www.incontinentsupport.org

Well, here I am looking for a new job. I can't help but think about how incontinence may figure in. What I mean is, do I tell and when?

My current job allows me the freedom to go to the bathroom whenever I need to. Often, that means no wetting, and for the other times a light pad does the trick. To my knowledge at least, nobody knows of my incontinence. But, as it does for almost everyone, the time has come for me to seek greater challenges (employment-wise).

My next job may not afford me such freedoms, which may mean more wetting, and a need for more protection. I'm willing to do what I need to do, but I don't want to jeopardize my situation by having a new employer think I'm a "weirdo." On the other hand, if there's no need for them to know...

So I'm wondering how others have dealt with this. Should I be up front right away, or should I wait until I absolutely must say something?

You raise is an interesting question.

First, I should say that I've worked for the same employer for 38 years. So I don't speak from experience about changing me own job. However, I've hired a lot of people over the years and fired a few. So I can offer a bit of perspective from an employer's point of view. One further proviso: I'm Canadian. So what I am going to say might not apply exactly outside the True North.

When you are interviewing someone for a job, you are not allowed to ask questions about irrelevant issues. That means, for example, that you can't ask about someone's marital status, whether they have children, their sexual orientation, whether they are HIV+ or HIV_, or anything else about their health status unless the information is demonstrably relevant to performance on the job. And once someone has been hired, the employer is required to take every reasonable step to enable the person with a disability to adapt to the job and perform it successfully. The definition of what a "reasonable step" consists of is open to interpretation, but enabling someone to use the bathroom frequently and/or providing a way to dispose of wet diapers would certainly fall under the rubric of reasonable steps.

So my advice is don't bring up the subject before you're hired. Once you have the job, make every reasonable effort to do it properly and well, and expect the employer to provide reasonable accommodations to enable you to do so, which in your case wouldn't be anything that the employer couldn't easily provide.

Hi there!

No need to tell them anything, your inco is an irrelevant issue. (I never did either).

Marjorie

This is going to be an issue for me soon. I've been out of work for over five years because of my kids disabilities. My previous job was very understanding and supportive, but they were supposed to be--they were a social service agency. I worked there for twelve years. It was an accounting office that was long, and I was in the back, not near a door. But when they remodeled, they put in another door near my desk so I could be a lot closer to the bathroom.

Now I need to go back to work, but I will have to go with whatever job is available in my field. It's a little scary thinking about it.

Tim

Awesome topic! I'm about to start an intern which will more than likely lead to a full time office position. I was able to take a little tour of the office yesterday and from what I saw it is very quiet and I'm sooo scared about the noise of my diapers. I would consider using cloth diapers (although I have horrible luck with them) if they actually held enough and could present a slimmer profile. I would be totally obvious if I had cloth diapers on under my dockers. I definately need to use disposable diapers but does anyone have any tips for minimizing the crinkle sounds? Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!

Steve,

Disposable diapers that have cloth-like covers instead of plastic are virtually noiseless. Check out the Abena X-Plus Air Plus or the Tena Super.

Nick

I've tried Abenas X-Plus Air Plus diapers. Unfortunatly the tapes held very poorly on the clothlike outside and wetness wicked out in the crotch area

To update: I've changed jobs. Yes, a little less freedom in the bathroom department, but a good change.

I've had luck with using Abri-san pads (for the most part). Only one leak, and it was closing time on a Friday, so nobody else was there.

I took your advice and tried some with the cloth-like covers but I found that the fit was really uncomfortable in the crotch and there was a lot of chaffing... anyone else have that with the cloth-like diapers? I would rather live with crinkle noises than have to deal with uncomfortable diapers I guess. Thanks for the suggestion though, I appreciate it!! Any help is really welcome.

Steve,

I wonder which brand of diaper with clothlike covers you tried. I've heard other complaints about chafing with the clothlike covers, but I have been using the Tena Super for several years and the Abena X-Plus Air Plus for the past few months and have never experienced the problem. It could be that I'm less sensitive to chafing than you are, or it could be a problem that varies with different brands. It might be worth trying a different brand.