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New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
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Author:  massacrew [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 12:34 am ]
Post subject:  New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
Well i am new here, but i am not new to the lovely issue of incontinence which in the past year or so has been well a roller coaster and a extremely embarrassing one at that.. Saw a urologist diagnosed me with urge and sent me off with the most expensive meds she could which of course insurance said no way. So after a kerfuffle we all finally settled on detrol and pads after all that i was sent away and told there was nothing more they could do. From then at least until now medication for the most part has allowed me to avoid pads. But now i’m back to that all familiar urgency, frequency), and leakage. This is a very difficult thing for me to accept at 32 years of age i never thought that i would be dealing with this sort of thing. But at this point i’ve got to make a choice and before i do i figured i get some of your thoughts. Being disabled and on state insurance with their stupid rules they do not consider urge incont worthy of a urologist go figure.. So with that said i feel like i am at a crossroads, do i fight for another type of med, or do i give up and just got with a pad 24/7? I am really torn, but honestly this going to to the bathroom extremely frequently is tiresome as is worrying about embarrassing myself in public. I guess i just never thought i would end up in this situation.
Author:  matthewmeto [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 12:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
Hello. Welcome. I'm relatively new here (and to this issue) as well. I wound up switching to guards at all times due to me not wanting to go to the doctor to help avoid accidents. Unfortunately, I'm still in the process of figuring out what works and what doesn't. I also have issues with going to the bathroom frequently. Although the pads were not the best, they were a lot better than my normal underwear for keeping my pants dry and keeping me relatively comfortable and modest. I would highly suggest them, as they'd give you some peace of mind.

Just letting you know you're not alone!
Author:  RobertH [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 6:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
Welcome to the fourm,

As Matthew has said you are not alone in dealing with bladder issues, there is a lot of great info here in this site and the other members offer great support and advice.

Sorry the the available meds are no longer helping and your insurance will not pay for an urologist visit, your right frequent visits to the washroom and the not knowing when it will hit is a issue. It's always a tough desision to take the next step when deciding to try new meds or wear prememium tapped diapers to manage bladder issues.

For me we chose diapers (Dry 24/7's) to manage my OAB issue that has gotten worse over the last year it's not a perfect solution but it has really taken the stress away about no warning floods.

Hopefully your insurance company will let you try the more expensive meds since the current ones are not working any more if not Premium Adult diapers are not that bad once you accept the need to wear.

Remember your not alone and ask any question you have, as someone here will probably have the answer we are all Going through some form of IC issues. But you really have to try to see a doctor to make sure nothing really bad is the underlying issue causing your leakage.
Author:  massacrew [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 2:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
rob110 wrote:
Welcome to the fourm,

Remember your not alone and ask any question you have, as someone here will probably have the answer we are all Going through some form of IC issues. But you really have to try to see a doctor to make sure nothing really bad is the underlying issue causing your leakage.


Thank you for the advice :) Besides a super nasty sinus virus I just got over, there are no under laying issues that we know of at this time besides un related stomach issues (ibs). But other then that as of two weeks ago, labs have been done and a cat scan and besides the above there is no other issues. The current setback is just frustrating as i had hoped the medication would continue to work. It's just a hard thing to accept that I might need to just go 24/7 which of course the state will pay for go figure.. It's costs them more money to keep me padded then it would in a year to provide vessacare which works incredibly well btw. I am just torn as I feel giving into a brief, would mean giving up what little control I've worked so hard to retain.. Again I never thought at 32 i would be in this position..
Author:  matthewmeto [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
massacrew wrote:
rob110 wrote:
Welcome to the fourm,

Remember your not alone and ask any question you have, as someone here will probably have the answer we are all Going through some form of IC issues. But you really have to try to see a doctor to make sure nothing really bad is the underlying issue causing your leakage.


Thank you for the advice :) Besides a super nasty sinus virus I just got over, there are no under laying issues that we know of at this time besides un related stomach issues (ibs). But other then that as of two weeks ago, labs have been done and a cat scan and besides the above there is no other issues. The current setback is just frustrating as i had hoped the medication would continue to work. It's just a hard thing to accept that I might need to just go 24/7 which of course the state will pay for go figure.. It's costs them more money to keep me padded then it would in a year to provide vessacare which works incredibly well btw. I am just torn as I feel giving into a brief, would mean giving up what little control I've worked so hard to retain.. Again I never thought at 32 i would be in this position..

Would giving into a brief really mean giving up control you have? You could still use the restroom, you'd just have extra protection for the times you can't. I've never worn a brief though outside of being a bed wetter when I was a teen, so I don't really know what that would be like. I can definitely understand the hesitation though.
Author:  Patrick [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 3:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
massacrew,

Welcome. Understand that you're among friends here, and more than that, you're among folks who have endured just what you're going through. It is embarrassing, frustrating, and, when your insurance guidelines are so counter-productive, it can be thoroughly exasperating. But keep trying. There are literally millions and millions of folks who share our predicament. The governmental bodies and insurance companies need to hear us.

