www.incontinentsupport.org

I have a chronic form of Schizoaffective Disorder and am currently perceived Abilify (aripiprazole) 400mg monthly depot injection to stabilise my symptoms. Since taking Abilify my continence seems to have taken a steady decline to the point I'm wearing all-in-one-pads now which I'm finding really embarrassing. It started with a slow after dribble when using the toilet where I would leak into my trousers, strong urges to urinate where I would just about make it to the toilet, then the urges got stronger and I would leak while running to the toilet, then I would notice my trousers wet where I have leaked without noticing.

I have resorted to wearing pads to stop the embarrassing wet patches but feel I'm becoming to reliant on them. I told the community learning disability nurse who is my care-coordinator about my continence issues when I was drunk over the phone but when she came out to see me I clammed up and didn't want to speak to her about it, I was too embarrassed. She said I need to see a continence adviser and its nothing to be embarrassed about.

I have read that Abilify can cause Incontinence issues but am reluctant to change medication because of hospitalisation from mental health deterioration but feel my continence is getting worse.

I think I'm becoming lazy and not exercising the muscle properly because wearing the pads had become too easy, do you think that being lazy can worsen my continence issues, like becoming too reliant on them?

Hello, and welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your issues. It is really easy to blame yourself for your incontinence issues, and feel it is completely in your power to change it. Its also very easy to get into that mindset that you aren't doing enough to stop it, or you are becoming too reliant on your protection and feel weak because of it, and go back into the cycle of hating yourself and blaming yourself because of it. As someone with cptsd, I can relate to the feeling of intense criticism of yourself for being lazy as well as feeling as if incontinence has reduced your sense of agency, causing you to do anything within your power to stop the issues and be very critical of yourself if it does not get the desired results. However, it is a very self-destructive thought pattern that stresses you out and makes issues both mental and physical more volatile.

You are wearing protection for a reason. It doesn't make you less of a person, it doesn't make you lazy or gross. I'm sure you know that the only thing you can do is your due diligence. Do your bladder exercises and take your medication as your doctor orders, and trust the protection that you wear. I am not sure if being "lazy" can worsen your issues, but blaming yourself and stressing yourself out over them certainly can and will, and you will feel like a failure and get into a crappy mood for it.

Perhaps talking about it with a continence adviser will help eradicate or at least make your symptoms more manageable while taking your medication, as well as talking to your counselor about it. I hope this was helpful.

I hope this was helpful. Good luck.

Hello,
It is easy to blame yourself, for me I played the blame game it will not get you any wear. I have learned to use good protection, and live life to the fullest.

It certainly is possible for the mind to unconsciously and subconsciously adapt to using diapers more and more, even when you consciously do not want to. However, I have yet to see a single person who became incontinent from alone just being "lazy". There is -always- something else going on which leads to it. In your case it seems the medication is the culprit.

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and the only real way you will be able to overcome it is by opening up to your doctors about it. Besides, nurses and doctors so commonly see people with incontinence issues that you be surprised how many have it one point or another. Heck, I've heard numbers as high as 1 in ever 3 people.

Don't let the fear of how others might react, prevent you from seeking the help you need. Especially with nurses and doctors who are bound by confidentially laws.

Hi and welcome to the forum. I tried to post this yesterday, but had a technical issue.

Speaking from my personal experience, I don't think that wearing incontinence protection makes incontinence worse or causes people to get lazy. Pads/pulll-ups/briefs simply make incontinence easier to manage and less anxiety-provoking.

Kegel exercises are effective for both men and women, however, one must continue doing them, as the beneficial results are not permanent. The upside is that they're not physically demanding, don't require exercise equipment, multi-task well, and they're free.

I think it's a good idea to talk with the continence adviser and/or the doctor who prescribed the Abilify. Maybe there's a different medication out there that will be just as effective for your mental health issues, but that doesn't exacerbate your bladder leakage.

Wetters

I do not think that wearing protection makes me lazy. I have found that I dribble less when I wear a pad. I am considering upping the level of protection as I have suffered more than just dribbles lately.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. The trick, if we can manage it, is to become our own best friends, our own advocates, without becoming arrogant or self-righteous. As society at large is becoming more open and the stigma diminishes, we need to reduce the stigma and its effects within our selves. Good luck, and welcome to our group. I hope you will find support and useful advice here.

Thank you everybody for your replies!

I can only relate my experience. I mostly have urge incontinence, a sudden surge of pressure that I can only resist for a few seconds. And trying not to wet myself hurts, I think anyone here who has been to the urinary breaking point knows what I mean about pain. I also have a job that does not allow me to even try to get to a restroom for long stretches. I used to try and fight this every time it happened, finding my days long and uncomfortable. Over time I unconsciously started to fight it less. My sub conscious started to.tell me "you are not going to be able to hold it anyways, why fight it and lose, and be uncomfortable"? So yes, for me it has increased over the last 6-7 months. I'm not sure if I am lazy, weak, or if this is normal. But I know I will lose the battle anyways, so I have weakened my attempts not to wet.

Wanting to live without pain is NOT a sign of weakness or laziness. It is human nature. So why be so surprised when we follow out nature and choose the path of least pain? Seriously, if you know then please let me know. I once chose the pain route as well only to end up wetting myself without a diaper. I've learned better since then, but why I tried denying the obvious back then is still a mystery to me.