www.incontinentsupport.org

Simple solution,....wear the necessary level of protection needed and move forward.

as John has stated having thenright level of protection is a must, once you find a premium propper fitting diaper you can trust having accidents infront of people becomes no issue over time.

for me I wear dry 24/7's then underware over top of my diaper then plastic pants. this combo has helped to keep my pants dry.

once you trust your diaper to do its job, and you no longer react to accidents people around you will never know your are peeing.

Trufitgirl,

A certain level of protection is logically necessary for our level of incontinence. However, I, and many others in this group, often wear a level of absorbency that goes a little beyond what we probably will need.

This "overkill" in absorbency is what I usually do when I will be in public. It may be in the form of a heavier diaper than I may need, an extra booster pad, or simply planning to change earlier than I need to in order to reduce the risk of a leak. The overkill is what I do both for emotional reassurance and as a practical measure against the likelihood of having public accident.

Then, as Rob and the other "John" have said, I trust my protective measures and get on with living my life without worrying about it .

And, if you have that accident - and we all do so from time to time - your loved ones will understand. The public will not really care. Just clean up and move forward without dwelling on it.

--John

trufitgirl1221,

Welcome.

In addition to the excellent suggestions, above, you might consider wearing dark colored slacks, and keeping a gym/diaper bag handy, with all the supplies you will need in case of an accident. Just knowing that I have everything I will need in the back of my car in case of an accident is a huge relief. Good luck.

I'm with JD. I can usually get by ok with a pullup/pad combination, and do usually at work. I prefer a full regular diaper when I am at home and not in the workplace.

Hi trufitgirl,

After posting my rant here last week about my frustrations and anxiety about accidents while out and around friends, I took the advice of others here and began a short experiment with wearing protection 24/7. Well, really 16/7 for me, since I don't have problems at night...

I'm still working on learning to trust the protection I wear, and dealing with a different form of anxiety: Do they know I'm wearing a diaper? Both of which, I suppose will ease with time and familiarity.

As WetDad suggested in another forum, it is a bit counter-intuitive, but after only 5 days I've learned it's not horrible wearing a diaper all day, and there is some level of comfort knowing that a random leak isn't going to feel like the end of the world. And there's the added bonus of not having to run to the bathroom every every time you feel a minor urge to pee....

So, if you're not already, I would also suggest wearing an appropriate level of protection all the time, at least for several days to get the feel for it. You should, at least, be able to gain some confidence that others won't notice and an accident is no longer a big deal.

Hi, This may sound a bit odd, but when I am out and about and have an accident with some new product, I'll continue to wear it if I can get home and use it till I find the leak capacity. Once I know what it can take I have a little more security when I have to go out and trust that product.
I have a pretty good idea of what my problems are and what I need from a diaper. So it's pretty easy to keep discrete once you know the limits of a product.

Mike, "16/7" - I love it!

Ted, very true about needing to determine your own diaper's limits. The advertised ratings are useful to compare the absorbency of one diaper to another, but do not tell us how it will really perform when we are wearing it.

--John

Like other people have said, the best way to manage this is to talk with your doctor (I imagine they would be more helpful to women after childbirth) and wear adequate protection that meets your needs. Its tough to get used to at first, but it gets easier as time goes on. The benefit of wearing protection, no matter how it makes you feel, is that the anxiety regarding unexpected accidents or surges goes away.

All good advice. I also like to add that a thick diaper that has done its job is way less noticeable and way less embarrassing than having to wear wet pants in front of others.