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Hi LtsofQues!

Don't get too carried awaay with the bread, I don't want you to gain weight from my suggestion! Any ways, I'm glad it helped. Sounds like you're getting some confidence back! That's great!

You asked about what you do if you need a change at a friends house. That's a good question. Usually, If I'm going to out for a while, I'll wear a disposable. I'm good for 3 to 4 hours before I need to change. For a female like yourself, you can always carry a spare diaper in your purse. For me, I can't do that. You can sort of carry a slightly larger purse than you normally do that could conceal it. Then you have a sorce to take away your soiled diaper. You sure don't want to leave it in your friends home trash!

My wife and I have good friends who we go visit every year. It's a two night stayover so I have a hard time trying to conceal my diapers. So far, I've done a good job and they don't know. I hope I can keep it up. Traveling can present it's problems

Thanks for the post, I look forward for more! ........Paul Martin

Nice job, Paul, you got a great thread going, staring with urging folks to post and getting into lots of interesting discussion and new folks posting, which is wonderful!

I have to chime in on hydration since I'm one of the bad ones who doesn't drink in order to make the diaper last. I resolve to improve.

I also am sorry to neglect the board; it's been hectic. Paul and Sandy are doing an absolutely wonderful job!

JoeK

Paul, you're right you don't wnat to eat way too much bread but some does help.
I'm actulally not using a diaper I'm using a pull up panty which makes you feel like you're wearing underwear but has its own challenges. It is discreet but difficult to change if you're not at home. I was planning on using it for excercise, but Sandv was right, it's not going to hold up. I will have to talk to her about the best way to resolve this. I guess at a friend's house I could use a larger purse then put it in some plastic bags and throw it away when I get home. When I was out on Saturday I felt like I had so much more control with the protection. I didn't change at all until I came home but I know that is not always going to be realistic.

Hi Everyone
It's good to be back, Hope everyone is doing well.

Water is very important. If I don't have enough my whole system is messed up. I can get very bad utis that turn into kidney infections very easily,( I had back to back ones that I don't wish on anyone), And the irritability, rashes, dry skin, ect.. is enough to drive a person crazy, I didn't know what was happening to me untill my Doc asked if I was hydrating enough. (for me, as a constant leaker, He told me at least 3 liters a day.) I wasn't drinking even half that. After doing so, my diaper consumption has gone up but my other problems are gone. BIG BIG Difference in Quality of life. I have to change more but its worth it, I may even start wearing cloth full time, just for the winter, (my clothes will hide the bulk,) anyway I look forward to chatting w/everyone.

Thanks again and sorry about the excessive posts. I am thinking now that I am working this out I want to go back to school. I was in school part-time before but when I couldn't feel my bladder and started leaking alot I stopped for obvious reasons. I registered all ready but have some reservations. I will either need permission to use the bathroom every hour or so or have to use heavier protection. Most college teachers don't make a rule about leaving the room but when you have a test or sometimes in a lab you cannot leave the room until its over because of cheating. Some night classes are three hours long. I know there is an office for students with disabilities that can have teachers accomodate students with special needs but my only need is my bladder problem and I don't think I'm brave enough to share this. Right now I can hold for about twenty minutes while sitting and leak alot but I don't know if I will be able to do that if I have to walk very far. I currently am using the poise panty but for a situation like this and excercising I will most likely have to have the nerve to use something more. I really have reservations about using a diaper but it seems like a better alternative than having an accident in a small classroom. If I am going to school I can bring a large backpack for my books and just put my supplies in there with a possible change of clothes. I was thinking if I have a test I could use a brief just in case and then use the panty still on regular days, or I could do the opposite by planning on a brief every day and then if it goes o.k. just use the brief on test days and go back to the panty full time. I have noticed that when I am stressed or nervous I leak more and can't hold as long. If I have a test that is an hour or two long I'm pretty sure I could run into some problems. My concerns are weather or not to ask for an accomodation for this, I don't know if they have dealt with it before and the teacher will find out about my problem. Next, what I would wear if I do have a diaper in order to hide it and prevent leaks and also what kind I would get. Third, how I would cope if I did have an accident in class and what if someone finds out. What would you do in this situation? Have any of you had to deal with this is school and how did you handle it?

LstofQues,
I think going back to school is a great ideal. You're right that your incontinence does not need to keep you from going back to school.

My preference in your situation would just wear a brief type diaper that will give you peace of mind. Sure, you're probably over-protected, but if you get caught in a situation that keeps you from the restroom, you're covered. They make brief type diapers that are pretty discreet. I don't think people will be able to tell you're wearing a diaper.

