www.incontinentsupport.org

Why is it that sometimes a doctor seems more focused on what he has read or been thought in school instead of doing what's best for the patent? I have just had my second dealing with a doctor that is less interested in what I want and need rather then what he thinks is text book treatment. Everyone has different circumstances and all the aspects of there life play a role in the direction they want for treatment. Or better yet, for no treatment. I remember when my symptoms first started, they could not find a difinitive cause and just wanted to throw a bunch f pills at me. Me being desperate for some kind of relief and control swallowed everything they threw my way regardless of any side effects. Now that I have a better understanding for MY situation and MY body, I will not hesitate to say no to something that I feel won't work for me or is worse then the thing they are trying to treat.
For me, diapers are no fun but at least with them, I'm not butchering or poisoning my body. I have learned what works and what doesn't. I have learned to cope with how it makes me feel inside.
Why is it that to a doctor, the use of a diaper is ONLY a last resort when all other treatments fail? Maybe its because they have spent most of there lives thinking its their job to "fix" us and to make things "better"? What I have learned is "better" in their eyes is not always worth the cost.
What other stories or experiences do you guys have with these kinds of doctors? How many times have they push a pill or a procedure on you that you knew in your heart was not worth the cost just to have them put pressure on you to do it anyway. And if you didn't do what they feel is obvious that there is something wrong with you?

I certainly agree that doctors can be more fixated on the ideas from their training and 'off-the-shelf' solutions for medical problems. Of course, I present a more complicated problem for doctors as most problems I have relate to the underlying cause, MS. So, for example, continence problems are due to nerve damage from the MS. I learned early on that I ought to push the doctors to come up with solutions that suited me in particular rather than whatever they have been taught.

To be fair, I was starting over 30 years ago and research into how things ought to be done was harder to do as there was no Internet. It also took a while before our health service got round to significant help with wheelchair, cushions etc. though they have now, at least in Scotland. (My avatar is my new Kuschall K4)

I think the answer to doctors like the ones you describe is to research one's own problems on the Internet and work out how one would like to manage them - continence solutions are many and varied. I've finally come to self-catheterise 4 times a day and my 'problems' are over... for now!

Incontinence seems to be an issue with which doctors have a hard time dealing. To most of them, having a patient resort to wearing diapers is a worse outcome than having patients take drugs (even if the drugs produce side effects that are worse than the incontinence) or submitting to operations that are risky and may not do any good. I even had one doctor tell me that wearing a diaper was unmanly. I have found that, when dealing with doctors, you have to be assertive and insist that what is done is best for you.

Yes, I'm sure doctors don't like not being able to cure people. To be fair, I felt very sorry for the neurological team that diagnosed and various other patients because all they could do was give a diagnosis and say there is really nothing in the way of treatment. It seems almost like a failure to a doctor I suppose.

Yet, clearly, there are plenty of incurable causes of incontinence so I suppose some of these doctors don't like having to face up to what looks like failure.

Incon, is right.....when dealing with doctors: BE ASSERTIVE!!!!!!! tell them what works and what doesn't work for you. Tell them NO if a particular course of action doesn't coincide with your vision (within reason, of course)

I have been thinking about this very issue for some time. I manage my situation by wearing some kind of protection most of the time. My incontinence revolves around bladder diverticulum and retention. My urologist says that surgery is the only cure for the diverticulum, and could possibly make my urge/overflow issues worse. He says it's my decision even though my post void amount is close to 300ml. I have tried meds, but like others find the side effects very unpleasant. I have worn a pull up for an appointment, but not a tape on diaper. However, I'm finding it more necessary, and actually easier to manage wearing a tape on diaper...don't have to undress to change. So far, my urologist and personal physician have not said much about what I wear. So, I'm hoping I have enough courage to wear what is necessary for my next appointment and hope that the medical personnel are compassionate and understanding.

I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised by their attitude dp66 in regards to what you wear under your pants. Nurses have seen it all, and are understanding to IC issues, doctors on the other hand want to cure you by whatever means necessary (generally pills and/or surgery), and most disapprove on disposable products, but that is just what I have seen/read about from my own appointments and others stories. A day in your shoes would certainly open their eyes to how hard it can be to manage this, and would most likely change their general attitude towards absorbent products. When I discussed sleeping problems/wetting with mine, his attitude was "do what you have to" and never said anything more of it, which I appreciated! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

My experience with doctors has ranged from disastrous to wonderful, and everything in between. The urologist who did my sphincterotomy was wonderful. The medical school professor who had his students give me an hour-long genetic exam was high-quality and understanding to boot. Some of the others, not so much. The worst, by far, was the radiologist who treated my cerebellum as though it were a tumor, and shrank it. I just finished my yearly BC/BS wellness checkup, given by a CRNP, who was impressed with how well I manage. Once, a student phlebotomist tried to insert a needle, unsuccessfully, at least five times in both arms, before her professor stepped in, cleaned up the blood which had spattered all over me, the sheets and bedframe, and did the professional job her student, in a sheer panic, could not do. I have had doctors call me an interesting patient, and a malingerer. The doctor who called me a malingerer simply did not have the technology which enabled him to verify my complaints. As incontinents, we need to look for ways to retain our humanity, our personhood, in the face of invasive, embarrassing exams, and medications that too often are all side effect, no cure.

I know most doctors would bristle at the notion, but they're mechanics, really. Something's not right with the car (you), and it's their job to fix it. It doesn't matter that your solution (stuffing a rag in the leaky radiator) works just fine, it's not RIGHT. They really want to try this new thing because that's what it says in the manual, even if it costs you an arm and a leg, makes the car run funny, or will even shorten the life of the car.

But I say that if stuffing a rag in your leaky radiator works and doesn't adversely affect the rest of the car, maybe it IS the right solution. You--and not the mechanic--own your car. Do what you think is best.

-RMS

Just as diapers can be controversial with some doctors when dealing with bladder incontinence, consider my use of daily old-fashioned enemas as a preventive to control my bowel incontinence. Some doctors will not even consider enemas as a possibility, although extensive clinical studies (particularly in Europe) are showing that it is, perhaps, the procedure with the highest success rate in controlling fecal incontinence!
Most younger doctors (when you are my age they all are younger) went to medical school since the advent of the chemical Fleet's enemas. Some are perpetuating old anti-enema myths and refuse to accept other views (even from more recent medical studies).
Of course there also is the profit factor - an enema probably costs me about $0.10, including equipment, soap and lubricants, possibly the least expensive such hygienic or medical procedure I could name. The pharmaceutical industry will make no money by promoting basic traditional at-home enemas. Accordingly, I bring up the subject of my enemas immediately with a new doctor to see whether he will work out for me.

--John