www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello. I am a brand new member of this forum. I have very recently started accepting to myself, and reconciling to the fact that I am a person who suffers from moderate episodic incontinence. I am only 46 years old, and this has been very difficult for me to sort out. It is very personal to me, and also rather embarrassing. What is really complicating this issue for me is that this is further complicated by trauma-based anxiety caused by memories of multi-spectrum abuse I suffered as a child at the hands of an adoptive parent.

I have discussed my multiple episodes of major urinary frequency and urgency with my primary care physician. On advice of one of his colleagues, I even journalized my normal urination, as well as incontinent episodes, for a week. I had an appointment with my PCP yesterday, and I discussed this issue with him further, even though I was rather timid about it. I am a Type II Diabetic, and I suspected that this medical problem had something to do with my bladder issues, especially considering my blood glucose levels had been quite high for the last two weeks. My doctor confirmed this, and increased my insulin dosage. Discussions with him, as well as my birth mother, and my best friend over the last few days have helped me feel a great deal more comfortable and less afraid talking about my urge and overflow incontinence problem.

I do not wet my bed. However, often when I am out in public, I develop very strong urges to urinate that cannot be ignored. I recall one incident that happened a few years ago. I tend to be a bit "pee shy," so I also hold it in when I am out in public, to avoid going to public restrooms. At this particular time, the urgency to urinate was so great that I could not hold it in at all. Quite literally, I stood at my apartment door, fumbling with my keys, trying to unlock the door, to get to the bathroom quickly before I emptied my bladder, but then it happened... I had a full-blown incontinent episode, completely emptying my bladder, and soaking myself from the waist down.

Since then, I have had other episodes like this, some less severe, some equally so.I try not to drink too much liquid, to avoid having problems. Despite my reluctance, however, I am actually not terribly ashamed when I seriously think about wearing protective underwear or adult briefs long-term from this point forward. I even researched several incontinence products that might help me achieve a solution to my medical issues in this regard. I've also been reading a lot of articles and support topics on the Internet about incontinence.

I just purchased some adult briefs from my local CVS, as well as a pack of Attends adult briefs on E-Bay that appear to be just the right size and absorbency for me, after failing to find such an item for quite some time now. I went out in public with an adult brief on for the first time ever a couple evenings ago. After getting over the initial strange feel of it, and the fear of being discovered wearing it, I actually found it incredibly comfortable, as well as very discreet. It was a very liberating and freeing experience for me that was palpable.

I believe that with further counseling from my psychotherapist, I can recover from, and cope with, the emotional ramifications of my past traumas, as well as the very real medical issue of incontinence that I am now facing. I was far too young to recall clearly, but I believe I was also shamed during potty-training. I think that with help, and sound medical advice, I can resolve all of these issues to the best of my ability, and lead a richer, more independent life.

I am still a relatively young person (46), though I sometimes lately feel "old," since I am facing the reality of things like diabetes, high cholesterol/blood pressure, partials/dentures (I am missing 5 teeth), mental health issues, and now, evidently, incontinence. I felt that this forum would be the only place that I could go to discuss these issues - in a place where people truly understand the complex milieu of emotions and issues that myself, and many others, have faced. I know I am not alone - the research I have done, as well as all the Google hits I have seen regarding incontinence, clearly show that very many people experience these issues, just like me. Thank you for for listening to my concerns, and your support and encouragement, in advance. I look forward to your warm welcomes and your thoughtful replies. Thank you once again. Take care, and be safe.

Welcome to the boards Scott,

That's quite a story and I do hope you can find some answers and a treatment to help you out. You seem to have hit on a few issues that plague some of us and cause our wetting problems. The diabetes for sure can be a cause and you need to work closely with your PCP to monitor this and keep it under control. Incontince can be a symptom but all things considered there are worse things that can com of it so keep on it.
As for the trauma you suffered, we have one member here who is in mental health and I'm hoping he will chime in with a suggestion or two. Don't stress about talking to someone. A lot here have, me included and it helps to get things out and in perspective.
Funny you mentioned the wetting episode you had and what you were doing. There is actually a name for that, "key in lock". Its like your body tells your bladder "hey, you can get ready to go now.", and it doesn't pass on that we need to wait just a bit longer. I am sure most here can sympathize.

Last thing I wanted to hit on and again, most if not all can relate to this. I noticed you avoided using the word "diaper" in most if not all of your post. Don't beat yourself up over this. We all did it at some point. Some get over it fast, others, not so much. You are with friends here and we are open to help you with whatever we can. I'll be thinking about you and hoping you can find a treatment that will get you as close to normal as you can and to where you won't have to be stuck in a diaper. But if it comes to that, even till you can find a treatment you can live with, it's not the end of the world. What is most important is you find a way to manage that gets you out of the house and back to living. There is NO SHAME in that.

