www.incontinentsupport.org

So I'm really trying not to give in and wear a tape on diaper all the time, but the pull ups aren't really cutting it anymore. I have some questions.

I have urge incon from OAB. I don't have urges or leaks every time I urinate. It's only like 20-30% of the time. What's changed is that now when I do have urges they more often result in leaks, and the volume of the leaks has increased. Hard to estimate but I'd say I can lose anywhere from 6-10 ounces and it happens quickly. It overwhelms the pullups and I've have a few embarassing leaks.

So my first question. How do you guys handle urinating the rest of the time? Just pull your diaper down and the pull it back up? Seems like it would result in the diaper becoming loose. Or do you just always go in your diaper even if you don't really need to? Purposely using my diaper when it's not truly needed would be more convenient I suppose but I'd feel weird about it.

Secondly, Can you recommend a good daytime diaper? I prefer plastic backed and need discretion in terms of bulk, BUT I need confident protection. I need to KNOW I can lose 10+ ounces quickly and I'm not going to have wet pants.


I'm trying to decide what to do. Wearing diapers at night was hard enough for me and I'm finally coming to terms with that. I really don't want to be in diapers during the day. Because of the fact that only 20-30% or my urinations are urgent/leaky, I'm feeling like I'm unsure if a full diaper is really needed.

My biggest concern really is at work. Diapers make a lot of noise when changing and our men's room is quite busy.

I would say probably up to about a third of the time I leak too. I just hate worrying so much about leaks and urges. I also kinda dislike wetting much of the time but actual full on tape briefs are far more comfortable and secure compared to useless pull ups which feel like wearing a scatchy piece of paper.

During like lunch break I go to use the toilet and change. I Bring like a small plastic bag or tote bag for those supplies along with wipes and no rinse cleanser and stuff.
But throughout most of the day I am quite busy and just use it as needed and may take a potty break again in afternoon. I know how long my diaper lasts generally and do quick check like every hour or so.
As a guy there are a number of options - you can wiggle out your fire hose through the leg opening or depending on your diaper and body size, wiggle it down. Or if you have a refastenable brief I prefer to untape like one side to do my business if I got the bm or whatnot. It is however prudent to carry some tape on you though.
I find it help me better deal with my various anxieties and keeps things a bit simpler and less stressful. Having diapers and a general routine helps me kinda deal with it all in a more "zen like fashion"
And also God forbid when I get a Panic attacks - the last thing I want to be doing is running to bathroom and the increased anxiety of finding toilets etc.... (a lot of time I can't even move during those attacks though my urges and whatnot come back. Very weird - and frankly more debilitating than embarrassment of diapers themselves.)
I had a numbe4 of more horrifying accidents during those states of panic - and some of them I was foolish for wearing only thin pull up pad or none at all...
Ps if you are concerned with the sounds then use like a plastic pants. That pretty much makes them mute

I can fully relate to your predicament, and have been there done that. Yes with many diapers you can pull the front of it down to pee, then pull it back up again. You are right this stretches it and makes the fit looser. Just wear a good pair of pants (jeans are best) for supporting the diaper. And while onesies work even better they don't exactly allow you easy access to pull the diaper down.

As far as bulk and noticability. A thick diaper that has done it's job is WAY less noticeable than a thin one that's leaked. Go with the bulkier diaper, and try not to worry about anyone noticing it. They really don't. I've worked in the same office for 13 years and always use thicker diapers. The only one person who knows is because I told him.

Edit, oh and my own experience was my urges just kept getting more and more intense. Their intervals kept getting closer too as my bladder slowly shrank from not holding it after an urge. Even if you're trying not to use the diaper all of the time, you should consider wearing one all the time anyways (at least that's what it sounds like you're up against with those random urges). One plus though, as the frequencies increase, the amount you flood will decrease which will allow your diaper to work better with fewer and fewer leaks.

