www.incontinentsupport.org

I usually don't log in and post, but this forum has been a source of encouragement for me for years and years. This November will be my 10th anniversary here! I signed up on Nov 25, 2004 at 7:05 pm. I think this forum is the best source on the internet for discussion about incontinence.

I've been collecting notes about incontinence for years. It was for my use, I wasn't planning on doing anything with it. But I heard a story and it really got to me. It was about a woman who had bowel incontinence. Because she was so ashamed and afraid of having an accident in public she did not leave her home for 20 years. Twenty years trapped at home! She did not leave the house. That is like being under house arrest. I can't imagine that kind of isolation.

I have decided to take the notes I have and write a book about incontinence and wearing diapers to help people like her. My notes file was 80,000 lines long. I now have a working outline for the book with 120+ topics. It will take months to write but I'm very excited about it.

In preparation for the book, I have started a "subreddit" over at Reddit.com. I have already posted links to this forum and one of the recent threads, and I'm going to be linking to some of our better discussions over the years. The ISC is the best incon forum on the web. There is a real sense of family here. I'm hoping to drive some of that Reddit traffic back here. I mean, if that's ok with the Admin and the Moderators, of course.

I'm going to hold off on posting the link to the subreddit until I know it's ok with Admin. I don't want you to think that I'm trying to compete. I also don't want you to think I'm just trying to promote my book -- the no-advertising policy is very wise and I agree with it.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what I'm up to and to thank everyone for the insights and encouragement for the last 10 years.

Kendal

Kendal, I understand the concept that you must do whatever you must do to seize an opportunity for personal gain whenever, wherever and however one presents itself. Part of me wants to wish you well in your anticipated endeavors, however, a lot of me has suddenly become reluctant to share here anymore. I am particularly uncomfortable with your admission that you don't contribute to this forum, and that you have just been lurking and gleaning here for the last 10 years! While I appreciate your candidness, it suggests that your motive for membership here has been separate and apart from the purpose of the forum. I feel more than a little bit used, and I've only been here less than 2 months. Perhaps some feedback from other members will provide me with a basis for viewing your plans somewhat less narrowly.

I appreciate that you asked for admin.'s and the moderators' permission before continuing to post content from the ISC forum. They should get a cut of the profits from your book.

Wetters

Hi, Wetters

Oh, no... I never intended my post to be taken that way. I am very grateful for this forum. I only wanted to say thank you.

I've been a member of this forum for almost 10 years. Part of what I have written about dehydration even made it into the Diaper Primer. I was honored when what I had written was considered helpful enough to be included.

About not posting: There's only so much time in the day, and most of the websites I read have to to with web design. Stuff I need to know. I've also been spending my time being a full time caregiver to my mother. She got cancer and it was bad. I lost her this past September. It's not like I am "lurking" here daily and not contributing.

As for links: I would never post content from here! There is a big difference between linking to, and copying from. Linking can drive visitors back here. If Admin doesn't want links -to- this forum I won't, of course. Reddit doesn't allow copying, only a comment that can go along with the link and perhaps short quotes, like quoting from a newspaper. I would *never* reproduce content.

My only motive about linking here was to help this site out. There are plenty of other websites to link to. But I think this is the BEST forum for incontinence. I thought that I could help by bringing some new visitors here, people who have never heard of this place.

I don't have a motive. I didn't even decide to write a book until the past year and I've spent that year taking care of Mom. As for thinking that I'm trying to sell my book: Its going to be an ebook and I had already decided to give it to any member of this forum who wants it. I have no desire to profit off the members here. If you're a member here, you get it if you want it. It's only right -- I have been blessed by the discussions, so I want to give back to those who have participated.

And as for helping to support this site... yes, I most definitely want to do that, too. It should not be on the shoulders of the leaders to pay for all the hosting of this place. I have found encouragement here and I do want to give back. But I wasn't going to say that publicly.

I thought someone from here might see the reddit or the book's website and see the name "Kendal". If I hadn't signed up as "Kendal" ten years ago I wouldn't have said a thing. I agree with the no-advertising policy, as I mentioned. If you don't then every retailer under the sun will show up posting stuff. I had already decided to give the book to the members here when the time came. I'm not going to get anything from the members here. I'm not looking to.

