Mike,
You are very experienced with incontinence. What I do is very similar to what you have said. When I am at someone's house I usually plan to pack out my used diapers, if possible, and bring enough disposal bags to double-bag the diapers. Otherwise I will double-bag the diapers and put them in their trash bin myself so that my hosts are not bothered. In this case I put the diapers in an opaque plastic bag so that the contents will not show.
Like you, I also take a disposable absorbent pad to change on if necessary and others to ensure that the bed is protected.
--John
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