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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:55 pm 
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Location: York, Maine
Thursday September 18: Well, it is been a while since I have written. When I left you guys last we were headed for the Berkshires in western Massachusetts for a family funeral for my wife's grandmother. The trip down was three hours long and I had the Foley so it was bearable. We were there for four days and she left the Foley and for all four days we were there because I would need it for the trip home as I cannot go more than 45 minutes to an hour in the car without really having to go. We stayed in a house with a bunch of her relatives and some friends of her relatives. Anybody that may not have known about my urinary problems certainly does now, I used a bedside bag at night and the wife was kind enough to assist me by changing me over to a leg bag during the days. Everybody staying in the house saw me with each of the bags at one time or another, though I don't believe anybody found out about the diapers. (I always have a diaper on over the foley) the diapers are much easier to hide than a foley bag. I did have to answer a few questions from some family members who didn't know about my new normal or who I hadn't seen in a while. Anyway, It really is a miserable feeling not being able to go very far without being nearby a bathroom. I feel like a prisoner many times. I ended up having the Foley in for eight days, those things really are a lifesaver when you're in the situation that I am right now I have come to depend on them because nothing else seems to be working. After we got home from the Berkshires, I really did not want her to take the foley out but I had to go back to work the following day so it had to come out. Plus, we cannot do husband and wife things with the catheter in. So she took the catheter out and everything seemed to be okay for a few days the frequency was down, the incontinence wasn't quite as bad as it had been and things seem to be looking up. I thought hey, maybe eight days with the catheter might have fixed my problem!!! Guess again...... After a few days without the catheter things started to pick up again. Things gradually returned to my new normal of 20 to 25 times per day plus the incontinence every time I urinate and all of the rest of the normal stuff that you guys of been reading about over the past several months. The last two or three days; however, the frequency has been in the low 30s. Yesterday was 33 times going to the bathroom, so things are really picking up right now. The incontinence remains on the lighter side comparatively speaking to what most of you are dealing with. I am having some difficulty sleeping as you can imagine because I am always running to the bathroom so I am up at night between two and five times each night. I am in the middle of a four day run at work so I will be at work for the better part of four days so that means no catheter, though,m the wife is willing to put one in for me I cannot have it at work due to the physical nature of my job. I am hoping to be home on Sunday night and she will likely be placing a catheter for me so that I can get a good nights uninterrupted sleep. In the meantime I'm wearing pull-ups and pads at work amd changing regularly.
In other news, I had my follow-up to the MRIs with the neurologist and he was completely puzzled because the MRI shows some very minor abnormalities but nothing that really jumped out at him is something that would be a cause for the problems that I am having. He still wants me to go to Mass General Hospital to see the neuroendocrinologist and now he wants me to go see an interventional radiologist at a different hospital and hour and 15 minutes away from me. It will be hard to make these appointments due to our busy work schedules both the wife and I are working and we have two small children so it is difficult to schedule around both work schedules and childcare. I would really like to go to both of these doctors to rule anything out that somebody else may have missed, I would hate to miss either one of these doctors and find out they might hold the answers that I am looking for. I am preparing myself to live with this, but it greatly concerns me that the frequency keeps going up and up and up I do not want to live in a bathroom. I also do not want to be unable to take more than a 45 minute car ride without being uncomfortable, that is no way to live life. If the frequency continues to climb in numbers weekly where will it stop? Or will I just wake up one day with zero control?? Another thing I'm battling right now which is more concerning than the rest of this is I am still having some problems with erectile dysfunction with alarming regularity......I suspect this has a lot to do with the anxiety of all that I'm experiencing. I have never had anxiety problems until this year......now some days (including my birthday on September 1) my anxiety is at fever pitch and I get wrapped up so tight I can't get unwound.....it caused a lot of problems at home and I was so jacked up my birthday got by me......it was a shitty day.....and sometimes the anxiety seems to drive the urinary frequency to extremes. So, but erectile dysfunction sure isn't anything to laugh at.... I have a prescription for Viagra and it didn't work last night leaving us both bewildered. Luckily the wife was VERY understanding and we stopped and took a few minutes to catch our breath and things seemed to start working again.....this is pretty nearly a new normal for us as well, and I feel like such a let down for her.....she doesn't much care for a diapered husband but a husband with ED is even worse......anyway....were plugging away at it one day at a time....she has been very understanding lately and I would have a hard time being without her. All I want is for her to listen and say, "I'm sorry you're having troubles" she has been a Foley catheter queen!! She has even assisted me with a couple of diaper changes just to show support, though I am capable of doing it myself, it's always nice to have a hand getting dressed once in a while. Anyway.....that's where we're at as of today. Thanks for reading my "blog"