Good luck and again, welcome.

Rope

Welcome aboard.....were all dealing with this issue in one form or another. You're in good company here. Many of us wear diapers to get on with our lives. There is no shame in it and nobody can really tell that you have one on unless they see it sticking out of the top of your pants, even then most people are too busy to notice.
B Around the time my problems really got severe and put me back in diapers (late February/ early March 2014)I developed severe anxiety about my issues. My blood pressure goes through the roof when I enter a hospital and the anxiety borders on panic sometimes about certain things. So we understand all of that.....

Hello Scott and welcome!

You have been going through quite a lot. It is important to realize that you are not alone and many of us can understand, at least in part, what you are going through. I'm bowel incontinent and wear diapers 24/7 as do many in this group. In the past I also have been bladder incontinent and a bed wetter.

Good luck in resolving your issues or at least in being able to cope with them.

--John

Hello and welcome to the forum. You'll find a wealth of good advice from the folks here, along with a sympathetic ear. I'm sorry that you're having bladder challenges and medical and psychological issues as well. I'm also an insulin-dependent Type II diabetic. I have daytime urge incontinence and bedwetting episodes.

It appears that you have a good medical and social support system to help you work through all that you have to deal with, and I'm very impressed with your positive attitude. I'm also happy to know that you found protection that works well for you.

Best Wishes,
Wetters

Wishing you a warm welcome to this forum.
I am male in my late 30's and I have a condition that I only recently found out was incontinents and I will have this label for the rest of my life. Like you this scared me as I had associated incontinentce with being old. Finding this forum helpled me overcome this as the people here are of all ages and genders and this mix brings all sorts of help and advice. When I first went out with diapers on I too had the same nervous feeling of being discovered (I still do). I think it will take time to adapt to my new normal. It is true that having the wad of the diaper between the legs takes some getting to grips with however the more you wear the better it will become. If I could give you one tip read the attached information sheet about hygiene. I also note that you have not used the phrase diaper this was one of my big issues too we are all different however I found the more I used the phrase diaper the easer it became to accept what I was actually wearing. I have to wear 24/7, at night it is a full Attends Slip Regular Plus 10 and Kanga Waterproof Pants, during the day it is Attends Active Slip Active 10 with Attends Stretch Pants and when needed a onesie/body stocking. The Onesie is also great in bed during hot weather as it holds the diaper in place and gives air to the legs to keep one cool. Wearing a diaper has also given me the comfort, security and confidence to have a more active life and go places that were previously off limits.

http://www.incontinentsupport.org/chap6.php

I hope you will find all the help and support you need here.

Wishing you all the best Greenbank

Welcome Scott, 1968 was a great year, right? I am also 46, and can totally relate to most all you typed out, especially the "Key in the door" episode, been there too, you are not the only one! It can certainly mess with your head dealing with this in a far earlier part of life then most, nut it is manageable with the right gear and attitude. Press on, and wear what you need to, don't worry about others, they are not in your shoes and have no valid input unless it is positive! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Wow, thank you for all the wonderful replies. I specifically did not use the term "diaper" in my first post, not so much for my own shyness, as much as wasn't sure the word "diaper" would offend some of you in some way. In a strange way, I am actually happy about the idea of wearing one. I went and played organ at church Saturday afternoon yesterday with my diaper on. This was only the second time I had ever worn one in public. I find even with maximum absorbency ones, I still have trouble with leaks to a degree, and I put a pair of underwear on over them to keep them in place. I am thinking I might need pull-up type diapers instead of the taped ones. That might be easier for me to handle for practical purposes. Thanks again. I look forward to meeting more of you here, and posting more here, in the near future.

Warm Regards,
Scott

Welcome..

_________________
Life is like a camera
Focus of what is important
Capture the good times
Develop from the negatives
Take another shot!

Hi Scott

I tried the pull-ups and they did not work for me and I settled for Attends Active Slip (easy to change as don't have to undress) as the diapers they produce have plastic type backing that helps with leaks etc. You are not alone with the leak issue in the beginning I too had this and as with everything in life it is all about learning and wearing diapers is no exception. Diapers do have there limits and it is all about finding that limit and changing pattern that fits your lifestyle and your body. Don,t take this the wrong way having leaks is part of this journey so don't worry initially wearing waterproof pants can help with this process. Lots of manufactures will provide free samples and this will help you as it did with me find the correct product and optimum solution that meets your needs.

Every journey has path markers and having incontinents has its fare share of these markers.

Best wishes

Greenbank