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Hi all.. new here and nervous
http://www.incontinentsupport.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2631		 Page 1 of 6
Author:  Drew81 [ Thu Jan 05, 2017 1:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Hi all.. new here and nervous
Hi all,

I'm new here and I'm quite nervous.
I've had problems with occasional bedwetting (4or5 times a year) since my teens (I'm now 35). I was seen by my GP and sent for tests as a teenager (it was daily at that point) and told it was due to stress as I was going through exams at the time. When the exams finished it cleared up to around 4 or 5 times a year and only when I'm under a lot of stress.

In the last 3 or 4 weeks though, I've started with daytime incontinence. I'm getting the normal feelings of needing the toilet but where before I could hold on until I got to a toilet, now I get a sudden urge for about 5 seconds then I just wet myself. Obviously I try to get to the toilet as soon as I get the urge but it's not always possible. I'm a creative person running my own business and reguarly I have clients in with me. I can't just run to the loo in front of a client, it's majorly unproffesional and rude. So I've taken to wearing incontinence pads. I tried pull up style pants but they just leaked as when I suffer this I seem to wet a lot. So, I'm using the all in one style pads, specifically ID Slip Super.

I've tried going to the toilet often, although again because I can be with a client for several hours it's not always possible. I don't really want to reduce what I drink as when I do I get headaches.

I'm on the verge of going to my doctor but I'm nervous that they are going to tell me it's just stress again and do nothing more. I'm also worried that if they send me for tests, they won't find anything (they didn't when I was a teen) and they'll brand me a fraud. Has anyone anything they can say to help ease the nervousness? Anything I can do to try and sort this out myself before going to the GP?

Thanks in advance.
Author:  B Brian [ Thu Jan 05, 2017 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
Yeah, don't be afraid, and go to your doctor. In the mean time, maybe keep a voiding log. Include what you eat/drink, and if/when you're feeling stressed at all.

Unfortunately I've heard all to often that minor incontinence problems as a teen or young adult will often come back with a vengeance as we age.

I also know all too well that urge incontinence translates to full bladder emptying (aka flooding). Pads, pullups, and cheap store brand diapers are simply not made to handle rapid wetting or large volumes.

And yeah, I also know most urologists are quacks who don't care about what really is going on with you (and usually just push more pills). I had also gone nearly 15 years with clear incontinence problems but never had a single test prove it. It can be frustrating, but doesn't mean something isn't actually happening. You just have to stick with those follow up appointments and maybe wish for a little luck too.
Author:  MikeInSF [ Thu Jan 05, 2017 2:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
Hi Drew,

I feel you anxiety about being with clients and the uncertainty of wetting yourself. I've had urgency issues for a couple of years now that result in occasional leaks. But just because the leaks are occasional doesn't mean the fear/stress isn't there every time an urge hits... My solution has been to simply wear a full-blown, tape-style diaper when I'm with clients. The protection they offer is vastly better than a pullup, and one good diaper can almost always get me through an entire visit.

On other days when I'm out I find I can get by with just a pullup, if I know I'm likely to be able to get to a bathroom regularly (never pass up the opportunity to use a restroom). The pullup affords me the ability to use a restroom and protects against moderate leaks should they occur. On the other hand, a diaper feels more "locked in", and a commitment for me. I haven't found a way to easily use the restroom while wearing a diaper, but others here have.


You should see a doctor about the change in your bladder control, specifically a urologist, not just a GP. Your daytime symptoms sound like OAB, but could be something more serious. If your doctor blows you off, find another one.

There are medications available that help with OAB. They don't work for everyone, and for a lot of people the side-effects are not worth it, myself included. But that decision ultimately lies with you.


Know that you are not alone, and your problems are not unique. There are a lot of people here who have been down this road and have lots of experience they are willing to share.
Author:  Patrick [ Thu Jan 05, 2017 5:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
Welcome.