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2014 10:01 pm 
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Location: York, Maine
Thank You for the kind words, Schoppy!!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 5:48 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 8:08 pm
Posts: 480
Location: York, Maine
Saturday September 27: not much new to report. Urinary frequency and incontinence continue to plague me. It's still frustrating. The wife is working on making the appointment with the interventional radiologist at Lahey Clinic in Burlington, Mass that is an 1 hour and 15 minutes away. I don't know if she's been able to make the appointment yet. Having all kinds of things scheduled on the calendar drives my anxiety to extremes. There is always so much to schedule around. I'm tired of being sick and not even having time to get to the doctor........so she's handling it and I don't know where it's at. We also still have to make a day to go to Massachusetts General Hospital to see the neuro endocrinologist, I'll be lucky to make both of those appointments any time soon. Things are just too hectic and it's frustrating to no end. So that's where we're at as of today. Thanks everybody for reading my story!!!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 6:10 pm 
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Location: York, Maine
Monday October 13: so it has been a little while since I have written about my situation here. At the present I am not having any difficulties outside of what I have already written about here. I am still having urinary frequency and some urinary incontinence. I deal with it every day as do all of you here. I am fairly lucky in that my incontinence is fairly light and can be managed most days with the pull-up and pad. I still prefer a regular diaper for the security that it provides me, some of this is mental as well as physical security. As you all know if you have something that provides you with security then you go with it even if it is a little bit of overkill. So my latest developments in the last week and a half or so I have had several doctors appointments and some interesting things have come from them. First off I had an appointment with my primary care doctor, and the best that he could come up with was that after an exhaustive work and he could not find anything wrong with me nor could the other seven doctors that I had seen up until that point. What the primary care doctor thought was that I had some kind of a mental issue. He suggested a somatoform disorder you may be interested to read about it online as I was when he told me about it. Somebody that has a somatoform disorder has all the physical symptoms of a medical problem without actually having the medical problem, very interesting stuff. He thinks that the somatoform disorder is the body's response to stress in which the body manifests with physical symptoms that cannot be medically linked to a known diagnosis of any particular condition. In my case the urinary symptoms are the medical symptoms that I'm experiencing but cannot be linked to any particular urinary condition definitively. So in essence, it is a very nice way of saying that it is all in your head and there is nothing wrong with you. The fact is, I am still having problems and I am still experiencing conditions. I am wearing diapers 24/7 and still using catheters as needed. So even if they can't find a definitive medical condition I still have symptoms and they are causing problems with my daily living. I am also experiencing erectile dysfunction and, not all the time but enough that that has caused some distress in my relationship with my wife. That is extremely distressing as I am only 33 years old and should not be having problems of that nature at this point in my life.
So I came home from the primary care doctor and was ready to hang it up and accept that I had a somatoform disorder and that it was all in my head knowing that I am still experiencing symptoms. Well, my wife would not hear of it. She did not believe that that was it, as much as I read many things I experienced did not fit the perfect mold of a somatoform disorder but a lot of things were similar in that people have symptoms, the symptoms are real and this happens to people with anxiety issues. But, this only is diagnosed in like .2% of males???a very small percentage. Many people who experience somatoform disorders are female. One of the criteria for a diagnosis is that the symptoms must have started prior to age 30, my symptoms did not start until I was 32, so there are a bunch of things that just don't seem to fit the mold but then there was a lot of things that did fit the mold. The more I read, the more I saw that they all treatment for this was with a psychologist. There is no treatment for the physical symptoms as many of the symptoms are chronic in nature most of that made sense to me. I was ready to accept that this is my condition and just live with it.
Several days after that appointment I had an appointment with Dr. #9 who is an interventional radiologist at Lahey clinic in Burlington Massachusetts. I was referred to him by the neurologist who ordered the MRIs done and had reviewed them with me after the completion of the four MRIs that I had in August. The neurologist had told me after reviewing the MRIs but he hadn't seen much on the MRIs that jumped out at him and he could not find a definitive cause for the symptoms that I was experiencing. He was very nice but told me that this was pretty much the end of the road for he and I as he could find no neurological explanation for what was going on with me.
When we got to Lahey clinic they looked at the MRIs that had been done in August. They studied them for about 10 minutes before they called my wife and I into the doctors office to review them with us present. What he found astounded me. He looked at a spot on my spine and said that appears to be a spinal dural arteriovenous fistula. A SDAVF is an abnormal vascular structure, also known as an abnormal blood vessel. This blood vessel appears to be inside the spinal canal on or near the spinal cord potentially causing the symptoms that I'm experiencing. The problem with that is that most people that have one of these also have neurological deficits like numbness, weakness, tingling, and other problems with their arms and legs. I have none of these and only have problems with my bladder and other urinary type symptoms and now the erectile problems. So he is not 100% sure that this is it but he says this is a possibility that this is one of these fistulas on my spine. The only way to be completely sure is to do a spinal angiogram. I was thinking to myself, great, more tests. The more he described this procedure, the more nervous I got. Apparently this is a surgical procedure which in my case involves general anesthesia and the procedure is very similar to a cardiac catheterization if anybody is familiar with that. They go in through the femoral artery, up your descending aorta and they look at the individual blood vessels that service the spinal cord and each vertebrae at each level of the spine. The procedure takes several hours and if they find one of these abnormal blood vessels, the spinal dural arteriovenous fistula (SDAVF) that I mentioned, they fill it with superglue and hopefully a clots it off and you're done with it. Obviously when you work that close to the spine there is a slight risk of paralysis so there's a chance I may not walk out of there, though I know it is remote. After the procedure you have to lie still flat on your back for upwards of 4 to 6 hours. Because there is a significant risk of bleeding as they are going into your femoral artery and they need to make sure that you form a clot so that you do not have significant bleeding after the procedure. That lying still part is kind of a problem for a guy that has to urinate every 15 to 20 minutes. So the resident that my wife talked to when she made the appointment said that they would put a Foley catheter in me, that makes me very nervous because until right now the only one that has had to do that for me has been my wife and I am very comfortable with her doing it. I am not super comfortable with somebody else doing it to me. So I am having a lot of anxiety about it, not just because of that but because I have never had any kind of surgery before other than having my wisdom teeth out and a vasectomy. I realize this is not major surgery but to me it is a significant event. It is scheduled for the middle of November. I will be looking forward to putting it behind me. On a bright note this could be the cure to my problem and I could be all done with all of this from now on. So that is a good thing. I look forward to being able to sleep through the night without having to get up multiple times. I also look forward to being able to get in the car without having to research bathroom stops or worry about how I'm going to make it for a long trip. My wife is been very supportive about having this procedure she really wanted me to go through with it we are both hoping this is a care for the problem. She has been a calming influence when I describe to her the amount of anxiety that I'm having about having this procedure done. She has really been great about this whole thing.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 8:59 pm 
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While the risks do seem scary, I am overjoyed that you may finally have an answer! I pray this could be it and you will be cured


