www.incontinentsupport.org

So, not sure where to start but tomorrow is my 12th Wedding Anniversary and it was my wife's turn to plan our date. We alternate and have fun trying to surprise each other. Anyway, she scheduled a pedicure, though I'm not sure how I feel about that. I was raised with certain conceptions of gender roles and men did NOT mess with pedicures. And then, after that she has us scheduled for a couples massage. This sounds great, I feel like I could use one but here is the rub....

The massage place says you get down to your skivvies for this, and there is no going back or hiding a diaper. With no warning, I don't have the time to dehydrate enough to skip the diaper so.... Ugh, what to do? Has anyone been there, done that? Help, before I give myself a heart attack!!!

_________________
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius

Wow I have no advice to give because Im not married or even in a relationship but you have my sympathies porkchop. I hope you can work something out!

Well, the good news is that my marriage is going great and there are no issues on that front!!

_________________
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius

My wife has rheumatoid arthritis in her feet, so I give her four pedicures each year. She loves them, and with good reason. As for the couples' massage, your wife knows, so why not simply be upfront with the masseuse? Explain your situation honestly, and go from there. And, have a well-stocked diaper/gym bag handy at all times.

We carry a well stopped diaper bag so that isn't the issue, I just try to hide it from the world. Guess I will have to consider that, it would hurt my wife's feelings if I back out.

_________________
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius

As the kids say, awkwaaaaaard. I'm guessing they are professionals and see things like this all the time. I'd call the place, explain the situation, and ask how they recommend handling it. If they are welcoming and accommodating, then go for it. If they give off an "ewwww" vibe, then maybe make other plans.

Noe

That's a good idea, I will try to call in the morning when they re-open!

_________________
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius

Noe, that was great advice as my wife has hinted numerous times about getting a couples massage. Sometimes, I think she forgets I have to wear diapers or she does things to get me out of my comfort zone.

Porkchop, My wife talked me into a pedicure and a manicure earlier this year. It was different and nice having my feet massaged with the added plus of not having to bend over to cut my toe nails. I was a little concerned at first as my wife didn't tell me about the hot tub of water I would be sticking my feet in. Luckily, I guess being hot my bladder didn't react. The downside was the cost for both of us and like you I grew up with gender specific roles. So for now I leave that stuff to my wife to enjoy and I just clip my own nails.

My wife and I did exactly this last year!

Honestly I though the pedicure was a waste since there is no way the rough skin and nails on my feet can be fixed or treated at this point. Just tell them to focus on damage control and to skip the nail polish.

As for the massage, I get those all the time. Just go diapered, and don't worry about it. Every therapist I've been to had been totally professional, and my diaper often never even comes up.

@Batman: Yeah, I had issues with the water for that very reason..... it was warm!! They only did my feet, which felt great. The down side, they rubbed all my callouses off so now my feet are super sensitive. But another good side, my pinky toe which was ugly (it got trench foot while I was in the army) now looks almost normal! How long that lasts? Dunno, but for now....

@Brian: The massage was nice, I wore a guard instead of a diaper and it leaked... The sheet was damp, but if they noticed they didn't comment. Since they strip the whole table each time, they just pulled the sheets off in bulk so you couldn't tell. I got the feel like the diaper would be a non issue though, so next time I will just wear a thin diaper and change immediately afterwards.

Overall, the only part I didn't like was they shaved the callouses too close so I've a tiny nick on my foot. Also, the massage was great but the oil felt gross after requiring a shower.

_________________
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius