www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi, I'm new here and need help.

I'm a young man in my early 20's and have never stopped bed wetting. The most I've ever gone is a couple of months, but it always starts up again. Sometimes small amounts, sometimes massive soaking. But so far I've managed to hide it and live my life.

Well my work is sending me to a month long training where I have to live in a hotel type room with a room-mate, and I'm freaking out. How am I going to manage the wetting? At my house I have plastic on the bed and pillows, and simply wash sheets. That won't be possible here.

I've never used any sort of diaper, brief, ATN or whatever they are called. It looks like that is my best bet, but I don't know anything. It seems like this is the place to get some information on what to get and how to use it. Help!

McGilly

Welcome McGilly, you have signed up to the right place, there are many here that have had this issue to deal with long term as well, and know all the tricks to cope as best psosible. A good quality brief/diaper is a good way to start, but can be tricky with a room mate. You may be wise to have a private discussion with your employer/supervisor if possible, alternate arrangements could be made for you so you get a private room, that would be the ultimate solution to the trip away from home. A good size bed pad or 2 can help with any night issues and leaks, along with a plastic/vinyl undersheet. A pair of vinyl or plastic coverpants is another way to help with containment, the cloth lined ones will add some absorbancy if a leak occurs. You can find them online, or at any local medical supply store. As far as online suppliers, the big one that everyone on here really likes is XPMedical. They have a good selection of top end, better absorbancy diapers that you can't get at any local pharmacy/med supply store. The owner is also a user, and is very knowlegable and helpful finding something that works for you, although I have never bought there as I am in Canada and the shipping to here is high. Others that are good include B4NS.com, and they ship inncluded in the purchase cost. Other members here can give you some more tips and possible places to buy from... and don't feel bad or get too stressed about it, you are certainly not the only one out there that has this issue to deal with! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

There are a number of things you can do to manage your bed wetting when someone else is sharing the room. I've done it a few times but certainly not for a month. You could consider a condom cath but I my opinion that would be more difficult to conceal than would be a diaper. The few times this has happened to me I would wear a good disposable covered with a pair of cotton briefs and then a pair of plastic pants. I am a side sleeper and disposables tend to leak when one sleeps on their side so the cotton briefs soak up the leakage. I wear shorts over the diaper and a long t-shirt to bed. In the morning I go into the bathroom to shower. I wrap the wet diaper in a plastic bag an dispose of it later somewhere other than the room. Then I rinse out the briefs and plastic pants while in the shower. I then towel dry the plastic pants and wring out the briefs and place them in a sealed bag. You could always slip a bed pad in before bed each night if necessary. Sounds like alot of work but it really isn't that bad. I can't imagine the two of you will spend a ton of time together in the room outside of sleeping and watching the tube. If you are there for a month you'll need to do laundry every so often so washing/drying the briefs should be easy. Since you will be there for so long don't think you have to take a ton of supplies with you. You don't want to have to bring a ton of luggage with you. Disposable diapers are bulky. Most areas of the US will have a pharmacy/grocery store within a short driving distance so you can pick up more supplies when the need arises.

The longest stint I did was 6 nights in Vegas on business sharing a room with a co-worker. Everything went OK. I can remember worrying myself crazy the month before leaving. It turned out I had little to be worried about. The biggest problem was that the guy sharing the room snored all night long for 6 nights.

Okay, good these are some helpful ideas.

What's a good disposable? Are pull up or tape better? I sleep on my side mostly.

What's a good plastic outer pants?

I will have access to laundry if needed. I'm also thinking about biting the bullet and talking with my employer about this and maybe seeing if there is some sort of alternate room arrangement. Do employers usually work with people on this? I don't know anything about this. I'm afraid that they will make fun of me.

I wear a condom cath and if you get a quiet bag , no one will know. I'm not sure i can tell you the company name.

I would like to think your employer would know better then to "make fun of you" if you chose to talk to them about it all, they would be looking to get themselves in HOT water if they went that route, it is a legitimate medical problem, so they can find an alternate solution then putting you in the same room with someone. A one on one chat in private with someone in management would be best, and remind them it is to STAY confidential! As far as a cover pant, they come in several varieties. The PUL style seems to be popular (Poly Urethane Laminate) and are available at a few sites, Adult Cloth Diaper being one, and I believe Kins now also carries this style, softer and last longer then regular plastic. The best disposables out there are Dry 24/7 and Abena as the top two it seems, only tried the latter and they worked well, but are more pricey being the best on the market, obviously for a reason! Anything else, just ask! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

If your employer makes fun of you because of a medical condition they could be in for a serious legal issue. If they do give you a hard time go straight to your HR department and tell them what is going on. The person that harassed you will probably get reprimanded or fired.

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When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

McGills

First if you find it necessary to speak to your supervisor; over the years I found it to be a good idea to have someone in there with you never go to a meeting one on one but then I don’t know anything about where you work.
As hiding your protection that is always the hard part but it can be done.
Anyone that says they can hide a diaper easier then a condom catheter and leg bag never use one.
I use a Foley catheter which I am not recommending you use one unless medical necessary and under a doctor supervision.
Now what I am saying a condom cath no matter which catheter one uses the catheter it’s self cannot be seen so this leaves the leg bag. I use a very large leg bag it holds 1500ml about four times what a healthy bladder should hold. Even this big bag can be concealed easily just wear normal pants with straight legs. The bag needs good straps I use Bard. They do not chafe or cause me any problem.
I can have this bag full and you would never know it is there.

Some will say it will sound like water sloshing while walking; get the right bag it won’t. Some will try and tell you the tubes come lose if that happens then it wasn’t put on right in the first place.
I used condom catheters for close to twenty years while working and no one even suspected or knew I was incontinent.

In all the years I used catheters for incontinence I had a couple of leak a small pinhole I had a lot more leeks with using diapers. The leeks only happened from one manufacture so I don’t use them anymore problem solved.

Now there is a down side to using a condom catheter some people just can’t keep them on it will take some looking to find one that will work for you.
I used Mentor Clear Advantage Long Seal.

There is also a McGuire urinal for men also. It works much like a condom catheter I had good luck with them also.

Everyone needs to use what works best for them of is medically necessary.

2lyle

The problem I see with this is bringing attention to yourself. What's with whats-his-name? Why does he get a separate room? Would it be possible to find someone who will be in training with you, maybe someone you're friendly with and tell him the problem and then maybe suggest to your employer that you room together?

I also noted that you say that you use a bed pad and wash sheets daily. Training trip aside, you might consider wearing a diaper to bed. I have a constant drip, which can add up on a long night, so I wear a pullup diaper to bed. It's much more comfortable than a wet bed, and a lot less trouble in the morning. Simply roll it up in a plastic bag and throw it away.

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Fred

Okay, so I took the advice here and bucked up some courage and talked to my administrator about this.

They agreed to give me a private room!
Whew!

Never been so nervous. So that is great, I can work with this in private. I'm still thinking that I need to use some stuff to make sure that I don't end up with soaking beds each day. So I will be looking into the various diapers/caths you have all mentioned. Thanks for helping me find the courage to talk to them about this!