www.incontinentsupport.org

Where to begin!

At the beginning of this year, I met a guy and over the months have had a great relationship with him.
All has been going well, up until about 2 weeks ago. I saw him over that weekend, and everything
was fine between us.
He has been going through a rough time recently, when a few of his close friends have died, and
he is currently caring for a close friend at the moment, who is in the hospital due to diabetic reasons.
I have been there for this guy, just offering support, mostly just a shoulder to cry on, and to talk through
what he feels.
We were seeing each other almost every day, and now that contact has ended. I have tried phoning him,
but now he never answers his phone. He never picks up his voice mail, so I have stopped leaving any.
Is this relationship, which was so strong at the beginning( we've been together, although have separate houses:
since January of this year) now over, as he hasn't said anything to that degree.

Should I just walk away from this situation or should I try to resolve it? What is the best course of action?

If you share mutual friends or acquaintances, you might approach them. He is going through a difficult time, and should welcome your support. Good luck.

If you don't believe the breakup has anything to do with you then I'd say give him time.

Leave him a message maybe once every day or two to let him know you're still thinking of him. Other than that, give him space till he is ready to come back on his own.

Of course, discretely following up with a mutual friend is probably a good idea too.

Brian,

thank you for your reply! I have left him one message just on voicemail on his phone and one text.
The problem is, he doesn't reply to texts and I don't want to inundate him with phone calls.
If he doesn't pick up when I call, I leave a message, but he never answers to those anyway.

We don't have any mutual friends, so I can't do what you suggested!
I will give him the space, and wait to see if he gets in touch with me.
BUT I Can't help THINKING, that perhaps the relationship is over!
It does hurt, but I am a strong person, and will try not to let it effect me, too much.
Maybe after all the months we've been together, I've just come to expect this and
this is why it hurts now, because that bond seems like it has been severed!

If I don't hear anything from him in the next few weeks, months, then I shall have to bite the bullet,
and accept that it is over!

(quote="aurora borealis) We don't share mutual friends, so I have no one to approach. I have been there, giving him support, since
his friend first went into the hospital.

I've even stopped by his house, a few times to see if he is there, but have never caught up with him. I have now stopped phoning and have had no contact at all.
I am trying to stay strong, and in the hopes that he might phone me. If this doesn't happen, well I think I will have to let him go!
This is causing me such pain, because I do feel rejected, but I understand what he is going through!

Maybe, this relationship has reached its' conclusion, and there is nothing I can do to rectify the situation.
At the moment, it hurts, because I really love this guy!

I'm often told to hope for the best, but expect the worst. Don't give up on trying to stay with him just yet, but do try to be mentally prepared it just might be over.

B Brian,

Thank you for your kind words. I have a gut feeling that it is probably over, but it would have been nice if he had said
something! All I can do is wait, a few weeks, month and see if he contacts me.
On my part, I am not going to attempt contact again, as I will let him do the running! If I don't hear anything, then
I definitely know it is over!
No use in flogging a dead horse, so I will get on with my life. At the moment, I will probably never give my heart to
anyone, ever again. It is just too painful.
I think I will be selfish, and just concentrate on getting stronger. Get back to doing solitary things, that I enjoy!
I don't have many friends in the real world, to turn to for advice and a lot of the time, I am on my own!
So, when I log on here, it is nice to realise I am among friends, even though we have never met.

I will keep strong, and perhaps in time, he will contact me.

Thank you for your support!

All is well! I met up with the guy, and we had a good talk on Saturday! He had been trying to contact me all week, although
I am not sure why none of his calls registered on my phone.
Perhaps, it was because I was continually being bombarded by calls from another friend. This quite possibly stopped his
calls from getting through or registering in my call records.
I am relieved that he still wants to keep our relationship intact, and he told me, he will ring me when he can.
Incidentally, his friend is now out of the hospital and at home, so he wants to be around to help him; but he
said he will phone me when he can!
He also thanked me, for the support I'd given him, through the months his friend was in hospital.
I have a feeling our relationship will become stronger, because of this and maybe having some time away from
each other has done some good.

Thank you B Brian, and Patrick for all your help and support. It is much appreciated!

aurora borealis.

Good news. Keep us informed.

So glad to hear that you're happy with the outcome, A-B. It's been on my mind, small though it is.

_________________
- Tom