You cannot stop living while your doctor(s) sort this out, so, meanwhile, begin experimenting with different styles and brands of protection. Your urologist may prescribe a medication that works for you, and has minimal or tolerable side effects. If so, wonderful. If not, you will need to manage. As for saying that stress is the cause of your difficulty, I could not agree more. If the doctors who tell you that your incontinence is caused by stress were to experience even one episode of incontinence in public, they would suddenly understand what stress really is for us. Finding reliable, discreet protection can be an arduous task, but it is worth the effort. Good luck.
Author:  batman381327 [ Thu Jan 05, 2017 11:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
Welcome to the club Drew. You will find a wealth of information here along with a place to vent and understanding. At the end of the day you need to do what is best for you.
Author:  RetiredRN [ Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
Drew

Yes, you need to see your doctor. As suggested in another post, keep a voiding log and talk to your doctor about what you find out. This log should keep track of what time you void and how much. If you can't measure the amount you can note “small” “medium” “large” etc.

When you talk to your doctor insist on a plan of care. Remember you are in charge and deserve treatment. Be professional when you ask for a solution to your incontinence. Follow the advice you are given and if you do not get good results go back and ask for a different plan of care. It may take several tries before you find what works for you.

I also suggest that you wear a premium diaper. The best one I have found is ConfiDry 24/7. I buy mine from XP Medical. They last me for at least 8 hours.

You can ask any question here on this board we all want to help.

Finding out what works for you can be a lot of trial and effort. Once you do find a solution your quality of life will be great. I wear a diaper at all times and do any thing I want, it dose not slow me down in any way.
Author:  RobertH [ Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
Hi Drew

Welcome to our group, remember you are not alone in having to deal with bladder issues, make an appointment with your doctor so you can ask for a referal to an urologist.

talking about and dealing with incontinent issues is embarrassing at first but in time it will get easier. I second the recommendation on the Confidry 24/7 diapers they work great and you can trust them to so thier job. Taped premium diapers work way better then pads or Pullups.
Author:  Drew81 [ Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
Hi all,

Wow, thank you so much for the welcome and the advice. It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in this. I kind of ridiculously assumed that incontinence was either the bed wetting I've had before or continual leaking, not getting the sudden urge and then flooding that I'm experiencing (sorry for being naive). Someone mentioned OAB, I'm off to do some research and to find out what exactly that is, what it means for me and if the symptoms fit. I'd quite like to go into my GP with some knowledge behind me so they can't fob me off with rubbish.

So far I've found that the all in one nappy style protection I'm using is adequate to contain my leaks. I just hate the cost of them (they are really not cheap and I'm not sure I can afford this long term).

I'll go do some google searching on how best to keep a voiding diary and I'll make an appointment with my GP.

Thanks all, you've given me many things to think about.
Author:  B Brian [ Fri Jan 06, 2017 10:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
OAB, Over Active Bladder, is really just a code urologists use that mostly means "something is going on, but we don't know what".

They use this term for a wide range of possible problems, mostly just so they can sound like they know what they're doing.

You'll likely get diagnosed with oab at first, which is good since they are saying they recognize you have a problem. With luck, many tests, pills, and appointments, you'll one day get an actual diagnosis.
Author:  Drew81 [ Fri Jan 06, 2017 11:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hi all.. new here and nervous
B Brian wrote:
OAB, Over Active Bladder, is really just a code urologists use that mostly means "something is going on, but we don't know what".

They use this term for a wide range of possible problems, mostly just so they can sound like they know what they're doing.

You'll likely get diagnosed with oab at first, which is good since they are saying they recognize you have a problem. With luck, many tests, pills, and appointments, you'll one day get an actual diagnosis.


Thanks. A diagnosis and then treatment would be nice but for the moment something to just limit the occurances and some help with protection would be good. Hopefully diagnosis and treatment will happen eventually.

From the research I've done today (and the reading around on here), it seems that a lot of people don't actually get the issue resolved, they just live with incontience permanently :(
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