www.incontinentsupport.org

I live in a Supported Living environment with three other people in the household who all have various disabilities primally Autism. I have my own bedroom. I have to take strong antipsychotics which I think is the cause off my incontinence and some time ago and I have resorted to wearing pads (diaper type) because of some really embarrassing accidents, it's just got progressively worse now I have a dribble here and there and every time I do any minimal excise I leak so pads (I hate calling them diapers) was the only solution I could think off and things had been working okay, I'm very discreet and nobody knew about my problem, I managed my deliveries when nobody is at home once monthly and you can imagine these are pretty big packages, kept really clean, disposed off my used pads directly etc.

I got admitted to hospital 6 weeks because of my Schizoaffective disorder playing up and the delusions came back with avengence so I got carted back to the local learning disability hospital to change meds. During the admission meeting I had to be very open about my incontinence and matter of fact, the hospital treated me with respect and listened and didn't make a big issues off it. They had to tell my support staff here at my supported living house to fetch enough pads and bring them to the hospital along with my clothes which they did. You know what they did? They only bought 3 packets with full Tena Flex logo written all over it without them covered.

I have some concerns that everybody now knows. How should I handle it, just be brazen and brush it off. I'm concerned about my housemates knows and laughing behind my back and now I feel inferior to some male staff here.

I honestly believe a major part of your problem here is that you "hate calling them diapers". You are in a prolonged denial phase (I've been there too), and with this you are still embarrassed to need "diapers".

Shakespeare was wrong, and a rose called stink-weed will most certainly not smell as sweet. You need to come to terms with what they are, and accept your situation for what it is. Only then will you be able to truly be "brazen and brush it off".

....so shirt answer. Yes you should. Unfortunately that's a lot harder done than said.

As for your hospital stay. I'm sure everyone involved was more concerned about you than they were about your diapers. You are the one making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Please try to nit worry about if others know so much, and focus on getting better.

In a hospital (or doctor's office) wearing a diaper is a non event. When they called your support staff to bring you pads, you should call then diapers, it was just a natural thing for them to do. As I said a non event to them.

Please try to call your pads what they really are, a diaper. I have to wear a diaper 24 / 7. I have accepted this and not let it embarrass me. My wife knows and I have told only one other person, a good friend, about my need for diapers. He is also very supportive

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RetiredRN

I'm not sure what you call them really matters. Yeah, they ARE diapers. But even the manufacturers of most brands call them briefs. Most doctors call them pads. In Europe they say "incontinence pants".

At first I avoided the word diapers, but I'm over that. I wear diapers to bed. Whatever. I don't see any harm in calling them briefs or pads though.

I'd also be a little annoyed that people wouldn't have the common sense to put something like that in a bag. If you'd asked them to bring you some clothes from home or even just underwear they'd almost certainly have packed you a bag. I don't think you're wrong for being annoyed by this.

That said, I think you need to get over it. Easier said than done, but it looks like the cat's out of the bag now. Likely your diapers aren't a secret anymore. The group home staff certainly should not be telling anyone who didn't already see them, but chances are everyone knows. Honestly, you'll probably come to see this as a big weight being lifted...Not having to keep secrets is generally very relieving.

I don't wear 24/7, only at night and only pull ups in the day but only when I know I'll be away from restrooms. I've been very worried (maybe needlessly) that my problem will progress to needing full diapers 24/7. Others finding out (family, work, friends) is what would really worry me....but reflecting on it, I think everyone finding out would be very relieving in a lot of ways. Hiding stuff is stressful, and most of the people around me are good people. I think most would not care and generally be supportive.