Again, welcome, and good luck getting the care you deserve.
Author:  massacrew [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 4:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
matthewmeto wrote:
massacrew wrote:
rob110 wrote:
Welcome to the fourm,

Remember your not alone and ask any question you have, as someone here will probably have the answer we are all Going through some form of IC issues. But you really have to try to see a doctor to make sure nothing really bad is the underlying issue causing your leakage.


Thank you for the advice :) Besides a super nasty sinus virus I just got over, there are no under laying issues that we know of at this time besides un related stomach issues (ibs). But other then that as of two weeks ago, labs have been done and a cat scan and besides the above there is no other issues. The current setback is just frustrating as i had hoped the medication would continue to work. It's just a hard thing to accept that I might need to just go 24/7 which of course the state will pay for go figure.. It's costs them more money to keep me padded then it would in a year to provide vessacare which works incredibly well btw. I am just torn as I feel giving into a brief, would mean giving up what little control I've worked so hard to retain.. Again I never thought at 32 i would be in this position..

Would giving into a brief really mean giving up control you have? You could still use the restroom, you'd just have extra protection for the times you can't. I've never worn a brief though outside of being a bed wetter when I was a teen, so I don't really know what that would be like. I can definitely understand the hesitation though.


My urges come quite frequently and I'm not really able make it more then a half hour without desperation setting in and unexpected leaking i.e. spots. Like right now for example my undies already have a slight yellow tinge to them and I never felt it come out. This is why I'm torn on one hand I'm tired of the spots and having my life revolve around a bathroom, but on the other I feel if i went full time diapers I'd never get out of them :( but then again with the way things are going with the frequency, urgency , and leakage I feel the point of zero control is closer then I want to admit. but then again it might just better if I just accepted it and went 24/7. If you were in my shoes would you?
Author:  matthewmeto [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
massacrew wrote:
My urges come quite frequently and I'm not really able make it more then a half hour without desperation setting in and unexpected leaking i.e. spots. Like right now for example my undies already have a slight yellow tinge to them and I never felt it come out. This is why I'm torn on one hand I'm tired of the spots and having my life revolve around a bathroom, but on the other I feel if i went full time diapers I'd never get out of them :( but then again with the way things are going with the frequency, urgency , and leakage I feel the point of zero control is closer then I want to admit. but then again it might just better if I just accepted it and went 24/7. If you were in my shoes would you?


I'm in very similar shoes. I have issues with frequency, having to go 15+ times a day, dealing with spots and stuff too. I'm also tired of dealing with a bathroom so frequently, always having to know where the bathroom is and going frequently. I feel like it interupts my focus as well. You mentioned that you were disabled, I'm fortunately a relatively healthy and active 28 year old guy (albeit a "bit" overweight). I'm not sure how your disability affects your ability to work or your mobility. Perhaps you can elaborate on this?

The solution I've found for similar issues is that I recently switched from normal underwear with a guard to the depends real fit with a guard, and that has mitigated my issues with leakage, but nothing with frequency. I'm attempting some dietary changes until I see a doctor though. Perhaps analyzing your diet and getting proper protection in the form of leaks would help?

I'm at a similar point as you, however, going to diapers full time seems so extreme a solution, and its difficult for me to rationalize or justify that kind of extreme. I'm also not sure if I would use diapers as a replacement for the toilet, simply because I am able to hold with mild leaking (though the bladder pressure, pain, and constant irritation bugs me significantly. I'm not sure if you have the same experience regarding that.) I feel it would be a bit ridiculous and extreme to do that, as well as difficult to justify such a decision to doctors and family.

Just my thoughts and experience! I hope it helped you somewhat. I wish you the best of luck dealing with these issues.
Author:  massacrew [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 8:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
matthewmeto wrote:
massacrew wrote:
My urges come quite frequently and I'm not really able make it more then a half hour without desperation setting in and unexpected leaking i.e. spots. Like right now for example my undies already have a slight yellow tinge to them and I never felt it come out. This is why I'm torn on one hand I'm tired of the spots and having my life revolve around a bathroom, but on the other I feel if i went full time diapers I'd never get out of them :( but then again with the way things are going with the frequency, urgency , and leakage I feel the point of zero control is closer then I want to admit. but then again it might just better if I just accepted it and went 24/7. If you were in my shoes would you?


