I picked up a bag of Abena L4's plastic backed version and they are a lot bigger then the mediums

But did not leak onto my pad, the first night I had a slight leak but it got caught by my underwear I wear over the diaper to help keep it in place, night 2 I had no leaks (Taped properly this time) so the L4's are now my night time diaper and the M4's will be my day time ones. I haven't had a leak Juring the day so the mediums are ok for sitting and standing just not sleeping.
I still want to try not to make it look like I am wearing but I tried the Large and you can really see the bulge in my pants.
Thanks again John for recommending I try a larger diaper.