit nice unlike the bike shorts, and the cost is really much less than most other solutions when you get them from Wally World or Fashion Bug.
The -'s:
They are panties and most guys have a problem with that no matter what the +'s are (get over it, you are wearing a diaper remember?)
They can be warmer in the summer months when they hold the plastic pants tight not allowing them the get air circulation (but so does the riding shorts)

Through my years of wearing disposables and plastic pants I've found wearing the panties over them has allowed me to wear just about any clothing I want without fear of anything showing. I honestly believe they help control leaks better since they hold the diaper where it needs to be not allowing any sags or droops.

Just another possible solution from someone who has tried many,

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JC
"I know who I am and what I must do...what everyone else thinks just doesn't matter"

If you are a larger size (44 waist +) the brand DRILLcargo pants are very roomy also the cargo pockets are big enough for a dispoable.

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Adam In Minnesota

As the father of two girls rapidly approching there teen years, LIKE I WAS GOING TO SEE MY BATHROOM ANYWAY.