I'm in very similar shoes. I have issues with frequency, having to go 15+ times a day, dealing with spots and stuff too. I'm also tired of dealing with a bathroom so frequently, always having to know where the bathroom is and going frequently. I feel like it interupts my focus as well. You mentioned that you were disabled, I'm fortunately a relatively healthy and active 28 year old guy (albeit a "bit" overweight). I'm not sure how your disability affects your ability to work or your mobility. Perhaps you can elaborate on this?

The solution I've found for similar issues is that I recently switched from normal underwear with a guard to the depends real fit with a guard, and that has mitigated my issues with leakage, but nothing with frequency. I'm attempting some dietary changes until I see a doctor though. Perhaps analyzing your diet and getting proper protection in the form of leaks would help?

I'm at a similar point as you, however, going to diapers full time seems so extreme a solution, and its difficult for me to rationalize or justify that kind of extreme. I'm also not sure if I would use diapers as a replacement for the toilet, simply because I am able to hold with mild leaking (though the bladder pressure, pain, and constant irritation bugs me significantly. I'm not sure if you have the same experience regarding that.) I feel it would be a bit ridiculous and extreme to do that, as well as difficult to justify such a decision to doctors and family.

Just my thoughts and experience! I hope it helped you somewhat. I wish you the best of luck dealing with these issues.


My disability prevents me from working sadly.. I have tried underwear but sadly the fit is poor in the area that counts. The reason why I considering going to a brief is not only fit, but the fact I involuntary dribble which over time goes from spots to a good portion of my underwear being wet if I don't catch it. But also when the urge hits I do not have much time before disaster.. Between the above, the fact the meds stopped working, and finding what little quality of life being ruled by my bladder every 15 minutes. I still find it as extreme as you do and wish it was not the case but I fear in time it maybe where I end up as I'm tired of it :(
Author:  matthewmeto [ Tue Jan 12, 2016 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New and at a cross roads need some opinions.
massacrew wrote:
matthewmeto wrote:
massacrew wrote:
My urges come quite frequently and I'm not really able make it more then a half hour without desperation setting in and unexpected leaking i.e. spots. Like right now for example my undies already have a slight yellow tinge to them and I never felt it come out. This is why I'm torn on one hand I'm tired of the spots and having my life revolve around a bathroom, but on the other I feel if i went full time diapers I'd never get out of them :( but then again with the way things are going with the frequency, urgency , and leakage I feel the point of zero control is closer then I want to admit. but then again it might just better if I just accepted it and went 24/7. If you were in my shoes would you?


I'm in very similar shoes. I have issues with frequency, having to go 15+ times a day, dealing with spots and stuff too. I'm also tired of dealing with a bathroom so frequently, always having to know where the bathroom is and going frequently. I feel like it interupts my focus as well. You mentioned that you were disabled, I'm fortunately a relatively healthy and active 28 year old guy (albeit a "bit" overweight). I'm not sure how your disability affects your ability to work or your mobility. Perhaps you can elaborate on this?

The solution I've found for similar issues is that I recently switched from normal underwear with a guard to the depends real fit with a guard, and that has mitigated my issues with leakage, but nothing with frequency. I'm attempting some dietary changes until I see a doctor though. Perhaps analyzing your diet and getting proper protection in the form of leaks would help?

I'm at a similar point as you, however, going to diapers full time seems so extreme a solution, and its difficult for me to rationalize or justify that kind of extreme. I'm also not sure if I would use diapers as a replacement for the toilet, simply because I am able to hold with mild leaking (though the bladder pressure, pain, and constant irritation bugs me significantly. I'm not sure if you have the same experience regarding that.) I feel it would be a bit ridiculous and extreme to do that, as well as difficult to justify such a decision to doctors and family.

Just my thoughts and experience! I hope it helped you somewhat. I wish you the best of luck dealing with these issues.


My disability prevents me from working sadly.. I have tried underwear but sadly the fit is poor in the area that counts. The reason why I considering going to a brief is not only fit, but the fact I involuntary dribble which over time goes from spots to a good portion of my underwear being wet if I don't catch it. But also when the urge hits I do not have much time before disaster.. Between the above, the fact the meds stopped working, and finding what little quality of life being ruled by my bladder every 15 minutes. I still find it as extreme as you do and wish it was not the case but I fear in time it maybe where I end up as I'm tired of it :(

I see. I have some issues with the disposable underwear as well, but haven't worn a "brief" in years to know how they fit in comparison. Have you had a lot of accidents due to not making it to the bathroom on time? If so, you should definitely consider wearing a "brief". If not, well, it seems as if you have a lot to consider and maybe should take a serious look at the option. Have you tried wearing a brief to assist with these issues before? I think other members may be able to give you better recommendations in regards to what products specifically to try. I imagine a brief wouldn't be a perfect solution, as you'd still have the frequent urges and bladder pressure related to it, so you'd still wind up making trips to the restroom unless the brief was just a replacement for it.
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