As far as what to wear, Sandy needs to step in and give her advise. I think what she would suggest, though, is some loose fitting jeans. That's what I wear and the cotton in the jeans hide any noice from a plastic backed disposable diaper. In extreme situations where I'm not able to change soon enough, I wear a pair of plastic pants over my disposable to catch any leaks while sitting or standing. Believe me, I have been saved many times with my plastic pants on when my diaper had a leak!
Also, dark colored pants will hide a leak a lot better than light colored pants. Any other questions, just let us know! Keep up your ambitions, LstofQues!!!!! .................. Paul Martin

Howdy
It's not uncommon for collage students to wear diapers during long lecture or test You maybe surprised to find out how many people around you do that.(if you could) I can't give you any numbers on that. But I've read about it many times on other boards. Also the nice thing is if your just sitting you can wear heavier protection and have little worry of being noticed. But again if you wear loose fit or relax fit jeans one size bigger then you need you may be surprised as to what you can wear underneath and be totally undetectable. Also another great one for us diaper wearers is bib overalls. I never really cared for them that much but now that I've been wearing cloth diapers overalls are about the best thing there is for concealing cloth diapers. I've worn cloth diapers with as many as six layers in them and my husband says he couldn't tell the difference Granted I felt like I was waddling a little bit Anyway I'm being called got to go
................Sandy

Hi there, Ltsofques, and welcome to the ISC where you've met some wonderful folks and gotten great advice from Sandy and Paul Martin and others!

I think I can say "We love questions" since that's how we can jump in and hopefully, help out. Lots of folks here have been thru a lot and I don't think there are many situations that someone here has not experienced and on which can comment and offer advice.

In the case of your question about disclosing or not disclosing, I am in the privacy camp, myself. I feel my incon is my private problem and as long as I manage it effectively so I am not leaking in public, then it's nobody's business.

Your big fear seems to be concealability and that is always a big deal for folks new to incon. There is that natural feeling of "standing out". You know you are wearing a diaper, and it feels so unusual....you are sure others can tell you are wearing a diaper. But let me just agree with the excellent posts already, people just don't notice. It will take some time for you to feel comfortable wearing a diaper in public, but I predict you will find it gets easier as you find out first hand that no one can tell you are wearing a diaper. And the reward in peace of mind is great. If you experiment with wearing a premium diaper now, like an Abena X Plus or a Secure Plus, or a Molicare...all these are considered "thick" diapers but all are very good at keeping you safely free from leaks for 6 to 8 hours. That is a great deal of peace of mind and a big worry lifted from your sholders so you can concentrate on the test, or lab work, and not be concerned that you can't get away to the bathroom!

And please keep in mind a basic rule is not to experiment out in public. Always wear a known diaper or combination of protection when out in public. Do experiment, by all means, that's how we find new and better management ideas, but don't risk it in public. Do it in the safety of home or other secure environment where there is no embarassment if there is a leak.

JoeK

Sandy, you are right about this stuff. Yesterday morning when I woke up I stood up and had a terrible leak. I blame this on the water and excercise. Not only did my panty leak but it tore and basically fell apart. I feel like calling the company and asking for a refund. This hasn't happened to me in months. What if I had been at work for this? Since I have been wearing this panty without changing often my skin is getting iritated and this is one reason something with tapes is neccessary. Have any of you every used prevail panties because they have tapes and are inexpensive? I was thinking of getting depend refestenables for the gym because it says they are not detectable under clothing. Paul you are right, it is better to be overprotected and prepared than leave a puddle somewhere. What's frustrated to me is that most of the some I only leak a bit and then once in a while, not very often I can have a gush or like yesterday, a flood. Sandy, what kind of jeans do you wear? The stretch jeans that I have don't even work with a pad because when it gets wet it has a big obvious bulge. I am going today to look for some baggy black workout pants. I have a hard time finding jeans anyway because I have a bigger stomach but a very flat behind. I know that sounds weird but that is another concern of mine with protection because if a diaper adds bulk it could be obvious that my shape has changed. I was thinking that when I go to the doctor to only wear a pad in case they ask me to wear one of those gowns and see that I have a panty or diaper on.

Hey LstofQues,
You really shouldn't worry about wearing a diaper to your doctor visit. I assume you're speaking of a urologist? The workers in there along with the doctor see patients in diapers all the time. It won't mean any thing to them. Don't skimp on your protection. I did on one of the first visits to my urologist. I was very nervous and anxious and had a flood despite trying my best to hold it. The doctor saw how wet I was and his nurse offerd me a dry diaper to change in to. Once I changed, then the doc could examine me. Since then, I wear a full brief type diaper all the time. Just a word of advise on that matter! Good Luck!! ..................Paul Martin