www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello,

Does anyone ever get the feeling that urology is kind of a guessing game when it comes to certian types of incontiennce? At our first appointment, the urologist was saying things like with underactive bladder the meds woudlnt work.. and went with biofeedback... but wit this appointment she thogut it WAS OAB... It was clear to me then that with many kinds of incontiennce. especially the OAB-no-real-apparent-cause variety.. the type of bladder and incontience and treatment is a educated guessing game as to what will work and what will not. I have since come to terms with the fact that doctors may never really know why my bladder is wonky, much less how to deal with it... and this is the biggest reason why i have not stressed out about this latest reoccurance.. I'm taking everything in stride.

Whatever the outcome of this treatment, i have resolved 3 things to be true:

1) I will deal with this with no shame over what i could have done but didn't do, or guilt, or embarassment. I used to dwell on the fact that kids younger than me wear regular underwear, and at this point, I don't, but ive given that less and less thought. It is what it is. I was going to pick up some baby wipes at walmart, thinking id try them as a cost saving alternative, seeing as how one can get a LOT more wipes for less money, even though they are smaller, but then i saw someone i knew in the baby aisle..and suddenly felt weird buying baby wipes when I didn't have a baby.. at least with them in the aisle. I digress.. the point is, as I go on, I'm less self concsious and embarassed over it..but still working on things.

2) I will NOT live my life revolving around a toilet... If that means that often times I end up using the diaper instead of using the toilet when I could have otherwise... so be it. When I first started dealing with incontience, i rember going to the toilet several times whenever i got that urgency frequency.. and missed out on a LOT... no more of that...if i have diaper on and its not convient to pee in the toilet..guess what..the diaper will be used.. end of story.

3) I will NOT be a slave to carrying a backpack with diapes and wipes everywhere.. as much as i can avoid it.. which does mean i will be investing in a few bags of extended wear diapers per month... by the way.. has anyone compared Tena Slip Maxi to Wellness? Tena slip seems to be more discreet under clothing..but it seems wellness keeps the skin dryer..so its a trade off of sorts...

By the way, I recently bought a large size bodystocking/onesie from XP Medical, along with a bag of Tena Slip Maxi... but the jury is out on whether i will wear them long term.. the main reason why i bought htem is the thinness factor..


A word to all the "newbies:" yes, incontinence is a traumatic thing to go through..but if you just recently became incontinent, take it from me, from a guy who has dealt with it, and then became dry..not once..but twice.. and then had to deal with it AGAIN... acceptance gets easier over time. Stressing out doesn't help.. you are NOT alone.. and there are great products to help manage.. oh, and diaper wear is discreet..even with the premium diapers that are thicker.. just wear your pants a size up and no one's the wiser.. and seriously... who stares at people's butts and crotches long enough to tell you have a diaper on anyway? No one..unless they are a pervert.. that's another issue entirely.. the only dead giveaway is if a diaper peeks above your patns when your shirt rides up.. and they make adult onesies designed specifically to cover that up.. so theres no reason to be embarassed! Get out there and LIVE LIFE! Don't let incon stop you! I have resolved, inconteince or no inciintinence to live my life, subistue teaching, and going back to being a camp counselor next summer.. Now that willl be interesting.. but i can manage.. if i ask the camp director for private quarters...

Anyway,

Peace OUT!

Rob

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Good points sociologygeek. I have spares hidden in the truck and at work so I don't carry around a back pack unless I am on a long trip. Luckily I have an office with a door to it, if I have to change there into a new one I can do it there without having to carry it to the bathroom also. As for the baby wipes, you can say it is a life hack for cleaning your hands in the car or where there is not a sink close by.

I have come to realize if it wasn't for the protection I would end up quitting my job. My fear is if I have a really bad accident at work and my protection fails catastrophe at work and I am left with wet spots while running to the bathroom. The other problem I have is the men's bathroom is constantly busy so I end up having to wait for the right time to dispose of the wet one for that one second no one is there.

I have not become as brave as you about going camping. I had a friend this summer who invited my family out on a camping trip. I would have loved to go, but didn't want to let my problems to be found out when we were out in the woods. (My son still doesn't know)

As for the doctors, I once had a truthful doctor who told me medical science is this that. A science. What works for one person doesn't work for another. Back when I had my allergic reaction to a certain medicine I swelled up like a balloon and itched all over. 3 emergency room visits later I got the one doctor who put the pieces together and said stop taking it. The first two swore up and down the medicine I was taking doesn't have that type of side affect.

Hey batman!

How old is your son? Depending on his age, i kinda doubt that if he did know, he would make a big deal about it.. one thing ive learned with working with kids the last 4 years is.. you never know how mature and grown up they can be until you really get to know them. I've met some who are wise beyond their years..very level headed..and are very discreet and mature. On the other hand, i have me some who are not. As far as me being brave with the camp..well, thank you. Thing is though, it would not be something I have not done before to an extent. I visited the camp in diapers this past summer for a weekend.. managed very well.. and i really dont think no one was the wiser..at least no one said anything to me. Also, its a special needs camp...so im sure that everyone on camp..campers and staff alike are sensitive and understanding to incon issues in general...and i know i would NOT be the only person on camp wearing them by any means..


Peace out!

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

He is 22. I just don't want him to look at me differently. It is coming up on a year since I had to start wearing protection due to my accidents getting worse and if it wasn't for this forum I don't know what my line of thinking would be.

Batman,

Answer me this: If you were dealing wit something other than incontinence, say, diabetes, or epilepsy... would you have the same concerns about him thinking differentyl about you? Or what if you incontinence was due to the fact you had prostate cancer, and had to have a prostectomy? I doubt he would think of you differently. I think when we deal with things like this, we make it a bigger deal than it has to be. Case in point: my dad started losing his hair a few years ago due to alopecia, and when i came home from camp in 2011, he was completly bald. For me, it took me only a few months to get used to him not having hair, but he still hasn't come to terms with it. But, I as his son, accept and love him the way he is. If your son happens to find out, just say, hey im having issues controlling my bladder.. ive been to the doctors and they don't know how to help me.. or someting like that..i think youll find him understanding..and much more apt to be used to the idea faster than you..


I hope this helps..Peace out, and don't let your incon stop you from living LIFE!!

Rob

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Thanks Rob for putting things into perspective. I have had no problems discussing with him my other health problems I have had since two of them landing me in the hospital. When the day comes I will remember your advice.

Bruce