www.incontinentsupport.org

Paul,

I am glad for you that it is over and that you are well.

--John

HI, PB&J - I totally get that lying still for several hours thing. After my heart attack in Feb., I got a stent put into my groin. I had to lie immobile for I think it was 4 hours.

Wetters

The wife and I at our recent family photos........

This is the whole family......

Glad the surgery went well. I know it can be frustrating that they didn't find anything, but on the bright side at least they didn't find anything serious which would require more surgery. Btw nice family pictures. Enjoy the kids because before you know it they will be in their twenties like mine is. Seems like yesterday he was only 7 when he became my son.

Howdy Paul

I'm glad that your surgery went ok and that they didn't find anything seriously wrong.
Finding what can cause our incontinence can be a hard thing to find, so don't feel alone.
It was right at 4 years AFTER I had my car accident before the dr's found out what was causing mine.
That was 4 years of hell for me, as the many different doctors tried many different things to find or try to fix my incon.
When my latest uro doctor ran some tests in 1990 (the computer quit working in the middle of the test) and the results came back
that they FINALLY found out that the nerves going to my bladder didnt work anymore.
The doctor thought that I would be upset with the results but I was real happy.
Happy that they finally found something didnt work right. There was no repair in my case as the nerves was damaged.
But life goes on, and even though we have different underwear from other people, we are NOT alone.


You have a nice looking family
You also have a second family right here, and you are most welcome to stick around for a while

Schoppy

Thanks guys, I am glad they didn't find stuff that would require more surgery, the month leading up to this one was all the anxiety I could handle. Glad it's all over. I am not sure what the next step is now but I will be with you all for a while.... I appreciate the fraternity and the family type atmosphere here.....

Thursday January 1, 2015: I have not written in quite some time so my apologies for not keeping up with this. I haven't had anything new to add since the surgery. I am still experiencing all the same symptoms with very little changes or deviation in frequency or severity. I have been using Foley catheters still to manage my condition as it is the only thing that seems to help me stay out of the bathroom for any length of time or to endure a car ride of more than 45min-1 hour. I'm still wearing diapers 24/7 when not at work and managing the 50-90 hour workweeks with Depend or Tena pull-ups with a Tena for men pad. This seems to work well for my needs. The incontinence remains as small leaks or dribbles after urination I have spots sometimes as small as a silver dollar and sometimes as large as a lemon. It's enough to make me feel uncomfortable when I am going 15-25 times per day.....I ALWAYS have to pee. Lately the incontinence has worsened so I'm seeing more leakage each time, it is still in the "light" category compared to what you all are dealing with. I also deal with sexual side effects namely (lately it's more regular than occasional) occasional erectile dysfunction which is really no fun for a 33 year old male to face. My wife is pretty supportive, though she has her moments. Once in a while she makes a smart ass comment about having a husband with "leaky plumbing" I'm extremely sensitive about it, and there's very little that I'm sensitive about.....I have a real thick skin, really. But she is right there with a foley tray for me whenever I need her to cath me. I still refuse to do it myself. I get weak in the knees just thinking about it. I removed my own foley one time and that really was tough to do. She will occasionally assist with diaper changes to be nice, though I don't require Her to do that for me. (My wife is an ER nurse for those of you who are just tuning in!!!)
So I have taken a hiatus from doctors since the surgery in November. I haven't been to one doctors appointment since the middle of November, and it feels great, though I'm not symptom free. It gives me more time to work overtime to support the family!! Yippee!! I have a follow up coming up with a neurologist but he is not likely to do any more for me. I also was contacted by the endocrinologist who saw me once in July and wants to run some follow up tests and lab work. I got called right after the surgery and I was pretty jaded by the whole not finding anything ordeal so I told her that I wasn't immediately interested in putting myself through any more tests or procedures, but amid pressure from the wife to do "just one more test" (I heard that like 3 doctors ago) I'll probably end up doing whatever tests they want because she (my wife) is so persistent.
So, I'm getting used to it, I don't like it and life is more complicated for sure. We have a lot more logistics to leaving the house, including charting bathrooms, carrying a diaper bag, having a foley placed if we're going to be more than 45 minutes in the car or places where the bathroom situation is uncertain. But after all the tests I've endured, I know I'm otherwise healthy and cancer free.....I just have to wear diapers to stay dry and an occasional Foley catheter to enjoy life outside the bathroom......gotta go.....I gotta pee.....

Saturday January 31, 2015
Well, I figured I'd write to keep up with this blog. Several weeks ago my wife ordered some bladder control formula she found on Amazon.com and it has pumpkin seed extract in it. So I began taking it right away and have actually noticed a slight decrease in frequency during the day. I have noticed I am only up one or two times per night as well. The incontinence, while still light is still there, it is the same if not a little bit worse. So I am not out of diapers at home, I am still using pullups and pads at work. I'm used to the solution and it seems to be working for me and it's not the end of the world. The wife actually doesn't mind the pull-ups but still doesn't really care much for the diapers. She is supportive of my condition, but I feel like I'm a great disappointment to her and I feel like she is turned off by the sight of me. As I have stated before I have become very sensitive about how I am perceived by her and she doesn't seem to do a lot to dissuade my feelings. She's pretty preoccupied with the children. She is a good mother but I'm feeling pretty ignored.
I'm still using Foley catheters regularly pretty much every week when I get home from work, I spend a few days and nights with the foley just so I can sleep through the night without having to get up. Even though the frequency is decreased it still is more than what a normal person should be going. I haven't been keeping track but would guess it is in the vicinity of 15ish times per day. So the foley is hugely helpful with managing this. It slows down my daily routine and I can't do anything hugely physical with the foley in or risk bleeding into the foley bag from bladder irritation. It rarely ever causes me much pain as I'm pretty used to living with a foley and have now since early June 2014 which is now over 7 1/2 months almost 8 months now. My 1 year anniversary with bladder issues and urinary frequency is coming up at the end of February/early March. I'm not exactly sure when I actually noticed I was having problems, but it was sometime in early March I guess.....
So other than feeling like I'm dealing with this alone some days I am doing alright with managing this condition. I can't really talk much about how I feel with her because she just doesn't "get it" I tell her that I feel like I'm a turn off to her and that she's disappointed that I'm wearing protection, further, I don't feel reassured that our relationship is where it was before I was "broken" she stares off at the TV or at her iPhone.......this is bothering me today. We were without children last night and I couldn't get Her to come near me. Finally I just rolled over and went to sleep.......anyway......I'd like to think I could go out and meet a girl that would give a shit, but who wants a broken guy with ED who wears diapers?? I guess we all have our crosses to bear......

I strongly suggest you two make a Marriage Encounter weekend. http://www.wwme.org/ Do what you can now to save your marriage before it comes completely crashing down!