I have no motive, for here, other than to maybe bring in some new visitors and try to build up the community. And I thought that some of the old-time members might want to know what I was up to.

I wish now that I'd sent my post as a private message. I did not know that I would be misunderstood.

Kendal

I went over to the subreddit and deleted the couple of links I had made. No one had commented on them yet so I was able to remove them completely.

Here's what I had posted:

FORUM: incontinentsupport.org (link)

The incontinentsupport.org forum has been around for years and years. I've been a member since 2004. This November will be my 10th anniversary there.

The ISC is a well-moderated forum with a "family" feeling. It is a hidden gem among incontinence-related websites.

I will be very happy to put that back up if Admin wants. But I won't link again until they give a thumbs-up or thumbs-down. I assumed they want to grow the community and so it didn't even dawn on me that they might not want external links pointing back here. It's their call.

Kendal, I know your name was here long before I appeared, and I commend you on what you are attempting to do. The story about the hosuebound woman is over the top, and Iknow it happens to people out there that just don't know what to do. For those that have come up with working solutions and want to get it into print and share them with these sufferers is a noble act, and I hope you follow through with it. I know that post you mentioned about "Diapers or Dehydration" was one that struck a cord in me too, as everyone I am sure deals with managing the fluids without causing things to get worse, it is a real challenge finding that ballnce, and was one of the better conversations on here that I have read.

Schoppy, as owner of the site is the one who you need to clear this with, but he broke his jaw and was in need of surgery last week, so not sure if he is on as of late. Send him a PM if you have not already, I am sure it won't be long until he is up and around again, if he isn't already! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Hi, Puffy. Thanks for your understanding! I wasn't meaning to cause a controversy. I will message Schoppy when he gets back online. He's got more important stuff to do like getting better!

Kendal, I think I know what you were trying to do, and I believe your motives are pure. But I also understand where Wetters is coming from.

For many people, incontinence is enormously emotionally challenging and a devastating blow to their egos and self-esteem. The inability to control ones bodily functions is often seen as a failure and a humiliation. I have read studies that say that the single most embarrassing thing you can buy in a store isn't birth control, lubricant, tampons, or even hemorrhoid cream, it's incontinence products. Little wonder, then, that some would take umbrage to any whiff of exploitation.

Again, I think I know what you were trying to convey, but the implication that you had been compiling data on what people have shared here and planned to use it for personal gain is enough to give pause to anyone struggling though this condition.

I appreciate the clarification, but I wanted to offer some perspective from the other side.

-RMS

I know I have not been here as long as most but I kind of feel the same as Wetters. Spider-sence tingling. But the Fact you have been here so long and your willingness to wait for the green light helps me feel better about it. I guess my concern would be where will this group be advertised and what will be the target adience? Basicly I dont want a linkk to our site posted somewhere that has a high fetish group that might bring them here.
I do feel comfortable with the whole thing to just let schoppy make the call and be OK.

Kendal,

I appreciate your honesty and your desire to seek approval before going through with this. I have to agree that your original post stating that you have been gleaning information from various posts over the years does sound a bit frightning as I am sure most of us here are here to get support and information on how to deal with what is happening to us. But I can see this forum being a valuable resource.

I do have some questions though. What is the purpose of writing a book about incontinence? What do you plan to accomplish? Who is your intended audience for the book? Is it going to be from a medical point of view or personal "coping with it" point of view?

I am curious because you stated that you are not really looking to publish for personal gain. So if you are publishing for awareness or some other reason, I think I would like to know what that reason is. Also, besides getting permision from Schoppy, I think you might want to carefully consider who posted what content you are drawing your notes from and get explicit permission from those posters (which I believe was your intent of the original post).

Other than that, good luck and I would be interested in veiwing either finished copy or working copies as you go.

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"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal

Howdy

In the past I posted a link to our site in http://www.reddit.com/r/Incontinence/
And I think it has brought people to our family here.

Kendal, would you be willing to help me do an update on our Diaper Primer?
Im sure that all the notes that you have would be really helpful on doing the update.

The original poster of the diaper primer has passed away so I don't think he would mind if we do an update on it.
(we started to do an update when he passed away and we never got it complete)

I know that this will take time to do but I know it will really help people in the long run.

Schoppy