Pretty much. You will need a diaper with micro-hook tabs. These can be fastened and unfastened an infinite number of times without compromising the diaper's structural integrity. Personally, I find that I can unfasten my trousers, pull down the top, left tab, and then go. Once you get the hang of it you'll be able to do it quickly and discretely. The tabs make a velcro-like sound when they unfasten. If that's going to cause a problem for you, you can always find a stall.


Yeah, I know what you mean. Guys have different approaches to this. Personally, I set specific void times during the day (when I wake up, before showering, after lunch, etc.). In between those times, I give myself permission to use the diaper. My incontinence is caused by prostate problems. I tend to have many small-volume voids throughout the day, and a few larger ones. I time it so that I use the bathroom for the larger ones.


My incontinence is a little different than yours in that I don't have these big floods you mention. You might consider cloth-backed diapers for daytime use. They are lighter, quieter, and have better ventilation. If you stay hydrated and change before the point of saturation, you will not have odor problems. Personally, I use the Abena M2. They have the micro hook tabs I mentioned earlier. I think the M2 could definitely handle ten ounce voids without leaking, though it would depend on your particular flow rate. At a minimum, I recommend that you experiment with the Abena M2, M3, and the Northshore Air Premium. The M3 is like the M2, but thicker.

Noe

I'm in a similar situation, so I definitely feel your pain. When I am able to use the restroom, I'll normally pull down the front of my diaper to take care of business. If I do notice it getting a little loose , then I'll just adjust one of my dual layer tapes and then go on my way, no big deal.

As far as daytime diapers go, I would definitely recommend NorthShore supreme lites, they should be more than adequate for your needs, and they do wick wetness really well. Good luck to you as you make this transition.

Thanks everyone. I think I'm going to give seni pullups and northshore pullups a shot first. I don't know what difference it makes, a diaper is a diaper but I'm just really hung up on wearing real diapers all the time. Just when I felt like I was getting to a good place and making peace with having to wear diapers to bed my day time issues are getting worse. It has me in a pretty dark place right now. Feeling really down over this

All the cloth backed diapers I have tried are pretty crappy except for the northshorecare cloth backed diapers. The problem I have with the cloth backed diapers is that they are more difficult to fasten snugly as the tapes seem to fall off a lot more and you can't use duct tape to reinforce it as well. Also the cloth backed briefs tend be more expensive. But they are marginally more quieter than plastic backed ones.

MikeJames

Try not to dwell on your condition getting worse, its not worth the stress you put on your self, incontinence unfortunately for the most of us gets worse over time and some times nothing can me done medically to correct it so we just have to accept and move on with our lives.

If you are experiencing large voids you really need to switch to a absorbent fast wicking diaper (Taped) I wear Confidey 24/7's and recently Foresites AM / PM diaper 24/7 no one has ever noticed or said any thing. Since I have no choice but to wear I would rather wear a premium thicker diaper I can trust rather then a thinner diaper or pull up I can't trust just to try to be more discreet.

Pullups really do not work well for floods are are a pain to change when out and about. you have stated you are experiencing leaks so its time to bite the bullet and up your protection level to something that works.


after a while you won't even think about your diaper and having to change as it will become part of your daily routine, we all agree diapers are something we would love to eliminate from our lives but the reality is its not possible for most of us at this time. until the medical profession can come up with a solution to keep our pants dry 100% of the time diapers will be with is for the foreseeable future.

Do your self a favour start wearing your taped diapers 24/7 to deal with your bladder issue there is no shame in needing protection.



Rob

MikeJames, I can't echo enough what Rob just said. Pullups are not designed for floods, and absolutely will leak on you as you have already been experiencing.

You need better protection, but try not to let that get you down. I know it's easier said than done (we've all been there), but that's what we're here for. To show you it's not that bad to live with this, and to help you get through it too.

I use Seni Quatro, which are cloth backed, at night and I think they're great. I've had samples of Abena and Northshore cloth offerings and I hate them. The Senis are the only cloth backed diapers that aren't pure crap in my opinion. Still, I very much prefer plastic.