www.incontinentsupport.org

In the Open Invitation thread, I was struck by the last thing LtsofQues says about if it works and saves you from a bad situation (probably not an exact quote). It lead me to think about what I look for in protection, and what others may look for.

I conceded that my usual protection, Depend adjustable, is not always the most absorbent, and that the elastic on the legs has a tendency to wear out. That's what I don't like. On the other side, I like the pullup feature as it makes it easy to use a toilet when possible. I also like the fact that it has tapes, and can be torn open at the side to be put on like a diaper with tapes, which is far better for changing at work than having to take off your shoes and pants. I haven't yet found anything else that is "convertible" in that sense. They are also very thin and noiseless, therefore unnoticable to most.

So I choose them for work. I'd like more absorbency, but the trade offs would be more bulk and less convenience, and I'm not sure I could live with that. What do you look for?

Hey Rocketman!

My first priorty is protection. I can usually hide the bulk of my full brief diaper pretty well. Sometimes with certain pants it may tend to show a little, but for the most part, you can't tell I have a diaper on. I really believe most people are not looking at your butt or crotch to see any kind of bulk. Maybe only the freaks, but what do they know? Thanks for your topic!.................Paul Martin

Abena seems to be the quietest heavy disposable that will work for school. After much self conciousness and having been slow to accept the fact that you'll come across the ocasional stare or suspecting person, these things are bound to happen. Beginning to care less and less, anyone else reached that phase?

I'm more of a cloth person at home and at night, for comfort, absorbency, and reliability. but during the day I use Tena super, during regular days, molicare for the heavy times, and Tena ultra, or Attends ten for light times, or the summer months when I need to change more often, to keep the rashes and skin from breaking down. I find that if I use a mix of protection, it lowers the risk of skin break down.
Take care all.

I agree with Paul, protection is the single most important thing. We wory about bulk or noise or whatever but the greatest concern is that the diaper we are wearing will fail at a bad time. What a way to live huh? After 4 years in diapers it still drives me nuts. And it seems we all keep seeking the perfect solution only to find out there is none. Papa

That's a good point. There never is a perfect solution. You just have to feel successful for doing the best you can. Most people would prefer bulk over leaks, and that's just the main goal. You can't always have it both ways. I wonder if people worry more when they first realize they have to use protection and then it just becomes routine. For example, the worker that gave a discerning look had me feeling selfconcious. Eventually I figured why waste time worrying about soemone being rude or nosy. That's the way it seems, anyway. Many times this problem has more emotional strain that physical, and its worse if you pay too much attention.

[quote="LtsofQues"]That's a good point. There never is a perfect solution. You just have to feel successful for doing the best you can. Most people would prefer bulk over leaks, and that's just the main goal. You can't always have it both ways. I wonder if people worry more when they first realize they have to use protection and then it just becomes routine. For example, the worker that gave a discerning look had me feeling selfconcious. Eventually I figured why waste time worrying about soemone being rude or nosy. That's the way it seems, anyway. Many times this problem has more emotional strain that physical, and its worse if you pay too much attention.[/quote]

You're correct...it seems that one reaches a point where you realize intellectually that you're managing the problem well, but your emotions haven't quite caught up yet, so you end up feeling bad about yourself when you wouldn't need to.

As far as worrying that others will notice that you're wearing underwear that's out of the ordinary, try this mental exercise: When you're out and about how much do you notice what other people are wearing? Especially before you started having incontinence problems? If you're like most of us, probably not so much...

That's another good point. Most times you don't notice what other people are wearing. There may be some times when someone does notice, but why worry about it. It is a waste of your energy, and most of the time you don't know them anyway. If the majority of people don't notice then you've done a good job of concealing. The mental excercise is a good way to release alot of daily stress.

Hi all enjoyed the posts when I frist started having incon. a few yrs back fear was at the top of my list but now security is the #1 reason the accidents were far the worse times.I don't care if someone see's a bludge at least I'am secure to a point.