www.incontinentsupport.org

I just wanted to express my gratitude to the people on this site (and formerly 'that other site') who have offered supportive comments and suggestions. In particular, I have been working on letting those closest to me know of my condition after having read testimonials from several people who have reported that this issue is almost always a much bigger deal in our own minds than it ever is for any one else. This has given me the courage to open up over the course of the last 3 months to 3 people I work with, my best friend and my mother... none of whom reported having had any idea I was incontinent until I told them. I got a couple of "Ohhhh, does that explain a couple of real sudden exits you made?" type of questions but absolutely everyone handled it very well. No pity, no mocking, no teasing... everyone was just supportive. I've shared that I've been connecting with people on-line for support and everyone replied "that's really awesome that you have that available to you". I've been reflecting on the idea that if I hadn't found a community like this for support, I'd likely still be carrying around this stigmatizing secret and shame. Since I've begun to let people in a little bit, I can't begin to calculate how much relief I've been feeling. It's amazing how much energy hiding something takes. At any rate, thanks to all those who have shared their experiences. I hope I am able to continue to be supportive of you as well. Sometimes we're not aware of the impact we've had on others so I felt it important to share that many of you have positively impacted me.

Forever grateful,
CJ

CJ,

For what it's worth, you are more than welcome. I don't know how much I personally have helped or even at all but I am thrilled that you are making these steps. I know how hard is is to tell those around you and the sense of relief you get when you do. Like you, I have not gotten a cross word or a negative reaction from anyone I have opened up to about this. You should also know you have been a help to me and others here and on the other site.
So kuddos to you. We are all happy to say you are part of our online family.

Rope

CJ & Rope,

When a support group works, really works, this is what happens, for you, and for all of us. This is why we are here. The support we give each other cannot happen any other way. We know what it is to be incontinent: the hassels, the humiliations, the medical exams and surgeries, which makes the support we offer each other far more effective than the support we might get from anyone else. Which is not to discount our families or co-workers; however, they are not us, and, hopefully, will never be us. Kudos and thanks to you, to the folks who run this site, and to the non-handicapped folks who struggle to understand our situation.

CJ, I am glad you are getting it out to those around you that matter enough for you to want to share it with them, it takes a lot of courage being such an embarrassing disorder to have to deal with in real life, kudos to ya! Glad you appreciate those around you "online", we read and post enough on here to almost have a feel for what that person is like in reality face to face, and it is a great thing to have somewhere to just go and off-load your thoughts and frustrations with others who know what you are going through. Keep on keepin' on! Puffy

_________________
Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Hi, CJ - Thanks for your thoughtful comments. Your input has also been valuable to this community, and I'm very happy that our forum family has been able to provide you with the support and confidence to discuss a sensitive issue with the people who are most significant in your life. Your comments have reminded me that I'm grateful to be a part of this community as well.

Wetters

* Insert Warm Fuzzy Here *

Thanks for all your responses, everyone. That means so very much to me. As a Psychologist, I get a lot of practice helping other people deal with their stuff but I don't do a very good job of taking care of my own back yard a lot of times. Asking for help, risking being vulnerable to others and just "putting yourself out there" is something I talk with clients about every day and something I truly believe in. But this....... this incontinence issue has had me quite flummoxed for quite some time. To be able to finally have my own actions begin to match my words and my beliefs is really quite invaluable.

CJ, and the members here (and those that have come from that "other" site)

I wanted to to thank you too for all the same reasons. Whats awesome about a group like this we continue to inspire each other and help one another get over any issues that seem to be in our way and most of all teach us that we are not alone as well as the feelings of fear and anxiety are a normal part of coping with a condition like this.
Your story about having the strength to tell the ones closest to you has motivated me to continue in dealing with this life I have been dealt and to take another step. One of the people I have not told about this condition yet is my own father. My father and I don't do a whole lot of things together but this summer we are planning a big trip to Puerto Rico and he and his wife are going to. With plane flights, travel, hotel and beach time I can't think he will not find out or at least figure out something is up. Taking inspiration from CJ's story I gathered up my courage and told my dad about my condition and my incontinence. Like everyone would assume, he was very receptive and supportive. Having this out in the open will be a huge weight off my shoulders and will help me focus more on just enjoying the trip.
So in this regard, thank you CJ. Thanks for being an inspiration to me.

Rope, it's great to hear that you have the courage to have told your father about your incontinence. Have a wonderful time with your family in Puerto Rico!

Wetters

Yes thank you for all the work that goes into this site. I am relativity knew to this condition and by reading I have realized I am not the only one with this condition at my age. Plus, I have learned a few tips which have helped at the office and on travel.

Welcome to the board batman. I hope we are able to continue to help you feel not quite as alone.