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 7:09 pm 
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Location: York, Maine
My only concern is that he wasn't overly sure that this was it......so it's a long shot....further, most people who have a SDAVF have neurological deficits including numbness, weakness, and tingling in their arms and legs. I have none of this.....so.....it's hard telling.....I won't know until after the surgery whether it has helped.......


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 6:18 am 
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I would not be too concerned with the symptoms other people have. If this is your problem and it has been caught early, it is entirely plausible that it has affected bladder function first rather than other functions of legs etc. However, from what I have read, it seems that it progresses so that in the future, if not treated, more functions will be affected.

I have my fingers crossed that this will be your solution and you will get back your bladder function.. and not need us here any more. :-)


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 1:11 pm 
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Location: York, Maine
Wheels, it would seem as though you are correct. This seems to be a progressive thing so while I don't have neuro symptoms now, I could have them in the future if left untreated. But there again, I may not. There's a chance even still that this is not it!!! So I guess you just don't know. The surgery has great results with restoration of neurological function but says that sphincter disorders are rarely cured......so it's a big game of "what if??"


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2014 5:39 pm 
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Location: York, Maine
Monday November 10: well it's been a while since I have updated all of you on my condition though I am a regular contributor to this site I thought I would keep my little blog going for all of you. As of today there really aren't any changes to note, it's just more of the same. Still wearing diapers at home and depend for men pull-ups with the pad at work. We are also still using the Foley catheters. I recently got another shipment in of Foley catheter supplies. The medical supply company advised me that it was time to reorder, so I did not knowing what the future will hold. I figure it is better to have the supplies and not need them then you need them and dont have them in hand. At this point I am spending nearly all my time home from work with a foley to help keep me out of the bathroom. We are surviving right now, though and I kind a have this condition down to a science. We have a have a routine at this point in the game and it seems to be working okay. The big thing that is really going on right now is the surgery on Friday which is five days away. We have been counting down for the last month towards this day. I'm extremely nervous, my anxiety is very high about the whole thing as I have never had any kind of surgery other than my wisdom teeth and a vasectomy so it's really big deal to me. I really do not know what to expect or how long the recovery will take. The doctors have not been very clear about what to expect after this thing is all over with. I don't even know if I will be staying in the hospital that night, it is all up in the air right now. If they end up going in and doing the superglue and they will keep me overnight but if they get in there and it is not a Spinal Dural Arteriovenous Fistula (SDAVF)and they don't embolize with superglue, they will not keep me.....it is a day procedure.....allegedly......
I am very grateful for the support that I have received from my newfound friends on this group here. It is nice to know that people are concerned for my welfare even though we are on a semi-anonymous online form. Wetters, Rope, Tarlton, among others, you are awesome!!
As for the future I really don't know what happens after this. Whether I will be cured or whether I will continue to live with this condition. So I cannot say whether this is it for me posting on the forums or not because I may continue to live with this and remain an active participant here. One thing is for certain, this is one of the premier forums for folks with incontinence issues. You guys have been awesome all through this difficult time. Most people that have this condition are not out in the open about it so it's hard to discuss this with your friends at home. People that have never been through this before just would not understand all the ups and downs.
I guess this is it for now.....I'll let you know how things go after the surgery.....

Paul


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2014 11:11 pm 
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Thanks, PB&J - you're awesome,too! I'm happy and honored for the opportunity and privilege to stand with you.

Wetters


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